Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Mind, fresh coffee goes right through me.What goes right through you?
alt. LOOK at this building that plays music when it rains. who said all Germans were doom and gloom, eh?
www.barnorama.com/a-building-that-plays-music-when-it-rains/
what would your ideal house do/ look like?
I'd be happy in a Bungalow with a bay window tbh.
altalt. alright? Good week/bad week.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 11:47,
244 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
BUMGAYlow with a GAY window more like!!!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
Moah liek a GAYBELL END house.(
d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 11:57,
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Gone off meat.Two alts but no altalt? I can't hack that, STOMP THIS THREAD!
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 11:58,
Reply)
NOW YOU'VE BALLSED UP THE REPLY COUNT YOU CRETIN(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:00,
Reply)
He's always ballsing up or bumming up something or other something something gay!(
Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:02,
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I really fucking care!he's gone and made the answer to the altalt even fucking worse and thats fucking swearing!
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:07,
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And what's with the full stop? A you'd think he would be more into colons.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:12,
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ha ha i knew that would draw you out you laborious fuckwit(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:13,
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For fucks sake Jay. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 11:59,
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Alt: Dresden gets that and what do we get? A fucking Ikea in the city centre.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:00,
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You know I was nice about cov the other day It's shit.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:03,
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ssssh, don't encourage him to movewe don't want him
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:04,
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He's welcome to join the weird Oxford hippy canal boat vegetarian loonies About 2 a year get set in fire, usually killing at least one person.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:08,
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tangledupinflamesit has rather a ring to it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:09,
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You'd miss me too much(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:10,
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I secretly like him too. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:16,
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Who don't you like? I hope you don't like the same people as me(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:19,
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I'll gaz you. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:40,
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He irritates me, I'm not going to pretend to like him.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:26,
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it is a cooler name thoughyou should change
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:20,
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I'll save it for 5th November(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:22,
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drinks first thing in the morning make your bladder weakyou can't hold half an orange juice down first thing, but by the afternoon you can guzzle litres of water, coke, coffee and never go for a single wazz.
alt: imagine how annoying it would be to live next door to that if it rained in the night. my ideal house would be old, with high ceilings and stripped floors and fireplaces, and it would have a library. i used to think i wanted a turret, but i've dealt with way too many claims about leaking turrets. fuck that nasty shit.
alt: too much work. but new york 2 weeks today, baby. 2 weeks!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:01,
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Two weeks until i'm off for a whole day while you go to work(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:02,
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onlocationtours.com/tour/sex-and-the-city/
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:09,
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haha! Sorry Meatsnake.Cosmo's all round!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:17,
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Fuck off, we're already having a whole day doing shit stuff that's ruining my holiday experience(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:22,
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This sounds very scientific.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:03,
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it's just factno idea why. it's annoying. i can never have a drink before leaving for work, or i end up cross-legged in the taxi/tube/street.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:04,
Reply)
i like my jobit enables oiks like you to get paid, have a roof over your head, have your wife get paid whilst she shits out your crotchfruit, etc.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
how does your clerical work have any effect on me?we haven't employed lawyers for over twenty years
edit: except the proper dullwits who do conveyancing ... but I'm not even sure I'd call those shysters clerics
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:42, Reply)
I've said it several times before she'll be useless in the forthcoming apocalypse.(
Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
no waythe flabby office drones will be an excellent food source during the nuclear winter
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:13, Reply)
Jealous!I hope you're going on the SATC tour!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:04,
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OH YESwe needed something to do after looking at the "friends" building. frog will be thrilled.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:04,
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Which Friends character do you think he is most like?He got a bit defensive about it when I asked him before.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:08, Reply)
I don't know which one's which, I don't think I've ever watched a whole episode.I'm the grumpy one with bowel cancer.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
Poor dozerYou'd be grumpy too if you had to wear nappies all day.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:15, Reply)
I think he's trying to create a non-sanctioned meme(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:22,
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Doesn't he realise all memes have to be signed off, stamped and claimed by Monty Boyce?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:24,
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Dunno who that is soz(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:30,
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NoDozer has bowel cancer. I was implying meaty was having a pop at him.
God, it's so frustrating that you thick fucks don't get my brilliant jokes.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:24, Reply)
Errr, don't think he does mate. I was suggesting *I* had bowel cancer because of my stomach pains and blood belching anus.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:28,
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I wouldn't worry. Take some paracetemol and get a few days rest. These things usually clear up on their own.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:33, Reply)
we can have cosmopolitans!!!you can be miranda, she's got short hair!!!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:07,
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Er, nothing? Because I'm not a pregant woman or in a retirement home?(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:05, Reply)
i DON'T EVEN KNOW/CARE WHO YOU ARE SOZ(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
I dunno Jay, sorryAlt, I live in my ideal house. Plenty of room, cool in the summer, warm in the winter, loads of solid wood, garden, massive shed, trees growing all around the perimeter, privacy, off road parking for six cars. I could quite honestly live in this house for the rest of my life. Only thing I want is a library and that will happen either when sprog one buggers off and I nick the room for my books or I convert the attic.
