My wife and parents are taking me for a surprise meal at a carvery tomorrow night.
I don't like carveries.
They do.
I like chinese.
Everyone knows this.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

Maybe they're making you think you're going to a carvery, but actually they'll take you to a chinese.
And then not let you order the duck.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

Turn up to the carvery like you're in Tianemen Square during the student protests.
Lay down in front of cars trying to get in to the car park, etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

I just might.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Insist on eating your carvery food with chopsticks.

( thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

I might fake illness.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Or run away to North London
and I'll buy you some Chinese food. The place up the road is lovely.
( thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Deal.
Can I have sex with you too.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

That's what I really want.
Chinese food and some dirty sex.
I'll get a carvery and a wank when the wife's nodded off instead.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

I was happy until my birthday came along.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

That's a lie

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Yes, I'm sure they won't mind.

( thealternativefact, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:38, archived)