Thread Stomping that needy spastic off the board
April Fools - please gas yourself
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 1 Apr 2025, 18:03, Reply)

In truth, we’re all needy spastics on here.
And is any one of us really that much better than another?

Yes, is the answer. Demonstrably yes.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 18:14, Reply)

AaaaaAAAaaaarrrrRARRrrrrrdddVVVvvaaAAAAArrrrrrrrRRRRrrrkkkkk!!

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 18:19, Reply)

:D

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 18:26, Reply)

Yeah, there's only a few people who are so bad you feel compelled to sing it to the tune of the Hallelujah Chrous.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 1 Apr 2025, 18:30, Reply)

Chrous

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 1 Apr 2025, 18:36, Reply)

Oh you know what I meant.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 1 Apr 2025, 19:34, Reply)

one more tmie

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:02, Reply)

I quite like the festal events of the first half of the year
they're about fun and hope. poissons d'avril, a chance to be foolish. great. the boat race, where there's an outside chance that some poshos might fall in off the bank and drown. if that's not about hope I don't know what is. the clocks going forwards. even that's a laugh, look at how silly time is, it's not even real (apart from to the cooker and the car)
( vladimir, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 18:52, Reply)

nice to pretend for a while that there's only up, up, up, and hang spring cleaning, before the second half events bring in the inevitable collapse into despair and decay
( vladimir, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 18:55, Reply)

my cooker hasn't even got a clock on it
appliance of science my arse
( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 19:14, Reply)

but how does it know what time it is?
do you have to tell it every time you go in the kitchen
( vladimir, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 19:18, Reply)

I just say "Yo Chuck, show these people what time it is, boyeeee!!!"
and he does. It's great, you should try it.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 1 Apr 2025, 19:36, Reply)

STOP
summertime
( vladimir, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:39, Reply)

i have to get a clock off the wall and show it to the oven before i cook anything
it's deaf as a fucking post
( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 19:37, Reply)

ahahahaha

( vladimir, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:38, Reply)

I prefer autumn
Golden leaves, mellow days, a relaxed time between the frenetic energy of summer and the cold and dark of winter
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 19:54, Reply)

ah yeah. golden sun, moonlit skies, drunken wasps.

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 19:59, Reply)

They're more belligerent
But they can't sting straight
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:11, Reply)

yeah I used to feel similar when young and full of vigour
I indulged myself in melancholy, never truly believing that it would enfold me in its cobwebbed arms. now, old and grouchy, I revel in the saprising springtimes of others, hoping to drain some of their life force. living up to my name
( vladimir, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:42, Reply)

If this is a Vlad the Impaler reference
Vlad was short for Vladislav, not Vladimir
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:54, Reply)

can't believe I've run into a pedantpire this early in the evening :(

( vladimir, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:57, Reply)

i no rite?

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:58, Reply)

anyway that vlad is just an impale imitation of me

( vladimir, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 23:12, Reply)

you ruinous bastard

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 1 Apr 2025, 20:57, Reply)