AltAlt, Fucking shit mate, thanks for asking.
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:07,
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but when the sprog buggers off, who will hold their finger under the words and help you to read the books?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:08,
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What happens when you can't get up the stairs anymore? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:09,
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think a library is just asking for trouble in your house.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:15,
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My wife suffers from GADSometimes things are fine, sometimes things are fucking shit. This week is a fucking shit week.
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:23,
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+Da compulsion to purchase underage thai boys for congress, under an assumed name
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:25, Reply)
Aww sorry to hear that.Apparently she's fit though, so swings and roundabouts.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:29,
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I'd agree except she hates it and takes a fuck load of medication and has weekly therapy sessions (that she also hates but does to try and make things better)Its a lot of work to go through if she just wants an excuse. Would be easier to just be a miserable bitch. Mind you its not misery, its blind panic about really stupid shit.
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:35,
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Bet it's good fun hiding her keys and that(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:40,
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My mrs is really jumpy and sometimes I like to make her jump on purposebut sometimes she jumps just because I'm not where she expects me to be, despite the fact that I have legs too and live there and stuff.
So basically, quit whining some of us have real problems, yeah?
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Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
She was in the bathroom once and I sneaked up to just outside the closed door and made an unpleasant face.She opened the door and just froze wide eyed and open mouthed. Just completely blue-screened.
I damned near wet myself laughing.
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Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
I find this sort of thing extremely funny. Sadly, in our house, I am in a minority.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:49, Reply)
I'm just glad I didn't go "RAAAGH"I swear blind she'd have had a proper heart attack.
My brother leaps out of cupboards at his mrs. We're all incredibly childish.
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Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:51,
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Excuse me sir! I believe I will win this battle with ease.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:50,
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Aww man, I feel terrible now, I had no idea you had it that bad (
Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:45,
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She's constantly cleaning up after me, despite the fact that I like it messy.I HATE MY LIFE
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Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:46,
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Anxiety issues are a complete bitch, you over-think EVERYTHING to a rediculous level.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:45,
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Hah, if I think about them, they don't work. They have to come naturally or they look stupid.Every time I do it on perpous (probably about 20% of the time), they looks shit.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:54,
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eg, if I did 'perpous' perpously there, i'd have made it that water animal thing.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:55,
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Porpoise.Though the word you're looking for is "purpose".
Mind you, the world would be a sadder place if you could spell properly.
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Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:56,
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=)I prefer my linguistics too.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:10,
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The worst thing about headwrong issues is that people always have opinions about how you can get better. And you know they're basically thinking 'pull yourself together, you flaming queer'.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:49,
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Indeed, I put up with it because its a genuine headwrong issue that she recognises and is trying to do something aboutIf I thought for a second that she was doing it on purpose i'd have ditched her years ago.
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:51,
Reply)
EXACTAMUNDO! If we all indulged ourselves all of the time then fuck all would get done.
Sitting around mithering about how I feel and what people think of me and how I come across and what people think of me and am i confident enough and what do people think of me.
FOR. FUCKS. SAKE. PULL. YOURSELF. TOGETHER.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:53, Reply)
I'm not a flaming queer and I'm not afraid of going outdoors, or always feeling down in the dumps about pointless shit that everybody copes with just fine.Just sayin'
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Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:54,
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Yup, I think that comes with all illnesses, or at least ones where people have a glimps of what it's like.Like people equate a bad tummy with crohns, when there is so much more to it.... when people think of anxiety, they think of maybe "I once couldn't find my keys straight away", but they don't think of that last-step* being consitant for hours straight.
* It's the only way I can describe it, when you're at the bottom step of some stairs and you think there is one more/less.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:04,
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Indeedat least once a day I get some kind of message worrying about something that may or may not happen months from now. Today our bank is doing some maintenance on the online banking website so she can't check our accounts. She checks them about 4 times a day, she knows exactly what we have but because she can't see it shes panicking about money, me telling her not to panic as we had lots of money yesterday and we haven't spent any today isn't helping.
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
Withdraw £400 right now and hide it(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:58,
Reply)
Plus she probably knows that the online banking [or my one at least] only refreshes once a day, but that don't stop it.Things like on Monday, I thought Ma' was supposed to come over at 10am [I was wrong, but still], was calling her from like 9 'till 13:00, started panicking at 12ish, ended up calling her neighbour - her phone was on mute from the pictures the day before, and i'm not sure why the house-phone wasn't working.
