"You are going to have to learn that sleeping with a string of men, because your semi-literate boyfriend looked at your mum
is NOT the secret to a lasting relationship."

"later in the show, we destroy a poor man/woman's life by telling the world that their relationship is a sham, because his/her partner is a lying, cheating slut - in our lie-detector test"
(likeajackhammer, Tue 19 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

We asked Derek "Did you have sex with your brothers mum
at a party while drunk ?" he said "no" and the polygraph showed he was lying.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

We asked Chantelle "Have you had sexual relations with anyone else since you started seeing Peter"... she said no... she was telling the truth
We then realised she didn't understand, so we explained what sexual relations meant... and she shit herself - literally
(likeajackhammer, Tue 19 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

We asked Brian
"Did you set fire to Marys dog when you found out she'd let Terry finger her outside McDonalds" He said "Yes"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

I could do a show like that.
And now for the DNA test Zoe. This man you call your father, the man who changed your nappy and bounced you on his knee is.....................................................................................................................NOT your real father.
Now man the fuck up and piss off. You go that way and you go that way.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 19 May 2009, 16:34, archived)