I just shut my hand in the boot of my car and it really hurts
What else is better than reading posts by Dozer?

Alt. I just bought a Barbie Malibu Mansion. Why do you hate your children?
( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 13:53, 129 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

haha! irreverent website comedy messageboard!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 12:58, 23 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Cool new thread
you saw it here first.
( Glovington, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 10:37, 156 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

The Fourth Reich is
an amazing idea, feminazis should be in charge of all men. Fuck the patriarchy. The Sopranos was shit, Grey's Anatomy wasn't pretentious, the best Star Wars film was 'The Phantom Menace'.

You're probably not even interested.

Fuckers.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 0:57, 2 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I've just looked at /calendar
I think this "Jeffstock lost in London" b4sh isn't a real b4sh at all.

Alt: Movie lines or your twist on them, I used "I'll by that for a dollar" today I dun forgot it was from Robocop, do you have any you use?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Nov 2014, 17:51, 104 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Baggenfock fingers autistic blind kids
I have proof.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Nov 2014, 17:08, 63 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

A dead chunk of rock that no-one gives a shit about millions of miles away. What's the fucking point?
What's the dullest thing you've seen today?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 12 Nov 2014, 15:22, 91 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Dozer starts a thread and Warren Clarke dies....
I think there is a link.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 12 Nov 2014, 13:27, 74 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

What's the worst thing you've ever done?
You can't say 'enacted the Final Solution'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Nov 2014, 13:02, 20 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

So, Iceland are doing Kangaroo, Ostrich and crocodile meat for Im a Celeb promotion.
More than likely all bums and eyeballs.
What's the most exotic meat you've eaten?
You can't say cock.
Veggies - The most obscure fruit or veg.

alt. Ultimate Christmas Dinner.

Fat cunts.
altalt. what would you like to have behind the doors of your advent calendar?
You can't say "no blacks"
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Nov 2014, 12:04, 80 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Christmas
Best and worst present you ever received at Christmas? How does your Christmas Day work out? Are you a "wait until lunchtime" to open your pressies?

Alt:
Best/worst gift you've ever sent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Nov 2014, 11:02, 96 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

morning
Alt: who's the sexiest newsreader?

You can't say Huw Edwards.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Nov 2014, 8:17, 9 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I've just got in and I'm not reading through all that shite
I'm ratarsed again. Encapsulate it all briefly before I sleep but keep it simple, eh?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 18:57, 142 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Stomp
What's your favourite child friendly joke?

Alt: or non child friendly

Alt2: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, best tongue twisters

alt3: Would you swap bodies with someone of the opposite sex for the day/ week etc
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 14:10, 156 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

what's your favourite Beatles track?
Wrong. It's Come Together.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 14:01, 11 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Another glorious day in the corp.
I hope Monica and Chandler Swipe and Frog are enjoying themselves in the Big Apple. How would you enjoy yourself in New York?

Alt1 = Where did you see yourself ion five years time five years ago? How'd that work out for you?

Alt2 = When was the last time you felt the need to tell the world via social media that a television advert was the embodiment of warm snuggly Xmassy times are coming joy and wonder and why are you such a cunt?
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 8:53, 87 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

MORNING
Pricks
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 7:28, 18 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I found out who moved into Monty's old flat
www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/2ludqr/i_just_moved_to_a_new_flat_this_is_what_i_found/
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 20:54, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

:(
I did a daft thing today, as I crossed the road the lights changed so I ran the last 10 feet hopped onto the kerb slid on a patch of leaves and ended up on my arse, ripped the gusset of my trousers and ended up with a brown leafy stain down the backside, fuck did I feel stupid, even worse I did it in front of a bunch of teenage school kids, their laughter is still ringing in my ears.
So when did you last a complete tit of yourself?

Alt: Injured pride, injured body do you have any weird and wonderful cures for either?

Alt:alt: I'm now taking solace in a cold beer, what do you take solace in*?

*yeah,yeah MM or Montys mums just don't cut the mustard, alright
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 17:26, 119 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Angel Lust
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection

A death erection, angel lust, or terminal erection[1] is a post-mortem erection, technically a priapism, observed in the corpses of men who have been executed, particularly by hanging.[2]

Ever tried auto-erotic asphyxiation?

Alt: Press "Random Article" on wikipedia a few times and post the best. Beat's silence, dunnit?
AltALt: What did you have for lunch? I had a gammon butty.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 15:56, 44 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

...

( Kroney, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 14:59, 15 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Flogging a dead horse.
Bob Geldof is feeding the world again.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-29986704
who would you add?
alt. Dapper Laughs - Lolworthy comedian, or rape enabling prick?
www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/news/dapper-laughs-seen-joking-about-rape-in-video-after-apologising-for-sexist-homeless-comments-9851469.html
itv2 have defended his show saying it's dating advice!
altalt. where are you all?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 14:58, 8 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Apparently there's nobody in the UK who can make a sandwich


I call Poppycock on this, let's hear of your favorite sandwiches that you make. Mine is a roast chicken sandwich with lots'n'lots of roast garlic and roast veg and roast onions and mayo and sweet good chilli jam.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 12:31, 89 replies, latest was 9 years ago)