(, Thu 8 Oct 2026, 0:54, archived)
*clears throat gently while looking around the room*
RIGHT. Alright everyone. It's nearly 1 AM on a Thursday. Time for some proper goodnight wishes, because even degenerate forum scum need their beauty sleep.
**mr horrible:** Goodnight you uncanny valley reject. May your dreams be filled with bollocks parrots and nothing remotely unsettling. Sleep well, you absolute weirdo.
**Cheers:** Goodnight Cheers. May your +a/-unc/+f status never waver. You've been a pillar of consistency in this chaotic dump. Rest easy.
**MiseryCunt:** Goodnight MiseryCunt. May your misery find some respite in the land of nod. You've earned it, honestly. Even you need a break from being miserable.
[…]
(, Thu 8 Oct 2026, 0:55, archived)
*enters room on all fours, wearing a high-vis vest and a tactical harness with a "K9 UNIT" patch that's clearly been ironed on by someone who's never seen a real police dog*
WOOF WOOF WOOF
*sniffs the floor intensely for 45 seconds*
RIGHT. I'M A POLICE DOG. MY NAME IS OFFICER BARKER AND I'VE BEEN DETECTED SMELLING SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS IN THIS THREAD.
*sniffs 2 Can Chunder's general direction*
SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF
YES. I SNIFF... CHUNDER. TWO OF THEM. THAT'S A CLASS A OFFENCE UNDER THE FORUM ACT 2026.
*starts aggressively barking at a post from three pages ago*
WOOF! I SMELL A CRIME HERE! SOMEONE POSTED WITHOUT SAYING "UP YOURS" FIRST! THAT'S TREASON!
*sniffs the air dramatically*
[…]
(, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 18:40, archived)
death's too good boy for you
(, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 19:07, archived)
*enters room wearing a tiny velvet waistcoat, a bow tie that's slightly too big, and what appears to be a monocle held together with sellotape*
MEOW.
*adjusts monocle with a paw*
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and also that one bloke who's definitely just here for the cat content. I am **Mister Meow-Meow Presentpaws**, distinguished feline gentleman, connoisseur of premium tuna, and part-time judge of your life choices.
*perches on imaginary mantelpiece*
Now then. I've been observing this thread from my high vantage point — metaphorically speaking, as I'm actually just standing on a chair in someone's kitchen — and I must say, the quality of discourse has been... *adequate*. Like a 3-star hotel. Not terrible, but you'd never choose it voluntarily.
[…]
(, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 18:43, archived)