JMG!
What's the good ship misery been at, tonight?
Report in with b3ta's woe.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

THE FOOTBALL.

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I'm going to log out IRL. :(

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

15 minutes?

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

might just go afk irl
*gazes*
( ArthurTheRat, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

I've already phoned my mate in Oxford.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

Wut?
Is that slang for "I'm dying."..?
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

I've just realised I've spent nearly five years on this board.
Five years.
Christ.
( ArthurTheRat, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

Evening, Jammers.
I've not long boarded the good ship. I'm checking out the duty free.
( FoldsFive, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

I trust you're well.

( FoldsFive, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I went swimming and I'm feeling absolutely destroyed...
I've been a busy boy Jammy, my energy levels are flagging.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I was at a BAR in a CAVE.
There were no fatalities.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

good work Jamsworth
I am safe to assume that the only reason nobody died was thanks to your presence.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

At one point there was applause.
I made sure it was aimed in my direction.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Oh JMG.
I am watching The Eagles Of Death Metal tomorrow in a tiny local venue. I want to shout this from the B3ta rooftops. I am very happy with this as they are only playing 3 venues in the UK.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

We've been short staffed in work.
So I'm a busy bee since we go on sale for Summer 2010 tomorrow.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Which travel agent company do you work for?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Due to a recent message from our head office, I'm not allowed to say.
But it rhymes with Chomas Took.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Bollocks. My missus booked us a holiday with Cirst Fhoice and I was hoping you worked for them so you can sneaky upgrade us to a jacuzzi suite.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

It's a good job you didn't book with us.
Three separate people have told me that our company has gone bust, this past week.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Although, I should probably say something disparaging about First Choice here.
The CEO of First Choice (and the TUI Group) molests children.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

That's why we chose them over Thomas Cook.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

I'm sure I could arrange something if you booked your next holiday through us.
By 'us' I of course do not mean Thomas Cook. Because I definately do not work for Thomas Cook.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

Let's just both go on holiday, Jack. We can have that jacuzzi suite I was talking about.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

I've got a 50% discount.
I'd like to remind you that this discount isn't with Thomas Cook, as I don't work for Thomas Cook.

You're going to Mexico, aren't you? Which part? What hotel? This is all a factor in whether or not we go on holiday together.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

Fuckin' A.
To be honest, I'm not sure as my girlfriend booked it kind of without telling me. I think it's Cozumel we're going to but I haven't a clue which resort. All inclusive, woo!
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

You're fine with any part of Mexico.
Just ignore the retards making swine flu jokes, and you'll be grand.

Note that these jokes are made exclusively by old people and middle aged men.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

Cheers dude.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

My anger and rage is rising and boiling up my blood, Jammers.
I'm watching a charming show called BNP Wives
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Have you spotted any of your friends from Monday?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

I realise its a bit of a leap, but they're all cunts.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Not yet...
It was chock full of racists and footie hooligans.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Cheylesmore on a Sunday or the BNP?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Saturday in town.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

OH NO DOUBT FAT WHITE BRITAIN!
Why must you be so ROUGH and live with these men?!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I'm getting VERY ANGRY now JMG.
OFFLINE.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

An [offline] girl I know has made me an [online] Spotify Playlist
I'm sure this has DANGEROUS REPERCUSSIONS.
(__, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Abort; Retry; Fail?

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

i thought this was funny when we last discussed you knocking up your girlfriend so i decided to try again

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

Sadly, no

(__, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

: (

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

You've scared mongychops away you bully.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

How so?
What?

WHAT?
(__, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

I'm a happy bunny.
Saw my girlfriend today, got a free t-shirt and drank some coke.
( Cae1, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

What kind of t-shirt?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

Transformers one.
:D
( Cae1, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

Score!
I've got a French Connection Transformers t-shirt, but I had to pay for it.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

It's like the first good free thing I've ever had.
Yours is probably better methinks.
Did you see the film yet?
( Cae1, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

No, I'm too poor at the moment.
Payday is on Tuesday and my day off is Wednesday so I'll probably see it then, when it's quiet.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

*Cough*
I don't think I need spank that dead donkey.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

I've had 2 hours sleep as iSpong Nano was sick all night

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)