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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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7 a day fruit and veg, who accheives this?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:23, 165 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
YM, up her.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:24, Reply)
Also, I'm fed up of seeing packaging for shit like Fruit Winders and Panda Pops making claims that they count towards your 5 a day.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:32, Reply)
Reading my posts count towards your five a day

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:39, Reply)
Plenty of fruits on ot.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:40, Reply)
It depends, to be honest
I hate the fact that a banana, some strawberries, blueberries and raspberries, when eaten like this would be 4. However, blended into a smoothie is only 2. Fucking stupid

I always try to eat at least 3 veggies a day and some fruit
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:24, Reply)
Good lad.I'm not a fan of bananas, but like banana milkshakes. Wacky, eh?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:26, Reply)
KERAZY
Bananas make a good smoothie
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:27, Reply)
it's hard to make them without
they're more like a fruit juice
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:38, Reply)
I'm not too fond of tomatos, but I like tomato ketchup!
WAQQUI!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:32, Reply)
Do you have soul?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:35, Reply)
Arse soul?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:36, Reply)
My arse is haunted

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:45, Reply)
I've got soul, although I'm not a military man.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)
i hit 5, most days
very seldom 7
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:25, Reply)
+ other cars on the road as I am a women and therefore a shit driver

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:27, Reply)
Apparently, women are better drivers. Bollocks.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:28, Reply)
Only by dint of driving so slowly that when they do hit something the damage is less.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:43, Reply)
if you see a total cock hooning it around thinking he is too good for things like speed limits, indicators, staying in one lane, red lights, pedestrian crossings or other drivers, it'll be a man
if you see a gladys dithering around at 10mph in the fast lane or too scared to turn right, it'll be a woman.

SCIENCE.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:53, Reply)
yeah, but the slow bint will cause an accident, then drive away unscathed
like the one who pulled out on to a fast A road in front of me after she'd looked directly at me, then once I'd avoided ramming into her by anchoring on, she reached down and put on her fucking spectacles, the stupid old biddy.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:01, Reply)
I don't think bad driving is gender specific

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:05, Reply)
no, but usually the aggressive twats are men and the dithering fools are women, and they are equally dangerous

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:07, Reply)
I've seen examples of both in both sexes.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:08, Reply)
haha!

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:28, Reply)
as if
i'm an excellent driver.

in other news, this is mildly entertaining:

www.thepoke.co.uk/2014/03/31/daily-mail-headlines-replaced-with-user-comments/
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:36, Reply)
I lol'd

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:11, Reply)
I didn't notice any difference...

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:38, Reply)
"Is Hermione legal yet?"
"Is Hermione legal yet?"
"Is Hermione legal yet?"
"Is Hermione legal yet?"
"Is Hermione legal yet?"
"Is Hermione (cont. p94)
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:40, Reply)
Well lubed
I can get 3 carrots a grapefruit 2 marrows and a sprout down my japs eye does that count
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:26, Reply)
Impressive.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:27, Reply)
Me.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:28, Reply)
I don't even get close to 5
fuck that shit. Coffee is a bean right? That counts.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:32, Reply)
Don't forget the grapes in your wine

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:32, Reply)
Apples in your White Lightning.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:33, Reply)
Poppies anyone?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:44, Reply)
yep

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:34, Reply)
We're havingvegi curry tonight, so presumably that will contain 7 or more.
Curry is the bollocks.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:43, Reply)
Bollocks are not vegetarian

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:44, Reply)
Might be.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:46, Reply)
I'm having steak tonight
Thats a vegetable, right Doc?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:46, Reply)
Fed on grass is well veg.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:48, Reply)
Yes, as is cbeese.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:50, Reply)
Two of my seven sorted!

