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Home » Talk » Message 2448825

A man walks into the King's Arms and says
"I'd like a pint of beer, please"
and the King says
"You need to be in a pub".
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:34, archived)
Silly Northern.
Jokes are funny!
That is not joke!
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:35, archived)
A man with no legs walks into a bar
and the barman says
"How the fuck did you do that?"
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:35, archived)
HA NO.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:36, archived)
Pffft

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:35, archived)
Why doesn't someone have a pub called 'The Pope's Arms'?

(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:36, archived)
because the Pope doesn't have any.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:37, archived)
Because he is a whale?

(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:38, archived)
because it would put people off their chips.

(I helped save b3ta! KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:37, archived)
Yes...

(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:39, archived)
Because the main religion in this country has historically been Protestantism

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:37, archived)
Religion has something to do with pub names?
Ridiculious!
(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:38, archived)
I meant
the Pope (and Catholicism in general) has not been held in high regard by the authorities, so naming your pub after the head of the Catholic church is tantamount to outright sedition.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:40, archived)
Even now?

(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:42, archived)
Not in Glasgow!
In Glasgow, it's a show of ethnic identity/an attempt to stir up sectarian hatred (cross off your choice, then shove a glass in someone's face)
(I helped save b3ta! KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:42, archived)
I meant in England

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:44, archived)
A man walks into a bar.
He has several pints.
He walks home and gets there safely having had a most enjoyable evening.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:37, archived)
A man walks into a pub.
He has an alcohol habit that is destroying his family.
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:37, archived)
In two posts we've crossed an entire spectrum of emotions.

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:38, archived)
My wife's so fat
it's emotionally crippling.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:38, archived)
Your mothers so fat
She is at an increased risk of type 2 diabetes and heart disease.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:40, archived)
A genuine conversation I heard:
"You're mum's so fat, when she goes to the cinema, she has to ask for two seats"
(the retort):
"Yeah, your mum's so fat, when she goes to the cinema, she has to ask for seventeen seats".
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:42, archived)
Why does an undertaker wear a top hat?
Because his is a sombre profession, and his attire requires an air of gravitas.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:38, archived)
I love you
I don't tell you this enough
(I helped save b3ta! Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:41, archived)
Come.
Embrace the infinite.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:43, archived)
Alright

(I helped save b3ta! Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:53, archived)