I've never done that before, but I got myself so worked up, that it lasted all day. Pure dread.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:00,
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Ours refreshes instantly. If I withdraw from paypal its in there right awayIts the pending transactions that don't show up right away but thats down to the stores. Tesco take days to take our money, no wonder they're up shit creak.
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
Ahh, cool, mine might be like that, I barely check it - as long as there are more ins than outs.Thinking about it, it's weird, the stuff I should really worry over, I don't give a shit... I don't really care about money or health, it is what it is... but i'll spend a whole afternoon picking out a dinner.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:09,
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And what's wrong with my low mileage, great condition, 1.6l VW Polo?(
Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:05,
Reply)
My wife's 7 months pregnant and is going through the 'nesting' thing. Loads of mentalness about tiny details months away. We had a panic the other day about where the christmas tree was going to go.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:04, Reply)
Actually, I'd like to move out to the country, get a bit more for my money, but due to Ladypigs not driving, she likes to be central so she can be independent.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
I reckon Somalia is the worst country in the world.I saw Black Hawk Down and I don't get why anyone would want to live there. They're always kidnapping people and ships and stuff. We should just nuke it.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:27,
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This country. Out in the country. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:32,
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She's blind, fucko (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:31,
Reply)
so just move to the country without herit's not like she'll be able to find you to make you feel guilty
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:33, Reply)
No bother, we'll all have google cars in a few years. It means I can get properly hammered at the pub and not have to risk another ban.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:36, Reply)
Hang on? Are they legally allowed to discriminate against blind people like that?I'm writing to my MP! In braille! TO be fair to Bonzo though, I didn't know she was blind either.
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
I can see what she see's in you. #BetThatsTheFirstTimeYouveHeardThat #KAPLOWIE #RightInTheKisser
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:42,
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I am aware of this factIt never stopped Stevie Wonder though so she should pull her finger out
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:02, Reply)
she's blindbut I'm pretty sure she'll still notice if he tries to stick his foot up her
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:51, Reply)
Having spent most of my life in boring army accommodation and other dull, square, houses,my ideal home would have lots of weird corners and split levels. And two staircases. And a pantry. And a swimming pool.
I'm going to go out on a lib and say it's never going to happen.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
A lot of sheltered accomodation is quite nice nowadays and hardly smell of piss and bleach at all.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:23,
Reply)
do a crimewhat you've described sounds very much like Holloway prison.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:26, Reply)
Pools are a pain in the arse. We had a pool growing up and it was more trouble than it was worth.(
Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
I imagine you're right.It's just something I've always fancied. Especially with the hot summers we're getting these days.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:38,
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Why do you need a pool? You live by the sea.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:41,
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You know what, I suppose its growing up by the sea which is properly cold but pools in the summer get warmLike not nice warm, like that point where you want to get out of the bath because its dipped just below that temperature you like. Its not cool enough to feel like you're cooling off and not not warm enough to think hot tub. It was nicest at the beginning of summer before it warmed up the water.
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
how can wallpaper have a border?(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:44,
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well, you put one round it, of course.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
so rather than cover the entire wall you'd just have a square of paper in the middle with a nice border?(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:48,
Reply)
I think it's a paper thing that proles use if they don't have a picture rail and dado(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:47, Reply)
I'd like light and dark grey horizontal striped wallpaper smeared generously with bullshit to remind me of beeta(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:54,
Reply)
I'd like a barn conversion type thingywith lots of stone, wood and windows.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:36,
Reply)
Proper big stone buildings look nice(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:54,
Reply)
Yeah, but not ones that were built for cows and converted to look like they were built for cows and somebody stuck a kitchen in it.Ohhh....
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Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:03,
Reply)
I always thought a small converted church would be cool.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:46,
Reply)
I've always thought it a little unfair, that.Maybe it's man sex with grown ups that's illegal.
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Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
Only in repressed countries.FREE LOVE FOR ALL!!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:01,
Reply)
^ooooh, this.Definitely a converted church. That would be awesome.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:47,
Reply)
I've seen some nice ones and some shit ones This shitty old barn is now a fucking beautiful house
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Peej, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
There are some excellent conversions in East AngliaI used to pass them on the way to Cromer quite often. I've been watching a lot of Grand Designs and could go for a timber framed house, mind you
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:00,
Reply)
These are some decent interesting ones round my waywww.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-45548713.html
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-48602150.html
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42880327.html
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:07,
Reply)
I like the middle one bestestApart from they have too much stuff in there
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:09,
Reply)
Yeah, me tooIts a cool building
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:17,
Reply)
All the owners shite is annoying, but it's a lovely building(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
I'm getting proper pissed off with one particular cunt estate agent.(
Kroney, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 13:18,
Reply)
I'd like one of those gaffs on St Pauls Square.Either that or lendal tower.
(, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:42, Reply)
My ideal house would incorporate a spite fence.alt alt: yeah not bad. My mate Dan's up at the weekend.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 12:44,
Reply)
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