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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I saw a facebook status that made me actually afraid for a moment, then when relieved told the person responsible to fuck off, but only because I was so relieved nothing was wrong. When was the last time you woefully overreacted?
Alt Q: do you own a hat? If so what type?
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:41, 208 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
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Alt Q: I own a few caps, a straw cowboy hat thing, and a trilby.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:43, Reply)
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Chicken teryakki noodles, accidental hot chocolate and a relentless.
GOD I LOVE WORKING IN FARRINGDON
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:07, Reply)
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And a few cricket hats.
I like hats, but I don't wear them very often.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:43, Reply)
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I have four. One New Era Vans Pinstripe jobby, and 3 trucker caps.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:44, Reply)
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next week www.focuspocus.co.uk/cat-31-subcat-84-product-8287
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:44, Reply)
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I have a red beret.
I have two pull-on hats.
I REALLLLLY WANT A CLOCHE HAT but my head is far too small. I tried on a winner in Accessorise but it was huge.
I have concluded that I have to go to a milliner.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)
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a massive head. It's actually an inch bigger than my dad's (measured for mortarboard)
I'd love some proper hats though
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)
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then I'll be fine, and probably better off money-wise!
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)
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Alt: I have a fair few hats but never wear them, as I get too hot.
One of my favourite terms for a 'Mary Hinge' is 'like a trapper's hat'.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)
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Sorry for not doing it before, I've been ill and drunk.
You're a trainer fanatic aren't you? I found my old Airwalk Lava the other day. Sadly too damaged to wear, but they were lovely.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:50, Reply)
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Before I went to KRS1 the other weekend I spent ages lovingly reviewing my collection. It's half the size it used to be, I just kept the classics. I did also find a pair of brown nubuck Converse hi-tops that I stopped wearing because they got wet one day (no, I don't understand this either). They're almost new.
And thanks for stylophone thing.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:52, Reply)
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that might have been it.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)
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I want one too - but nowhere near as much as I want an SS ceremonial sword or dagger. I'd swap my kid for an SS sword.
I like swords.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:53, Reply)
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and the dress sword my great-grandfather wore to the coronation of George V. I also have a trio of African spears and some gold Bruce Lee nunchaku. My brother has a flintlock pistol and some excellent swords and daggers.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)
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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:57, Reply)
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My mate (female) has an awesome Italian rapier and main gauche that we got her for her birthday.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)
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I wish I could carry a rapier, or daisho around with me. Soon sort out any scally cunts (unless they had guns...).
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)
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once beheaded a pimp from Huddersfield with a samurai sword.
I have told this tale before.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:26, Reply)
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were sat in their flat getting high when they hear a terrible commotion outside. They went to see what the bother was, to find this horrible little man savagely beating a woman outside their door.
They remonstrated with him, at which point he pulled out a rather knackered looking little pistol. Whilst this was going on, one fo the chaps slipped back inside and retrieved a rather lovely (but non-ornamental) Japanese sword he’s inherited from his RAF commander father. A scuffle ensued, resulting in the stabbing and disarming of the pimp – they finished him off by cutting his head off and throwing body, head and sword down a nearby rubbish chute.
The police told them they weren’t really looking for whoever did it. The owner of the sword is now a top aviation lawyer.
EDIT. I am not endorsing this conduct, by the way...
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)
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"a rather knackered looking little pistol" - I doubt thats the first thought I'd have if someone pulled a pistol on me...
"they finished him off by cutting his head off and throwing body, head and sword down a nearby rubbish chute" - a "nearby rubbish chute" outside? Is this street like the Death Star, with convenient rubbish chutes all over
"The police told them they weren’t really looking for whoever did it." - The police are never interested in solving crimes that could be ninja-related, right?
Bellend.
( , Tue 19 Apr 2011, 0:06, Reply)
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( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:37, Reply)
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EDIT I think the adrenalin just kicked in. Having someone threaten to shoot one might make the old survival instincts kick in hard, I would imagine.
The woman they saved was rather pleased with them, and the police were clearly rather pleased that 'someone' had removed this man, too.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)
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I don't agree with capital punishment at all. I certainly don't think it should be meted out by pyschopaths with swords.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)
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is meted out by the state. Regardless of my views on it, that makes it legal (when done within the framework of the law.) Beheading someone for whatever reason is a criminal act of violence that deserves punishment
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:00, Reply)
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the supposed ‘sanctity of human life’ idea is a load of old bollocks. Some people are cunts and they deserve to die. I would have no compunction whatsoever were I to personally execute the piece of shit that ruined my sister’s life. Literally none whatsoever. But then again, hey – military family. My family have been killing people in cold blood for generations
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:18, Reply)
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some people should die. But by no conceivable measure should that be left to the discretion of the average person. Yeah that man was scum (the pimp chap) but that doesn't carry a tag of 'acceptable to murder.' Nothing to do with military. You can make an executive decision to kill someone if you want. But you can also face the music that comes with it
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:24, Reply)
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( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:17, Reply)
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But ya' gotta admit, it's a tall tale to swallow at face value.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:21, Reply)
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( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:30, Reply)
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( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:33, Reply)
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www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=man+beheaded+with+samurai+sword+in+Huddersfield&meta=
only search results are for his QotW post.
( , Mon 18 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)
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Even in the old days, the guillotines often need two or three goes to get the job done.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:38, Reply)
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and samurai sword to "kebab"
and behead to "threw a kebab at"
and pimp to "old lady"
( , Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)
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having been linked from talk, and I have no idea who Monty Boyce is, or if he is a current user anymore, so I have no axe to grind with him (her?).
I have read many boasts on b3ta in the last (almost) 10 years, but that is perhaps the most spectacular horseshit I have ever seen posted.