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:15, Reply)
If cereals and grains don't count then I'm fucked
I find most fruit too sweet. I hate nearly every fruit that masquerades as a vegetable, like tomatoes etc. Potatoes don't count. Beans only count as 1 no matter how many you eat. this leaves me with root veg and mushrooms and I don't get close to 5 a day.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:44, Reply)
+ricketts

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:45, Reply)
Just take vitamin pills.
Same thing right?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:49, Reply)
Plenty of carrot in those pasties you love so much

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:50, Reply)
Not at all.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:51, Reply)
Fuck off, you're just a stupid quack.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:53, Reply)
Not at all

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:51, Reply)
Alzheimers ^ ^

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:53, Reply)
Why not doc
Genuinely what added bonus do you get from veg assuming you could take supplements for the vits etc.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:53, Reply)
Fibre mainly.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)
Yes but you can get a lot of fibre from stuff that isn't in the 5 a day

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:55, Reply)
Like potatoes and grains and cereals and brown bread and bran flakes.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:56, Reply)
man, i hope for your wife's sake that you have separate bathrooms

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:59, Reply)
Do you even smell your own farts? There is nothing more vile, more potent than a vegetarians farts.
So with farts that bad I expect your shit smells like a rose garden.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:01, Reply)
as if
that's only people who eat a lot of stuff like tofu and sprouts. which i do not.

tangles, on the other hand...
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:09, Reply)
Oh yeah, my shit totally stinks
But I'm sure I'm not unusual in this.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:10, Reply)
You can get fibre supplements as well as vitamin supplements

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:59, Reply)
So if you eat a bowl of fibre as well then that veg canfuck off

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:55, Reply)
Pretty much, Bran Flakes for breakfast with vitamin pills and then fuck it. I'll eat steak and chips

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:56, Reply)
Yay

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
I think you are onto something there.
If you could produce fibre and add vitamins that's all you would need.
If only there was a way to grow it in fields.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:59, Reply)
You get a dose of bland coupled with boring
I eat vitamins and steak and I'm not dead.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)
you are from the neck up

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:55, Reply)
Better Dead Than Red Cocksucker!

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
i don't even own an red cock

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:58, Reply)
If your cock is from the neck up there's something wrong rangamuff.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:00, Reply)
Fuck off, you're just a stupid quack.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:53, Reply)
Alzheimers ^ ^

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:55, Reply)
WELL!
A sexy female Dr with a tight top once told me that its a guideline to set a target that fucking povvo twats can realistically achieve and that its actually more important to eat a healthy balanced diet involving lots of different food, but getting them to cram a couple of apples between their micro chips and findus crispy pancakes is better than nothing. Then she sucked me off saying that semen counts towards her daily protein.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:49, Reply)
That's a bit rude, talking while she was giving head.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)
Learn to read! She sucked my off afterwards.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
+ dad

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:58, Reply)
Not likely.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:59, Reply)
." Then she sucked me off saying that semen counts towards her daily protein"
Which part of what you wrote do you not understand?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:10, Reply)
Fuck off you fat psycho cunt!
What part of that do you not understand!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:12, Reply)
The bit where it says,
Fuck off you fat psycho cunt!
What part of that do you not understand!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:19, Reply)
The figure five was chosen as most likely to be able to be sold to the great unwashed.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
Because at least 60% can count that high?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)
Depends on how many fingers they have lost

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:58, Reply)
or how Cornish they are

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:59, Reply)
Hence the move to 7 a day

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:06, Reply)
If cider counts then yes.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:53, Reply)
I was in cider YM last night

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:53, Reply)
I have peppers AND onion on my pizza
is that 2? And the tomato sauce 3?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 10:59, Reply)
Bread is made from plants
that counts too
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:02, Reply)
Yes.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:02, Reply)
Wheat in the dough 4
Have a white lightning with it and you've cracked it.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:02, Reply)
glass of wine for the grapes please
I'm not a chav
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:14, Reply)
<a href="http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/vegetables-are-good-for-you-say-experts-2014040185265">www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/vegetables-are-good-for-you-say-experts-2014040185265</a>
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/vegetables-are-good-for-you-say-experts-2014040185265
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:01, Reply)
Oh yeh, believe everything you read on the Internet.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:02, Reply)
Yeah I read that you got a nosh from an attractive doc
When we all know that female docs are pug ugly. Otherwise they would have been sexy nurses
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:05, Reply)
like amorous badger

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:10, Reply)
Phwoooaar

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:12, Reply)
I'd <a href= him, if you know what I mean

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:29, Reply)
No
No we dont
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:37, Reply)
I think it's an insertion joke?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:42, Reply)
I was GIFfawing

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:44, Reply)
yeah, yeah, EXIF.....

