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good afternoon, knobber's
having a good day? I'm just sat here sweating my tits off in my loft, waiting for a fackin zoom-o with the warehouse and dreading an update about the plumbing in my flat. Now the bog's started leaking too ffs
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 13:44, archived)

you could say that your bog is taking a leak!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 13:46, archived)
I could say a lot of things but you wouldn't like most of them

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 13:50, archived)
'Hi, I'm Queef Richard's, you know, off the internet, and I'm going to post on b3ta!'
You mean things like that?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:06, archived)
I was going to post something
but I think I'll just grab some popcorn and listen to you two argue again
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:14, archived)
We do have a right argument here don’t we

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:26, archived)
no we don't

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:28, archived)
He’s behind you!

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:29, archived)
ah, that's where garidead is!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:33, archived)
shut up m8

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 19:57, archived)
If I see another "Your teammates are trying to reach you in Microsoft Teams" email
imma stab a bitch
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:29, archived)
Just had to send something to Fudstone Drive
/almost funny streetname corner
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:43, archived)
you're a fuckin fud mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:45, archived)
Aye, takes one to know one though!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 14:59, archived)
oh, you've really got me there with the old thinly-disguised 'i no u r but wat am i lol'!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:19, archived)
I win this round, but I'm sure you'll come back swinging next time!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:28, archived)
aye, you're definitely round alright, you fat wanker

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:33, archived)
You're being very nasty to me today :(

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:15, archived)
you started it

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:22, archived)
Is there some comedy web forum bullying going on here? Would you like to contact the mods?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 20:01, archived)
MODS

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 20:02, archived)
Well that’s that sorted.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 20:02, archived)
Liverpool has been stripped of its UNESCO World Heritage status
*cries northwestern England style*
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky โ˜น๏ธโž๐Ÿšปโž๐Ÿšฝโž๐Ÿ˜ฃโž๐Ÿ’ฉโž๐Ÿงปโž๐Ÿ˜, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:04, archived)
Not sure how we got it in the first place, tbh

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:33, archived)
what's obsessed with grief and lives off dead beetles?
The city of Liverpool.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:53, archived)
Yep. Don't understand it.

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:04, archived)
If I was the plumber and it's an easy fix I'd do the toilet free

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:13, archived)

the toilet a big dump in queef's u-bend for
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:18, archived)

and it's an easy fix I'd do the toilet free but then again, no
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:17, archived)
I can't help but think he must have caused it when fannying about behind the bath
it's right next to it. No problems for 5 years and the day after a plumber visits...leak. Impossible to prove, mind
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:38, archived)
That can happen when looking for a leak, you check everything. See if loose, know a bit of scale of, starts dripping

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 17:19, archived)
thought as much

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 17:45, archived)
I'm running out of ice pops

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 15:34, archived)
now there's a good idea

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:17, archived)
Lidl's Spanish grub week is supposed to mean that they have blood orange lollies
Unfortunately Greek week was an utter failure so the freezers are still full of frozen moussakas and spinach puffs, the fucking wankers

The good news is that today is bin ends day, meaning a huge pile of plonk was going for ยฃ3.99 a pop, including English sparkling which goes for ยฃ13-14. I picked up as much as I could carry and am tempted to go back. The checkout dude looked appalled lol
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:41, archived)
who eats moussaka in July though?
I bet even the Greeks don't
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:46, archived)
No-one round here, that's for sure. Of all the 'eastern med' cuisines, Greek is the least good, from my experience
Great seafood of course but on the whole it seems to me that it's like a slightly lame and far more limited version of Turkish. Happy to be proven wrong though. That said, char-grilled octopus with a squeeze of lemon - fackin lavly
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:55, archived)
grilled octopus is indeed lush

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 17:11, archived)
I had octopus carpaccio in southern Italy on my honeymoon - jesus fucking christ it was amazing

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 17:27, archived)
I won't eat it ever, disgusting

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 18:14, archived)
Yeah, I got some of the breadsticks
Was tempted to get the musky octopus, but it's not as good as fresh
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 17:59, archived)
their white anchovies are fantastic in salads, very mild and very tasty

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 18:07, archived)
My hernia is killing me, and I'm sweating like a priest in a playground
I'm sure there are other things I could complain about, but I cannot be bothered
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:18, archived)
There’s always b3ta

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:31, archived)
h3rnia

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:38, archived)
$oro$

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 16:42, archived)
I am drunk and suddenly felt the need to lick my remote control

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jul 2021, 21:56, archived)