My ex-girlfriend fell down the stairs and cut her head open
I was there, I called 999, I explained what happened. We got in the ambulance and I was distraught. I didn't push her, no no no, that's not something I'd do. But I did tell them the wrong blood type so she'd know what rejection REALLY feels like.

In other news I sometimes steal jokes off Radio 4 and post them on the internet because nobody listens to radio fucking four.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

And if you think that's shit you best hide this thread.
Because it's all downhill from here.

The other day I was on a train and my mum called me up, I said I'm on a train, she said, eurostar? I said I've been on Trisha but I'm no Graham Norton. Mind you. Jokes aside I don't mind the eurostar. It's murder on the orient express.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

Fucking hell internet, tell me some better jokes.

( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

Why hang out with receptors of old?
I see no use for this.
Unless she hadn't handed over your laundry, etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

Fucking hell. You're a Geordie, you should just talk out loud, that makes me laugh usually.
Even better if you tell a joke. Ant & Dec, they get a lot of stick, but you youtube wonky donkey and tell me you don't piss yourself laughing. You do that and I'll call you a liar. A bald liar who lives with his mum./
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:46, archived)

HAS THE INTERNET HAD SOME FORM OF MUSCLE RELAXANT?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

I'm fed up of being the second best ginger on this website. I want Easty killed.
I don't care about Rob, he's fucking shit in comparison to me, what's he ever done, online.

Don't fuck around, JMG, prove you're a man and wallop a bisexual.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

EASTY'S A FRUIT AND NUT?!
I was not aware of this.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:55, archived)

I keep a handy list, it's called "Reid's LGBT list" and it's written in pink fucking highlighter
Moohalaa is such a horrendous gay I drew a fucking unicorn next to his name. But I shouldn't have. He'll probably kill it because that's what you do on World of Warcraft, you kill unicorns, that's what.

I can't name any others.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

That MCQ, I've heard he's an admirer of the man poultry
He never fucking turns up no more though. What am I supposed to do, look like some billy no mates by naming people who fucking hide from the likes of us these days and the shitness we've become?
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

You're the second best ginger?
I think not.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

You're top of my list of people who happen to be ginger.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

I'm the best ginger ever
it's not open to debate.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

I listen to Radio fucking 4

( in vino veritas, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Middle class. That's what you are. That's what I probably am now. I was a fucking cockney before I found radio 4.
Fucking iplayer.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

I am extremely middle class
raised on The Archers theme tune and gin and tonics before dinner.

Enjoying Radio 4 is the least of my middle class attributes :)
( in vino veritas, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

I bet you make your own bread.

( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:15, archived)