i haven't watched the news for nearly two years
all news. including newspapers, news websites. i didn't even know who the prime minister was until someone told me,

it's made me a much happier person.
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:10, archived)

I'm selective but there's an awful lot of shit I don't hear or see and I'm happy with that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:13, archived)

have you ever seen a man climb up his own nose?

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:20, archived)

i've tried chewing my own head off hth

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 17:24, archived)

suck my cock

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 17:29, archived)

I'm having my mouth sewn shut as i type this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 19:16, archived)

I'm prime minister now.
Bow down, peasants.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:24, archived)

my liege!

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:27, archived)

Prostate yourselves before me!
Or do I mean prostrate? No, definitely prostate.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:31, archived)

oh yeah i'm really feeling it
jesus christ
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:45, archived)

I'm the fucking president
You are mine, mine mine
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:37, archived)

Wanna invade Iraq together?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 17:45, archived)

Bin there, dunnit
North Korea or Iran
Or Antarctica
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:21, archived)

Let’s fuck them penguins up.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:31, archived)