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Why are Evri so consistently shit and dishonest?
How do you establish and maintain a business that everyone agrees is terrible?
Isn't it weird that I can see and hear Royal Mail deliveries, but not Evri?
Are Evri drivers all trained in Ninjitsu? If so, why?
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 15:18, archived)
you could say a nice thing that happened or that you like, for balance

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 15:48, archived)
That assumes any such things ever happen to him.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:09, archived)
Nice things happen to me every day,
as my life is full of joy and merriment.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:17, archived)
You hide it well

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:18, archived)
You don't want to be too nice, friendly, sincere or pleasant on /talk though, where would it end?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:24, archived)
Fair point

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:26, archived)
Thanks, you skull-faced crucible of joylessness, you.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:39, archived)
Okay fine (for sure, for sure)
I've been watching a channel I just found on youtube where this obsessed muso dissects a single Zappa song at great length, going into excruciating detail on every note of every phrase wrt music theory, techniques, influences/references, etc. Really deep analysis that always seems grounded in reality unlike most music appreciation bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:10, archived)
do you not think appreciation is grounded in reality? what is it grounded in then?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:24, archived)
Musical appreciation often vanishes up its own bottom,
because it is so often a large collection of meaningless woolly statements in support of a deliberately incomprehensibly worded grand premise designed to promote the intellectual superiority of the author by baffling their audience with clever sounding nonsense that illuminates nothing.

A lot like theology, in fact.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:31, archived)
i don't reckon that person on the channel you mentioned would do that analysis unless they first experienced deep appreciation, what do you reckon?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:43, archived)
I reckon you're relaying this through chatgpt.
I assume you're trying some Socratic questioning techniques in an attempt to make fun of me. It would work better if you demonstrated more comprehension, hence the chatgpt comparison.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:50, archived)
I'd just like to say I agree with you both
and also that Rumours is an absolute banger of an album, isn't it
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:57, archived)

??
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 17:13, archived)
oh lololol
HE PUT HIS BALLS ON THE ALBUM COVER
absolute queen shit, ngl
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 19:15, archived)
mick fleetwood holds his mouth wide open when he plays drums, it's weird

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 19:28, archived)
I expect it helps to make it all echo a bit more

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 19:30, archived)
No m8.
The old F1 theme is a banger. The rest of the album is just guff.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 17:36, archived)
I'm going to have to give a view on this in full shortly, but for now
dmmm,dm-dm-dm-dm-dm-dmmmmmmm
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 19:32, archived)
Rumours: full review
...
1. Second Hand News

OK fair enough this one is a bit rubbish

2. Dreams

Brilliant. "dreams of loneliness." oof. That chorus with its drums coming in like thunder exactly in step with the lyrics.

3. Never Going Back Again

Bit too Incredible String Band Painting Box for me. Should have charming stop-motion animation mice in waistcoats trundling around throughout its runtime.

4. Don't Stop

Makes a profound point. Very good.

5. Go Your Own Way

Obviously a banger for the ages. Quite funny how it got used as a "be free, spend money!!" anthem in adverts when actually it's a song about "well do you know what, fuck you. I hope you die alone."

6. Songbird

"And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before, like never before"

Oh come the fuck on. Deceptively simple. Beautiful.

7. The Chain

A perfect distillation of the 70s. If you boiled the entirety of the 70s down for a thousand years this would be what you'd get at the end of the process. An infinitely refined and perfect gemstone of 70sness.

8. You Make Loving Fun

Do you tho. Do you.

Please note, Mick Fleetwood opens his mouth ALL THE WAY when he plays drums

9. I Don't Want to Know

See 1. above.

10. Oh Daddy

Moody and spare and rather lovely.

11. Gold Dust Woman

Terrific no notes.

In summary: superlative work. sorry brb.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 12:44, archived)
Wrong.
1: unmemorable guff
2: unmemorable guff
3: unmemorable guff
4: unmemorable guff
5: memorable guff
6: unmemorable guff
7: banger*
8: unmemorable guff
9: unmemorable guff
10: unmemorable guff
11: unmemorable guff

*It's not a distillation of the 70s though. There is no funk, no soul, no techno, no punk, no prog, no reggae, no jazz, no disco, no Eurovision, no St. Winifred School Choir, no Blaster Bates, no liver and onions, no avocado coloured carpet up the side of a bath... It's the F1 theme. That's why it's special.

Like that 1 good Eagles tune, it's only good because it was the HHGTTG theme.

Fleetwood Mac ceased to be a good band when their best songwriter and guitarist went mad and fucked off. Same with the most overrated band in the world, Pink Floyd. One good album, genius fucks off, rest of the band carry on being soul-crushingly dull.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 15:09, archived)
Thought it worth adding
that John Patrick 'Pugwash' Weathers is a far more orgasmic drummer (in that he appears to be having massive orgasms as he plays). Terry Bozzio too. I'd rate both those drummers much higher than Mick Fleetwood. Definitely worth researching the relationship between gormless playing, orgasmic playing, and rhythmic quality.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 15:44, archived)
laughing here in a good way at both of the above, thank you brb

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 18:50, archived)
to be absolutely honest though
my principal interests include researching the relationship between orgasmic posting and rhythmic quality
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 18:53, archived)
no just chatting, I don't even know any Greek

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 18:14, archived)
I bet you do though ydob.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 18:20, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8401412
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 5 Apr 2025, 17:05, archived)
*slap bass*

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 17:08, archived)
Evri time!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 15:51, archived)
i cri :(

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 15:52, archived)
I’m going to assume these are all rhetorical questions
and therefore don’t need or even warrant an answer.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 15:52, archived)
When do you plan on doing that?
Not to hurry you or anything, take your time.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:15, archived)
Well now you're just taking the piss.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 20:11, archived)
…aaaaaaand done.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 11:09, archived)
Evri are pretty good round here
It’s the Amazon drivers that are shit, if you don’t teleport to your door within 3 nanoseconds of them ringing the bell they start getting angry. Wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 15:59, archived)
Serves you right for using Amazon.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:12, archived)
Well, quite

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:18, archived)
We need British/EU alternatives to all these American parasite companies.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:45, archived)
Prince Andrew

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 19:19, archived)
Does he sell books online now?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 20:11, archived)
Probably the same parent company as DPD,
a.k.a. the muppets who made me take an entire day off work so they could deliver my mattress and then were unable to find my house, and didn't tell me. Customer service? What's that?
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:02, archived)
Oh yeah, mattress deliveries never arrive on the right day.
A lesson I once learned the hard way. Always keep your old mattress until the new one arrives.

DPD suck shitty balls too.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:14, archived)
The worst part was when I ended up telling them to deliver it to my office
and I found out it was compact enough that I could have taken it home by myself.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:46, archived)
Ooh one of them podcast mattresses! Fancy.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 17:34, archived)
always get quite tearful watching the grand national
obviously the horrible sinking feeling that somebody's going to get shot. but also I think of watching it long ago with my grandparents, I think of them and their lives and that I miss them and their world a lot. broadway boy and three card brag show the too-big fences a clean pair of hooves in the april sunshine and the circle is traversed, the long years are a small loop in time
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:07, archived)
Don't worry, it sounds like you'll be dead soon too.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:11, archived)
everything crossed here brb x

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:12, archived)
Imagine if a similar proportion of runners died in the London Marsthon

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 17:32, archived)
It's fun to imagine isn't it.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 18:00, archived)
it is a long way to mars

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 18:10, archived)
Doddle
I've done a Tough Mudder.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 20:22, archived)
ahahahahaha oh god

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 19:16, archived)