I feel like posting that has somehow cancelled out all the sex I've ever had...

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 23 Jun 2026, 15:39, Reply)

I went to see a late night showing of Fellowship when it came out.
I was with a female friend, and she was definitely in the minority. There were two Tolkien nerds behind us who had clearly paid to be upset about how unfaithful it was to the book. I asked them to pipe down a bit at the start when Galadriel's voice-over mentioned "the creature Gollum" ["The CREATURE?!?" one of them exclaimed, incredulously].

At the end, as the credits said "based on..." one of them yelled "based LOOSELY on the book by JRR Tolkien!"

tl;dr: even if all your sex has been cancelled out, it's still more than they ever had.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 23 Jun 2026, 16:03, Reply)

Heh, they sound as bad as the Dr Who nerds.
There are things I think PJ got wrong with the films, but on the whole they're pretty good.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 23 Jun 2026, 16:16, Reply)

Yeah, the Two Towers lost it a bit for an hour or two but otherwise they were decent adaptations.
Not including the Hobbit films, which were... unnecessary.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 23 Jun 2026, 16:25, Reply)

I have deliberately avoided seeing those.
I understand the source material feels thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 23 Jun 2026, 16:42, Reply)

I reckon there's a passable movie there if you combine them, but as it stands they're bloated and the embellishments are tone-deaf
J R R Rowling
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 23 Jun 2026, 16:52, Reply)

There are apparently some fan edits that do a decent job of this.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 23 Jun 2026, 17:37, Reply)

You're on minus sex at this point
Also: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh70r9MXAvY
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 23 Jun 2026, 17:41, Reply)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 23 Jun 2026, 17:43, Reply)

fan'i's, maybe yours will have sex

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 23 Jun 2026, 17:59, Reply)

Howling, HOWLING

( vladimir it's ironic bcs in real life I'm an absolute cunt, Tue 23 Jun 2026, 19:02, Reply)

you feeling every single erotic experience you've ever been blessed with being erased from your mind like marty mcfly watching himself fade out of the picture on the fretboard, screaming WHAT BASTARD DID THIS TO ME
( vladimir it's ironic bcs in real life I'm an absolute cunt, Tue 23 Jun 2026, 19:05, Reply)