Not so serious question time
How are you?


lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 13:48, archived)

Trying and failing to get my dad in a care home lols

( mongychops, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 13:51, archived)

he's refusing, or you can't find one?
I'm dreading this shit myself - plus every cunt in my entire immediate family seems to have me as will executor, might die young to dodge the responsibility
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 13:55, archived)

The council have to be involved and dr , because the council have to pay towards it too its cheaper to let him rot at home, and all drs are shit

( mongychops, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 13:57, archived)

how utterly depressing
does he have home care visits etc or is he properly on his own here?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:01, archived)

3 visits a day , at 4 o'clock yesterday I found him stuck on the commode covered in shit down to his feet , as I said to him oh dad you've mcbeefed yourself

( mongychops, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:16, archived)

that's awful man
no-one should have to mcbeef themselves, it's no way to live
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:29, archived)

S
M
E
G
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 13:52, archived)

so very true
you're only saying what we're all thinking
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 13:56, archived)

th st
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 13:59, archived)

making soup
vast fucking quantities of the stuff, huge pan so we'll be eating the interminable gloop for days so 1) nobody needs to cook again for a while and b) someone else will cook the next time so we're not on a soup-based diet for ages.

Also my farts are pretty horrid right now anyway, this won't help matters.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 13:57, archived)

I've got so little going on in my life that I've just created a shared Google doc daily meal planner
The idea is to clear out the freezer instead of constantly buying new stuff.

This is very sad indeed, I am well aware...
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:01, archived)

that's saaaaaad

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:06, archived)

You could connect it to a webcam
actually inside the freezer so the eager public can follow your consumption of Iceland basics pizzas
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:49, archived)

sounds relaxing

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:51, archived)

we have one duck leg, which came as part of a Meat Box from her sister
no idea what to do with it, too much faff to make Chinese duck when you've only got one of them, I reckon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:05, archived)

confit?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:06, archived)

I thought about that but again, can I really be arsed if there's just one leg there?
I suppose it would make a nice starter, could shred it into a little salad
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:19, archived)

warm duck salad with walnuts and green apple

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:23, archived)

someone suggested Portuguese duck rice which I'd never heard of, it looks great

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:29, archived)

Go for it

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 17:24, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLGUXjfF-eI
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 18:01, archived)

Divide it up, since one of them are both the same
infinite food, like jesus
(dribble, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 18:46, archived)

mmm, warm Jesus and walnuts

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 19:01, archived)

aye, tired oot, been delivering Zoom training sessions for the last two weeks, it's farkin draining yo

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:07, archived)

much better now
still not sorted, but she's managed to get a couple of other debts postponed for a few days, so she's still moving out today. once she's gone, that's it, not my responsibility. i believe a drunkening is in order.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:40, archived)

I would say so

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 14:55, archived)

i can't wait for tomorrow morning
waking up in my own house, on my own, just me and the cat. no drama, no tantrums, no fucking beyonce. bliss.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:03, archived)

relieved compared to earlier
the neighbours spent the entire morning chainsawing something

chainsawing ffs
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:12, archived)

Very Ted Bundy.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:26, archived)

Bundy didn't use a chainsaw m8, soz to be the bearer

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:37, archived)

That is bad news

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:39, archived)

m8, soz to be the bearer cutting women's heads off, with a saw
(dribble, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:43, archived)

he used knives and hacksaws

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:48, archived)

Meaning he wasn't a nuisance to his neighbours

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:54, archived)

plus, the blood would have fucked the electrics

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:54, archived)

Oh come now
if ever there's was the perfect time for petrol-powered tools, it's when cutting up bodies.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:34, archived)

I just bought a printer
what with other half not being able to print at work at the moment and me not going into the office we've had to relent and buy one. It feels so last millennium...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:25, archived)

Looking through endless folders to see if a morphine worksheet has been filed by mistake,
despite strongly suspecting that either it's on my boss's bombsite of a desk or that QA have lost it.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 15:54, archived)

proofreading and approving a website
It's so riddled with basic grammatical and spelling errors that it makes me wonder if English is their first language.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:21, archived)

b3ta, you mean.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:24, archived)

it's like it was written by psychochomp

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:33, archived)

Some of it was

(dribble, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 17:37, archived)

for someone who can't be bothered using capital letters when i'm not on my phone
that shit makes me quite irrationally angry
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:27, archived)

nothing irrational about it imho

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:30, archived)

lol, "i'm a ho"

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:35, archived)

lol are you?
Haha, I have turned it around so now it looks like it is in fact *you* who is a professional sex worker!!!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 17:08, archived)

haha, what a fool I look right now!

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 17:37, archived)

haha, the master 'troll' has struck again, 'on the internet'!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 17:58, archived)

there are no words to express how 'upset' I am

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 18:02, archived)

We use Site Improve
which finds all the broken links and misspelled words. Fucking hell, it's the app of shame I tell you. I'm typo-prone myself but the stuff that's found its way into our content over the years is shameful.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Mar 2021, 16:35, archived)