I got a very sad email today,
the American man with the same name as me got turned down for a job at Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle.

Edit:thought I was replying, have a new thread anyway.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 12:49, archived)

Ah shit, I was hoping to get that
Nevermind, the footy starts soon
( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 12:56, archived)

What is Dr Terry Moore's favourite kind of dog?
A shih tzu [shit zoo]!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 13:02, archived)

How can I get an email account?
Apparently all the cool kids have them
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 13:17, archived)

You need to delete your b3ta account first

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 13:34, archived)

+ kill yourself

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:21, archived)

I am now legally dead
And planning on a career as a telly doctor
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:34, archived)

You could try your hand at anything

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:56, archived)

Done!!

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:33, archived)

I once got a follow-up email for a meeting I'd apparently had regarding my farmland in Australia
I plan to retire there, I'll turn up clutching a printout of the email, they'll legally have to give me the farm then, probably
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 13:59, archived)

it'll be overrun by camels, you know who to call

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:16, archived)

Camelbusters!

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:25, archived)

bust knobb
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 11 Jun 2024, 20:38, archived)

ok but it sounds like i've wasted a lot of money and heartache on kangaroo judo
kangarudo
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:26, archived)

kangarudo, maybe yours will kick your face off

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:27, archived)

haha i just edited and here you were when the page refreshed. Fuck you hedgy.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:30, archived)

Seriously though, have you ever seen one up close in real life?
Those fuckers are ripped.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:41, archived)

yeah they're in the list of animals that are much more disturbing up close, see also raccoons, most monkeys

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 18:49, archived)

kangaroo dilbaro

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 15:29, archived)

Badir Al-Wallabi

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 15:33, archived)

Kangaroo Josh

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 15:36, archived)

Kangaroo Judo
Nibbles the rice in the church
Where the wedding has been lives in a dream
Jumps through the window
Wearing the face that it keeps in
A jar by the door who is it for?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:30, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 14:53, archived)

This Morning with Kangaroo Judo

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Jun 2024, 15:23, archived)