Condoms

( SuperMatt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Femidom

( SuperMatt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Diaphragm

( SuperMatt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Clingfilm + Elastic Band

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

Tinfoil if I want to pretend to be a robot when having sex.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

so all the time then?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

95%
Sometimes I sneeze on myself and pretend I'm a slug.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

well, you have to mix it up
or it gets boring
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

Just be careful if I ever sneeze near you, coz that means it's 'Slug TIme'...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

i'm going to cover piston broke in pepper at the chbash
so you'll have to 'slug' him

BWA HA HA
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)

I don't think he's coming
All that happens is he annoys everyone and goes to bed at 9pm, drunk after a sniff of shandy.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

i can't say i'm disappointed
i met him in oxford once

i'll pepper supermatt instead!
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

9PM? That crazy cat.
I'd be tucked up by 8pm, and if any of you bloody kids make any racket, then god help you.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

well duh.

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

dead right
they are excellent for carrying water in.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

And the spermicide adds a nice tang

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

you can get 20 litres in one without it bursting.


(presumably in case you've had a really, really barren spell and when you finally do get to blow your bags you loose off the equivalent of 10 big coke bottles worth of spaff)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

If I ever run out of pertol and have to walk to the nearest station I'll remember to jam the nozzle in my johnny.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)

I filled up my bike for the first time the other day
SIX POUNDS, it cost me. SIX!
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

£6!?!?!? you lucky shit!
Mine is well economical and that's £35 a pop. My mate does £120 a week in petrol and doesn't use his car for work :S
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

I no!
It took all of three seconds to fill up, too. That gives me about 100-140 miles, apparently.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

Don't rotate the nozzle when bored like what I did. It got stuck once for ages and I was trying to tug it out whilst getting strange looks :S

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

haha
I got petrol EVERYWHERE but luckily it evaporated right off.

Then I got home and dropped it and snapped the brake lever off and it spilled everywhere. NOT SO STYLISH NOW.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)