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Actually, I met him in our local rock pub.
He was the lead singer of a band, I was an impressionable 14 year old, I thought he was Johnny Depp... 6 years of friendship later, we finally got together.

Oh, sorry, HA. ;)
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:03, archived)
Yeah you totally missed my burn there,
I was saying you were a spastic, and that your boyfriend was the sort who dated the children under his care.

rofl.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:05, archived)
Jealous. You want my bones.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:06, archived)
only to make crude tools

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:08, archived)
yeah, to FUCK ME WITH.
I should calm down.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:08, archived)
Is the aircon off in your office or something?

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:09, archived)
Do women only love you because of heatstroke?
Oh, Chompius :-(
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
Women love me for my fucking charm.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
Not your charming fuck?
'I do apologise, my sweet, but I fear I may be about to ejaculate in your eye'.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:14, archived)
I'd be honoured if you'd put it in your mouth now my love.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:16, archived)
"Cum for me, you fucker, oh hnnnghhh!"
"Oh no, my dear, after you"
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:18, archived)
If only I didn't know you were talking about jobbies.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:18, archived)
I'm a dentist
I was fitting your new retainer.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:23, archived)
I could use some braces, actually.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:24, archived)
yeah bet you could,
bet you're desperate for braces.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:27, archived)
I'm a ho for the orthodontic wire apparatuses.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:28, archived)
Who wouldn't, it would be like having a life-sized posing mannequin
Oh right, you meant still attached to you
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:09, archived)
Unless you'd like to carry around Captain Bag.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

Yeah you totally missed chose to ignore my burn there.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:07, archived)
sorry, I didn't mean to offend you,

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:08, archived)
I think I hear the blaring horn of the Internet White Knight being blown
Too-too!
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:09, archived)
I'm adorable, he can't help wanting to protect me.
Thank you, lovely Max.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:10, archived)
I'm sorry, don't shout at me
I didn't mean it.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
I don't think we can withstand this two pronged attack

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
I've already folded
The massive coward that I am
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:12, archived)
Be nice to me and I'll bribe you with a drink.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
I am nice to you,
now shutup with yer moanin
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
NAW.
You never send me flowers.

Oh, alright then. You are nice, actually. Aw.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:16, archived)
You know you love it, worm.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:11, archived)
How did you know my ex's pet name for me?

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:12, archived)
Your flies are undone, chap.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:13, archived)
Nonsense, I have safety flies
I have to get a grown up just to help me pee
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:14, archived)
Do those really exist?

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:15, archived)
If not, they should
I need something to stop Mr Squinky flopping out when I'm doing things like going to the shop, holding meetings or attending funerals.
(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:17, archived)
I'd be really happy if there was accidental wang at my fineral.

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:22, archived)
I see what you did there

(, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:14, archived)