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Today has been a bit rubbish and stressful.
My housemate and I just perfected this dad joke:

Did you ever see that film about the man who gets out of the prisoner of war camp thanks to a fantastic shawl? It's called The Greatest Cape!

What makes the evenings fly by for you?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:34, archived)
Sleeping or a good book
/dull
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:36, archived)
sleeping ON a good book

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:39, archived)
*snuggles under the covers*

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)

it's very good for the spine
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:42, archived)
Oh my...

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:51, archived)
googling for infrared transmitting glass.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:36, archived)
How do you do that? It sounds fascinating!

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:39, archived)
you go to www.google.com
and you type in "infrared transmitting glass".
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)
Smart arse.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)
NO WAI.
I don't know if I could control my bladder if I did that.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:41, archived)
YES WAI
like totally, dude. Infra-RAD.

I also found this
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)

tinyurl.com/muusf5
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:40, archived)
I have to enable javascript?
good god man, they can do better than that.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:41, archived)
You do better than that.
Let us know how you get on.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
I've written in PHP before.
True fact.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)
This means absolutley nothing to me.
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)
haha.
Awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:42, archived)
Sarcastic fucker.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
:O

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)
It's GLASSinating.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:41, archived)
don't start that again

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:41, archived)
No,
just no.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
fanGLASStic

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)
whittling

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:39, archived)
Riveting!

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)
no, there's no rivets involved

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:45, archived)
Shame...

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:46, archived)
several pints down the lion.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
having a drunk lion around the house can't be a good idea

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)
Games
Or rubbish tv or a good book or trying to do all three at the same time.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
Why not read a rubbish book
or watch good TV?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:46, archived)
That is a good point

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:47, archived)
Talking to the bank and them giving me a faahsand paaahnds

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:44, archived)
for house stuff?

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:46, archived)
Yes
It was easy. I rang up, said I'd like a grand and that I'd like to pay it over two years. Lady clicked a little bit on the puter and in less than a minute told me the fund would be in my current account within 24 hours. Good times!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:52, archived)
Me and baby shambles both won on the premium bongs this week.
Which was doubly fortunate as I meant to cash mine in last month but never got around to it.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:47, archived)
Bongs, ey?
ZOMG bad parent.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)
Have you tried patting your head and rubbing your stomach?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)
Why?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)
pg dn

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)
Oh I see
Well, sorry but I can do it and still breathe.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)
Keep trying.
At the very least it'll keep your stubby fingers away from the keyboard.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)
You're a disgrace.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)
Perhaps.
But I'm our disgrace.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)
Cool
Bloke at work has the maximum you can have or something. He always wins something
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)
He needs taking to one side and giving a firm talk on fiscal prudence.
They're a pretty piss-awful investment since they've cut back the prizes because of the interest rates. It's nice to get a cheque from the gubmint though ... it's like being on the dole without being on the dole.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)
he had a massive redundancy a few years ago
I don't think he's that arsed about it growing
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)
I just tried a bit of levitation.
I've worked my way up to almost half a second.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)

levit masturb
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)