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the colossal danger wank.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:31, archived)
which is...

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:33, archived)
When you
shout downstairs "MUM! DAD! HEEELP ME! QUICKLY!" and try and spunk before your parents run into the room.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:35, archived)
well, any dangerwank
but with higher levels of danger. Wanking whilst presenting newsnight. Wanking during a conference call. Wanking during sunday lunch with the vicar. That kind of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:39, archived)
Wanking during sunday lunch with the vicar.
That's not a danger wank, that's practically expected.
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:40, archived)
Maybe with YOUR vicar.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:41, archived)
what about wanking while walking a tightrope over a crocodile pit?

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:46, archived)
Hmmm.
Certainly in the ballpark. I think, strictly, the activity itself needs to be fairly risk-free, such that the danger comes solely from the masturbatory element. But it's not an exact science, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:48, archived)
OK
What about a businessman twist on the old 'shouting downstairs to your mum' one?

Pressing the stewardess call button on a business class flight and trying to time it just right so that you can clean up with the hot towel.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:52, archived)
hahaha. cunt.
it's a good job i'd already finished my tea or it would be new laptop time.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:56, archived)
How about wanking when on a random picture website?
"Tits....tits....arse....tits....tits....SPLATTERED CAT!...tits..."
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:51, archived)
This, I believe, is the classic "random shuffle" dangerwank

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:56, archived)