i am trying to write a book before i die of cancer.
what do you think so far?
imgur.com/5dkGc.gif

lolol i kid i kid, i can't be fucked writing a book before i die.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

I think you should write a book in the style of a sad dog.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

His voice should sound like Mr T in your head.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

As long as you die.
That's the important bit.
Remember, die.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

Where did you find that?
It's given me the urge to kill.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

doesnt take much does it
you would make a awful critic
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:04, archived)

You're an apostrophe short;
please wait while I fetch the clamps.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)

For teh lulz
www.b3ta.com/links/Daves_Magic_Mix
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

if you do finish it
could I have a first edition as it would be worth a fortune once you go all eurrrggghhhhhhhhhhh
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

wow, it's like 'regular poster on /talk' wrote a book!

( well, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)

i am actually in the process of researching a book,
but i'm not going to bang on about it on HERE, until, of course, i do.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:05, archived)

wonderful

( well, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)

it's about the history of crisps and snacks,
if you must know.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)

will it be like the 'nicecupoftea...' book but more savoury?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:10, archived)

not at all.
it is to be a dense historical tome.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:13, archived)

will it be leather bound?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)

depends

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)

i only buy leather bound books because they go with the sofa

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:21, archived)

doesn't really sound relevant to my interests

( well, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)

that hurts to read
:o(
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)

that be cancer of the eyes

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:04, archived)

sweet cuntfucking jesus.
that can't really be a published book, right? say it ain't so...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)

it's an l ron hubbard

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:07, archived)

I don't know whether this should surprise me or not.
I mean, I always imagined his science fiction would be a bit rubbish, but I'd never taken the man to be semi-literate. You don't get to be a famous author by having the writing standard of a 10-year-old, do you?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)

I actually read all 10 battlefield earth books
not that bad but accidently started reading the scientology book by mistake as I thought it was book 11.

gave up as it was bollocks.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:21, archived)

it's actually kind of interesting
in a "look at the progression of this guy's mentals" kind of way.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)

I started reading the Dianetics book
had to stop as it was making me very angry.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)

really?
you're taking the piss, right?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:15, archived)

I've got Dianetics, and it's piss boring,
but at least if it was handed in to a primary school teacher, you wouldn't get it back again with a list of corrections to do.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:17, archived)

afraid not

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:19, archived)

dear God.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

It's everything that's wrong with self-publishing.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)

I just got stung on the bottom of my foot by a motherfucking bee!
Why was there a bee on my bedroom floor? Oh well, it's dead now lol.

Silly bee.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)

This would be a far better opening paragraph than any of those in the above.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)

I've just about had enough of these MOTHERFUCKING BEES in this MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOM.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:16, archived)

bees on the floor
with samuel jackson
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)

You could try
racing bikes.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)

oh man it's like it's the late nineties all over again

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:07, archived)

How did he get his leg over in the first place?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)

he found someone equally repulsive and racist who wouldn't mind.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:09, archived)

Oh Nick Griffin you scamp.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)

he just stood there and they built the bike under him

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:11, archived)

by using this
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:11, archived)

or this
www.just-patient-lifters.com/ALTON.gif
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)

hahahaha WEEEE! I want one :'(

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:18, archived)

well it's only 365 days until your birthday!

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

YAY no wait....
D:
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

what BIRFDEE SHENANIGANS have you got planned, deeg?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:26, archived)

I was reading that and thinking 'oh hey, this is pretty normal' then BAM, IT'S 2048
MIND BLOWN
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:11, archived)

the original series of transformers is set in 2005!

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

THAT'S IN THE PAST

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:22, archived)

MAYBE ONE OF US IS A ROBOT

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)

BEEP DO NOT BE RIDICULOUS FELLOW MEAT CREATURE

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:25, archived)

change the spelling of cheral

( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:23, archived)

Bloody hell
how did that even get published?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:27, archived)

you posted it

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)

The publisher thought it was brilliant.
The publisher was also the author, of course...
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)

*head in hands*

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)