My best mates won't eat it unless it's cremated
it'd cause too many arguments.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Ahh. They like dry, ruined meat.
Is that why they like you?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

I'm awesome, Mottykins.
You're just jealous.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

I'd definitely like a slice of your dried ruined meat.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Be a nice boy.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

Was that not a compliment?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:09, archived)

Gilgamesh manages better than that.
Alright, if it's the best I'm going to get today.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:09, archived)

Like my mum
I like my beef to moo when I stick my fork in, all that brown cooked stuff can fuck right off
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

Innit.
Like my steak. I want it burned on the outside, raw on the inside. Nobody really knows how to do that, save one chap in Holland and me, it seems.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

I can do it.
I choose to not let it burn though, just before, while it's basically still mooing in the middle.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

Noooo
I do it so it's still mooing, it's just been caught in some sort of hiroshima style burny blast.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

You need a good heavy griddle pan to get the outside just right

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

Yep.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

One of my best investments
is a Le Creuset ridged griddle pan. Ace for cooking steaks in. So heavy you and barely lift it!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

I do love le Creuset

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

I got really lucky with mine
I bought two frying pans, two casserole dishes and the griddle pan in a house clearance sale for £75. The griddle pan alone is about £100 new.

Win!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

RAR.
That's well done.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

They are pretty old but they work
They are also in an awesome 1970's shade of acid green.

One of the only advantages of working in an estate agency is being able to furnish my house with cheap stuff form house clearances!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

*loves green*
:-(

Jealous.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I'll hold my hands up now and say I've used my George Foreman
3 mins, nice charred lines and yummy nommy goodness.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

I don't have one of those, but only because I don't have the counter space.
If I had one, I'd not use it for steak, but lots of monkfish.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

It works quite well.
I leave it on a good while before I put the Steak in.
Probably nowhere near as hot as a griddle pan though.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I think I'd have to carry on griddling
as I don't do it for about 10/20 seconds on each side, hot as hell.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Anthony Worrel-Thompsons place used to do a black and blue.
Cooked over a charcoal grill so it's charred but blue inside.
Yumma yumma yum.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

PERFECT!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

Fail.
For cooking steaks at least.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Nah, it does work fairly well.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

Most people I know put the steak in the pan then turn the heat on, it makes me angry
I want my steak griddled, not boiled! I make sure the pan is hot enough to smelt copper before I even think about adding the steak.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Yep.
I always test it by chucking a little something in to see if it chucks it back out again.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

Now I'm hungry and want steak for lunch
I think all I'll get is a chicken sandwich and I have to wait 45 minutes :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I've had half a chicky sarnie and have no money for anything else.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

As soon as replicators are invented you will no longer have this problem
Luckily I have a Tesco Express about 250m away from the office, but that wouldn't help if I forgot to bring cash :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

I work on the outskirts of a villagy sort of town
15 minute's walk from the nearest link machine, and proper nice food is further still.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

This is only a little village, but that didn't stop Tesco from getting their claws into it :(

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Yep
Show it the pan, and then get it the fuck out as quick as possible. I like it to be all bleedy. Nom.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

Pan?
Fail.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

Yeah, because you use a grenade.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Gas grill, that has been left on full for 5 minutes before the hunk of meat goes on.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

I don't have a gas grill.
I'd wager that's probably quite an expense.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Not really, you cook other things on the grill for more than ten minutes at a time.
the 5 minutes it's on with no steak is still part of the cooking time.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

I always griddle it
plus it still sounds expensive.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

How is it expensive?
It's about 3 pence worth of gas and I don't eat steak every day.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

To buy the fucking thing in the first place, numpty.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Oh.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

Yeah, oh.
You and your bloody 'oh I know what she's talking about, she's just being stupid again'.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Well, to be fair to me,
you are just a woman.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

I could say the same to you, though.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

You just want me to show you my penis.
I'm wise to your games.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

I want everyone to show me their penis.
Why is that a revelation? I'm sure everyone wants to see everyone else's genitals really. The world would be a better place if we all saw each other's genitals.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

Not if you use a gas cooker.
I have an electric one so I wouldn't use that for a steak.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I've got an electric one
and it's going to cost me a couple of grand to get gas put through into the bit of the kitchen I need to get a new cooker. Hmph.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

You use a griddle, not a grill, you need to seal it with extreme heat dude!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

If I went to restaurant and my steak had no griddle lines I'd tell them to sack the chef and THEY'D DO IT TOO!
Sack em with my ballbags.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I tried explaining this in a steak house once, over here.
'No, I don't want sauce. A perfect steak provides it's own.'
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

^ This
One of my great pleasures is getting some crusty bread and dunking it in the pan the steak was cooked.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Oh shut UP.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

I cooked steaks the other night
I'm going to blog about them this afternoon I think now we have had this conversation!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

\o/
steak facts
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Indeed
I have pictures to post of it too!

Right, time for some lunch now, all this steak talk has made me hungry!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:26, archived)