AH now I remember.
The urban sound dictionary.

bDom...dom..dommamommaDONG - The sound of a wheelie bin taken back from the kerb after bin collection day.

Kronch-chom-yuk-slather..... the city fox rejecting the over-microwaved penne arrabiata you'd thrown out in yesterday's trash.

Bh-Bh-Bh-BH-r.r.r.r.r.rRHHHHHYAM! am.amam.am..amm..Chufff.

The Subaru Impreza with a Powerchip Boost enhancement and an uprated dump valve. In a cul-de-sac. Repeatedly.

What keeps you awake at night, in the city?

EDIT for my luck it's pissing church tower bells. 4 times an hour, on the pissing four times an hour.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:55, archived)

the sound of ym screaming

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:56, archived)

if you were doing MM
I rather think it was you being the foolish one....?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:57, archived)

Nothing, I live in a cul-de-sac.
Well, sometimes the crack.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:57, archived)

ooh look, a kitten

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:00, archived)

Are you going to stove in its head, Frank?

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

no no, this is an emergency kitten
it's been summoned by my shit post blocking script

posts with too many line breaks, ascii images or memes get replaced with a soothing picture of a kitten
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

Daawwwww
How are you?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:05, archived)

I went to a laundrette today!

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

Oh man!
You'll never guess, I went to the shop!
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

shops are rubbish compared to laundrettes
I got to watch my washing going round in circles for HOURS
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:16, archived)

I'm watching mine doing that RIGHT NOW.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

yes but this one had a MASSIVE spin dryer
I reckon it could fit at least ten chihuahuas inside and still have room for a toddler
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

There was a chihuaha in work last night that got poisoned from drinking toilet water.
Fucking retarded thing. £300 odd bill for drinking toilet water.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

How did it reach?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

Good point.
Fuck knows.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

"Trash"?
Have you been listening to Def Leppard again?
( FoldsFive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

Shurely Alice Cooper
although there's always the joke about what Trash actually means, I dunno.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:05, archived)

I was thinking of the lyrics to Lets Get Rocked.
Lads from Sheffield desperately trying to sound American to break the market.
( FoldsFive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:06, archived)

Ah do you wanna get rooockkked?

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:07, archived)

Mutt Lange influence
hang, on, you're thinking about the lyrics? I'ma bassist! Lyrics is what.....who...eh...?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

I saw Def Leppard live when the drummer still had two arms

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

the rigt to bear arms
and the actual arm itself?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

yeah sure, why not

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

That was a great post.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

I live on the edge of a village, halfway up a mountain.
So I dunno. Rapists?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

Aww, cute kitty.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:07, archived)

so what's the deal with when you reply
'they're bastards' to a thread about the 'KKK murdering children' and then you come back and find the original question has been edited to say ' moslem pacifists heal the sick'?

"Retro-thread adjust awareness requires backward as well as forward thinking."
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

Mainly aircraft
but living by an airport for 30 years means I am used to it - it's when we go on holiday I can't sleep, it's too quiet.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

werewolves

( scott,, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

Hmmm....BMMFFGH!...fffffFFFFFFFTTTTT....hmmmmmm...click
The boiler.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

There's a clock like yours near me.
It's not that close so I can just about hear it, I quite like it actually.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

        ._                __.                                         
        / \"-.          ,-",'/                                         
       (   \ ,"--.__.--".,' /                                          
       =---Y(_i.-'  |-.i_)---=                                         
      f ,  "..'/\\v/|/|/\  , l                                         
      l//  ,'|/   V / /||  \\j    LOOK AT ME I'M AN ANIME GIRL !!!!!!!!
       "--; / db     db|/---"                                          
          | \ YY   , YY//                                              
          '.\_   (_),"' __                                            
        .-"    "-.-." I,"  `.                                          
        \.-""-. ( , ) ( \   |                                          
        (     l  `"'  -'-._j                                           
 __,---_ '._." .  .    \                                               
(__.--_-'.  ,  :  '  \  '-.                                            
    ,' .'  /   |   \  \  \ "-                                          
     "--.._____t____.--'-""'                                           
            /  /  `. ".          I'M GOING TO JOIN THE MIRITALLY       
           / ":     \' '.                                              
         .'  (       \   :                                             
         |    l      j    "-.                                          
         l_;_;I      l____;_I                                          
                                                                       
                      cgmm                             

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

Aw, it's a ginger kitty this time.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

it's quite a feat of web programming to make Wormulus seem tolerable

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:32, archived)

now i'm upset

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:36, archived)

Something that replaced any post with 'ym' or 'COCK TUESDAY' in it for a random historic post
by any other user. I'd buy that for a dollar.
( Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:39, archived)

Gilgy, make it so.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:45, archived)

eh? the Wormulus meme is already blocked isn't it?
I just wrote a new version that lets you click to reveal the original post, just fine-tuning it before I upload that
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:58, archived)