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Interesting to note how there is always public health advice to eat more fruit and vegetables, but never advice to eat more meat.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:04, Reply)
Try that one with the missus

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:06, Reply)
Send her round here and I'll "advise" her.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:11, Reply)
I've just had a bacon sandwich. Fuck off fruit & vegetables.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:11, Reply)
A few more fruit and vegetables are going to do little to prevent your inevitable and imminent death from cancer/heart disease, so fill your boots

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:12, Reply)
You're assuming that the liver failure or STI's from all those Iron Curtain prossies won't get him first.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:36, Reply)
Pigs eat swill
Which is mostly veg.
Ergo bacon butty is basically a veggie quiche
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:13, Reply)
^ tggi

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:16, Reply)
Vegetables is what my food eats.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:17, Reply)
Just think of them as pre-chewed

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:22, Reply)
+meat
That grass your steak is eating has slugs, spiders etc in it.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:22, Reply)

vegpigs. veggiepiggie
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:24, Reply)
^Dead of heart disease by 45

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:36, Reply)
Bet a healthy adult would cost the NI fund more by eating well and exercising and then dying at a ripe old age of old-age diseases after 35 years of state pension.
We obese, asthmatic, sedentary time-bombs are doing the taxpayer a favour.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:48, Reply)
This is very true.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:58, Reply)
make it 41?
ta
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Beer counts for three

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:40, Reply)
Elected with an increased majority = you.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:45, Reply)
I reckon it's an April fool.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:46, Reply)
I'm vegetarian by proxy
I eat herbivores.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:47, Reply)
Its incredible

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:48, Reply)
Didn't you try that joke yesterday?Give it up already.



In other news, morning (just).
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:52, Reply)
Recycling jokes?
On here?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:03, Reply)
'Toto'lly

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:06, Reply)
Don'tforget your 3portions of oily fish a week too.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:52, Reply)
* something about YM *

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Thefe's a certain amount of grains you have to neck too.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:54, Reply)
What, whisky?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Sadly not, no whisky chat plesse.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:57, Reply)
Oily fish are gross.
This is probably one of the reasons my HDL score is o=under 1 : (
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:53, Reply)
If only they could get oil from a fish in capsule form
Maybe from its liver or sutin
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:03, Reply)
Supplements aren't as good as getting it direct from the source.
But yeah, you're probably right.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:05, Reply)
This point hasn't been satisfactorily proven from either side yet

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:06, Reply)
Is there any conclusive proof regarding this, I believe it to be little more than "cod" science.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:57, Reply)
Cod isn't classed as an oily fish

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:00, Reply)
tell that to it's liver.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Yes, you can get essential fatty acids from cod liver oil, but the EFAs from 'oily fish' come from the body oil.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:20, Reply)
It's a red herring.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Just scransome kippers with your morning fry up.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:02, Reply)
fruit and veg are for losers.
/fat mare
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:52, Reply)
You're more of a 'gainer'

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:59, Reply)
Not since xmas.
Over a stone so far \o/
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:07, Reply)

My parents taught me "moderation in all things". That goes for what's good for you as well as what's considered bad. Too much good is bad for you. A little of what is bad does you no harm. I'll continue to use common sense in what I eat rather than listen to so-called experts.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:54, Reply)
"Too much good is bad", who can argue with this?

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Very scientific.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:57, Reply)
^so-called 'expert'

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:58, Reply)
I think the clue is in the term 'too much'.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Too many lovers in one lifetime ain't good for you

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Poo nips off nice and little straining, poo sinks. All is good. I tend to think in soluble fibre and insoluble
fibre and achieve about 40g of fibre per day, I don't much hold with dogma of fresh fruit and vegetables but do with fibre sources, essential amino acids and a good balance of fats.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:56, Reply)
if you're eating enough fibre, it floats

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:58, Reply)
no.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 11:59, Reply)
may be the other way round
i am not very well versed in poo, unlike you shit stabbers...
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:01, Reply)
a lot of animal fat in order for it to float

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:05, Reply)
You love your poo, it is well documented, It is gasseous content and higher undigested fats that cause floating.
A vegetarian may have higher gas thus causing floating but that is not an indicator of having correct fibre levels in the diet.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:05, Reply)
sooooo not googling this

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:11, Reply)
We do need a good amount of fat, yes

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:00, Reply)
6 different flavours of petit filous and a pork and apple sausage
That's 7 right?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:06, Reply)
Works for me

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)
yer new thread

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)
I think you used to be able to get chocolate flavoured veg, to encourage kids gto eat them. Sounds gross.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 12:11, Reply)

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