oh , you know. all of it.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:08, archived)

*Hugs*
Is it too late to change?
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:09, archived)

it's not so bad really.
I'm just tired of falling to bits, physically and mentally.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:12, archived)

:-(
What you need is a severe course of getting the fuck away from it all for some proper R'n'R.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:15, archived)

got a cruise coming up in April with a girlfriend. and have been promised lots of free spa treatments.
it's all good, baby.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:27, archived)

Excellent work there.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:35, archived)

how many fingers am i holding up?
*\m/*

that's quite a bit of morphine..
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:17, archived)

twelve and a half.
see? I'm fine. Now, pass my car keys - I'm fine to drive home.

*walks into wall*
*goes to sleep on carpet*
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:25, archived)

haha
just don't take any calls on your drive home
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:38, archived)

And those blue and red flashing lights do not mean you've found a rave either.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:41, archived)

if they're firemen
it might do
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:48, archived)

firemen?
*adjusts surgical stockings and hitches gown up a bit*
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:52, archived)

don't forget the sexy sexy canulars
and the alluring paper hospital slippers
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:54, archived)

I had to get three in my arm the night I went in to the hospital to get a broken ankle diagnosed.
Considering I'd been walking around on a broken ankle for four days, it didn't hurt that much.

Bastards still didn't give me anything good though.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:02, archived)

eugh canulars
they were the bane of my life because they never lasted more than a few hours
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:05, archived)

The first one they put in was crimped in about three different places and was rendered unuseable
due to me bending my arm so much.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:08, archived)

Last time I had an op was in the nhs hospital.
my canular fell out at 2am and it took seventeen attempts to get a new one in.

seventeen.

/canula top trumps
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:14, archived)

If we're playing
Christmas Eve, junior doctor attempting to put in another canula but finding no veins. Eventually threw it down and stormed out of the room saying he refused to do this. Came back and asked me did I want it in the scalp or the breastbone.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:17, archived)

I hope you said "In the arm, like you're supposed to, you whinging little berk".

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:18, archived)

Couldn't speak
so he went for the feet, and then the direct chest one
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:20, archived)

fucking hell. what a choice.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:21, archived)

Just what everyone likes to hear
He was very upset though.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:22, archived)

he should man up
and just go for the scalp.. that's what i do when i unload

/brings the tone down
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:39, archived)

Just to play along.
Had lots of operations within my first year of life (no cool scars though) and also racked up a considerable number of hospital hours by the age of 4.

Haven't been up at the hospital too often since, though when I have, it was mostly for busted fingers.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:28, archived)

I'm afraid you just can't play at our level
you bastard
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:29, archived)

Slammed my pinkie finger in a big heavy house door when I was 9 or 10 and ripped the fingernail off.
Right at the start of the summer, meaning I couldn't go swimming on our yearly holiday.

Fast forward a year and I bust my index finger by knocking a rock onto it and splitting it, meaning I couldn't go swimming yet again. :-(
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:43, archived)

Either they were sampling some of the pharmacy or they were retards.
Of course it could be option 3, which is shit veins, in which case you'd be an awful junkie.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:17, archived)

did you ask if they'd tried it on anything
other than an orange?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:30, archived)

how's the morphine?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:19, archived)

pretty fucking awesome.
I'm glad it makes me throw up though, in a way. otherwise i'd take it up as a hobby.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:23, archived)

Have you been on morphine before?
It's a bitch to get off it, I couldn't sleep for a couple of nights and had really twitchy legs.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:29, archived)

yup. Had 5 ops in just over 2 years.
oh those twitchy legs. and let's not discuss the constipation, hey?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:30, archived)

Oh dear yes.
They sent me home with a bottle, which I haven't touched yet. I might see how it mixes with gin....
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:32, archived)

they did?!
i'll buy it off you for a pack of jaffa cakes
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:35, archived)

Fuck that.
I'll cater your next dinner party single handed for some of that.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:36, archived)

A bidding war.
Excellent!
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:38, archived)

Done.
I'd much rather have jaffa cakes when I'm not in pain.

Actually, I think there were 2 x 10ml doses taken out when I had my first two dressings changed. I did think it was a little irresponsible of them to give me a whole bottle though.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:37, archived)

They probably decided that you were sensible enough not to cane it.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:44, archived)

as we all know anything written on talk
is legally binding
your jaffa cakes are in the mail
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:46, archived)

Read the update dude.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 3:47, archived)

oh
i thought you wanted jaffa cakes too
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 7 Jan 2011, 4:03, archived)