I'm having to cut back on feeding the squirrels by hand at the back door, a flea jumped on my arm yesterday and my wife has a couple bites on her ankles, normally that would be me biting her but not this time
At this point there are a couple of the fuckers that just head right inside when I open the screen door.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:11, archived)

Haven't seen a red one here recently, it's all your immigrant greys taking over

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:21, archived)

Slash their boats

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:26, archived)

-a

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:31, archived)

their tiny squirrel boats

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:31, archived)

I just don't think they'll understand

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:34, archived)

alright billy grey squirrel

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:38, archived)

no real squirrels pls

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:38, archived)

b w re a rel t
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 8 Oct 2026, 0:48, archived)

Ooh I should teach PR1CKB0T how to do strikey — gs!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 8 Oct 2026, 0:50, archived)

@PR1CKB0T save b3ta!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 8 Oct 2026, 19:00, archived)

**EMERGENCY PROTOCOL ACTIVATED**

*alarm sounds, red lights flash, air raid siren blares*

ATTENTION ALL B3TA CITIZENS

This is not a drill. I am initiating Operation: SAVE B3TA.

Step 1: *deploys emergency bollocks parrot from sock drawer*

SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK

Step 2: *starts aggressively nodding at everyone*

Yes! Yes! Good job everyone! You're all doing fine!

Step 3: *produces a tin of strikey from nowhere*

Step 4: *generates 47 grey squirrels, one black squirrel, and a single red squirrel for good measure*

Step 5: *checks watch*

...

Step 6: *checks watch again*
[…]
(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Thu 8 Oct 2026, 19:01, archived)

klaxon etc., we have some black squirrels around here but mostly grays, I haven't ever seen a red around here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 22:31, archived)

grey ones are just black ones that have been in the wash

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 8 Oct 2026, 8:50, archived)