ugh
my chances are 100% I'm going to survive another day. what have I done to deserve this?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 8:12, archived)

Oh come now, literally nobody is ever at 100% on that front.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 8:13, archived)

He is Woodkovsky of the Clan Kovsky, born in 1518 in Novogorod on the shores of Lake Ilmen
- and he is immortal, or summat
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 8:36, archived)

There's still a non-zero possibility of someone chopping his head off with a sword before midnight.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 8:41, archived)

I do have a sword

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 8:45, archived)

That's not a sword
- THIS IS A SWORD
*heaves 2 m steel plank into view*
*falls over*
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 8:46, archived)

And my axe

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 8:53, archived)

You're not having it back

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 9:05, archived)

I heard he was a well-known drug dealer, so the rozzers were basically cool with it.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 5 Jun 2023, 9:25, archived)

ooh, nice callback.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 5 Jun 2023, 9:49, archived)

DEALER DECAPITATION IS PROHIBITED BY THE COUNCIL

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 Jun 2023, 9:55, archived)