I'd like to see him try to burn a thousand trees with one match, the fucking prick

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 12:12, archived)

Smokey Bear is a fascist by the way
manifesto
"Only you can prevent wildfires" - the victim-blaming starts here
Keir Starmer picked up his dry leaves for him
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 13:04, archived)

I think I should be able to avoid starting wildfires myself, not sure if I have the power to prevent everyone/everything else from starting one though

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 13:52, archived)

not with that attitude you won't

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 13:54, archived)

I'm manifesting a burning forest right now

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:05, archived)

minferno, maniforesting

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:08, archived)

Smokey Bear don't take kindly to that kind of talk

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 13:58, archived)

"In 2022, 87% of wildfires were caused by humans."
Remember, #OnlyYou can prevent 87% of wildfires!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:08, archived)

The aim is to get it to 100% of wildfires caused by humans, then we can prevent them all!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:10, archived)

In all seriousness though,
Smokey Bear being a fascist is the only reasonable explanation for why DOGE didn't have him shot and stuffed.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:11, archived)

Musk in a furry suit you say??
The hat is wrong but the rest adds up.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:14, archived)

Why has he got a bulging crotch? :(
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smokey_Bear#/media/File:Smokey_Bear_sign_at_Mulholland_entrance_to_Runyon_Canyon_Park,_Los_Angeles,_California,_USA.png
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:20, archived)

"Wildfires give me the fucking horn"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:21, archived)

"They only way to curb my tumescence is by whacking it with this shovel"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 14:27, archived)

Feels like a lot of responsibility but if Smokey Bear says I have to turn vigilante and start hunting down arsonists then who am I to argue?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 17:22, archived)

What kind of crime using matches is often committed by pirates?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 19:01, archived)

laaarrrrrrrrrceny

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 21:08, archived)

fuck

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 23:45, archived)