I think Michael Jackson was
murdered!

You wait and see. You heard it here first folks!
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

Ha ha!
"I have told people in no uncertain terms that if Michael one day woke up and he was dead I would not be silent"

That's what you want from a TOP LAWYER MAN
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)

If he woke up.
And he was dead.



What.
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

Aye. That's a sharp legal mind right there!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

I thought I heard him say this on BBC news earlier
But then thought "Oh.. he must mean if he (the lawyer) woke up and he (Jackson) was dead"

But. Hmm. Concerning.
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:06, archived)

The Jackson Family appear to require the services of a competent LAWYERMAN
Even I know that you can't wake up dead. It's a legal impossibility.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)

He could pop a cap in the nonce's arse, just to make sure.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6254819
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

He should have died years ago, but cheated fate.
He died yesterday in a final destination type convoluted sequence of events involving a knife block, a hanging anvil, three types of cheese and his heart failing. DEATH COMES TO US ALL.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

You reminded me that Final Destination 4 is out this Summer :D

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

But it's called "The Final Destination"

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

I'd have called it "4-Nal Destination"

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

Final destination but three.

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

Penultimate Destination

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

It's a prequel, you see

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

Penpenpenultimate Destination!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

oh shit someone scratched milknosugar

(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

ha ha!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

I loved the first one. It all got a bit silly after that.

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

Final Destination 2 was good
The third one was weird.

"Oh. We've cheated death. But I will check each person IN TURN. Whilst there, they'll all die. Whilst I'm there, like."

It just seemed "oh, let's move onto the next person's death". Seemed rushed.
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

the sunbed scene was a cinematic classic

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

ROLLERCOASTER
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xiaNf_BKCM

OF LOVE

Say What

EDIT: Damn. Sounds been taken due to copyright. Still. The sound's not important.
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

Gah, the whole thing is flawed as rhcpaul pointed out to me.
The guy who causes the accident on the rollercoaster by having his camera fall from his hand and onto the track is ushered off the ride, thus meaning the accident wouldn't have happened but still does and GAHHHHHHHH
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

He is a big hairy ruiner!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:04, archived)

Well, yeah, but later on, the coaster breaks anyway when some of the rail falls off
Hang on, am I really arguing the logistics of Final Destination?

Fuck
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:05, archived)