( , Thu 5 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)
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Pudding myself as all I can see is the Aviation Lawyer as a cross between The Lincoln Lawyer and Top Gun with Perry Mason popping in occasionally for a cameo as the wing man!
People love watching decapitations in the middle of a sreet, and obviously everyone was perfectly happy just killing someone cold bloodedly... Hysterical.
( , Sat 10 Mar 2012, 1:24, Reply)
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served about 8 years for beheading a relative of the bride at a local wedding.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)
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The bride had apparently backed out of an arranged marriage to one of his family, he blamed whichever relative had been doing the arranging so he just popped into the wedding ceremony with a sword. Fine and upstanding citizen apart from that.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)
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and I, for one, completely believe every word of this obviously true story.
( , Thu 27 Sep 2012, 0:59, Reply)
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I believe that if a weapon is an antique you can carry it. This was back when I was hunting for a sword-cane
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)
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to buying one. Back when I still needed a cane I really fancied getting one
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)
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Had to settle with one that folded into 3 bits, that I could possibly have used like a small 3-sectional-staff, but would probably have done myself another injury.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)
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You could combine it with the samurai umbrella, it would be great.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)
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But any owner of one would look like a right geek.
Someone I know has one, and he's barely fit for safe integration into society.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)
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was absolutely fucking furious that his was confiscated when he emigrated to Britain.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:50, Reply)
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for the purposes of possession of an offensive weapon.
( , Mon 18 Apr 2011, 12:32, Reply)
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but you're not allowed to carry a sword in the street no matter how old
( , Mon 18 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)
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I've got several woolly beanie types, a fedora (bought for fancy dress), a musketeer hat and a straw cowboy hat.
caps are for gays.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:50, Reply)
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I bought it for a fiver to keep the sun off my head
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)
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The only people who can get away with them are cowboys.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)
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Cowboy hats are for the rugged, open-air mountain man that occasionally likes some hot cock in the bot-bot, and what of it? do you want to make something of it? It's not gay if he doesn't own any lamee.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)
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No, wait... It's not gay if you're wearing cowboy boots? Hmmm.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)
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It's definitely not gay if you high-five afterwards.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)
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but not the musketeer hat? Is that an everyday sort of hat?
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)
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Pinstripe trilby (retired)
PASGT helmet (heh, helmet)
Awesome Chomp hat a friend knitted for me (Monty, you will explode with fury should you ever see it)
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:50, Reply)
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I have one already. And it does a sterling job of going "THOCK" when you get hit in the head with a BB, which is a vast improvement over the previous "ARGH! FUCK IT!"
Next I need an old tommy tin helmet, they make an incredibly satisfying SPANG.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)
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but my first ever major palpitating desperately breathy crush was on warren beatty in "dick tracy" - i was so gutted when i saw him without the soft focus (he may well have been the most beautiful man ever to walk the earth in his youth).
as a result i still have a bit of a thing for hats like that. why don't men wear hats like that now? i'd never manage to stay on my seat on the tube (ok, taxi)!!!
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)
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I own lots of hats, many of them have ears. Cat ears, bunny ears, zebra ears...
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)
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got them online or had them as gifts :)
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:04, Reply)
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why would the buttons be the wrong way round :/
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)
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but if they changed either round now there would be a massive spastic fit.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)
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and one for skiing. But they are more "helmets" I suspect. I also have a stormtrooper helmet for some disturbing reason.
I have some beanies. That is about it.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)
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I have one of these hats
Also I am going to overreact by going
WAH WAH WHY DON'T YOU LINK PICTURES YOU MASSIVE DUMBO EARED GNATSLAPPER
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)
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No doubt they will think I am overreacting.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)
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You should be looking for a minimum of 6 months free subscription.
I once got 3 months free from Telewest because their fitter walked a bit of mud into the carpet.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)
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Including all the films and sports channels.
I love a good argument on the phone.
Saying that, I can't imagine you'd bother with either the sport or film channels as all sport and films are shit aren't they?
In fact, I don't know what you're bothering with getting the connection restored. Surely everything ever shown on telly is gash and you hate it?
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)
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i got a personal email, the problem fixed that weekend, the person who had lied to me on the phone got disciplined, i got a couple of hundred quid out of them, and apparently my letter got shown to staff at training sessions.
didn't stop them doing it again 6 months later, mind.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)
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try and really annoy them before they scream "what do you actually want" and then you scream back "MY FUCKING INTERNET YOU GRABASTIC ASS BAGS".
Oor something to that effect.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:29, Reply)
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just when you'd managed to escape LAK, your talk of hats will get you right back in there!
I overreacted massively to Wiggy going to a barbecue with his friends instead of coming to one with my friends, when the argument I was pursuing didn't go anywhere I just ranted about anything and everything I could think of until he said "what are you actually angry about?" and I had to admit I was being a psycho. I hate it when I have to do that.
I have many a hat, I like berets quite a lot, but I also have a military style hat that I love and a trilby which I've only managed to wear once because it requires a certain type of outfit to go with. I bought a rainbow hat at a festival but I don't think I dare wear it.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)
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because that one was far away and he got to stay in Manchester where it was sunny.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)
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this was ages ago and you're retelling it to make your life seem interesting.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:15, Reply)
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1. I obviously don't overreact as much as one would think, despite being quite highly strung
2. You remember ever little detail about my life.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)
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Shouldn't use personal info against someone you found out from them off-b3ta. That's the sort of thing bert would do.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)
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I don't talk to him outside of b3ta hours because, well, who does?
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)
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The kind that turn out basiclly to be an NSN Conversation where you're alt+tab'ing every time that little notification pops up, getting annoyed that it's in the way but don't want to close because other people you like are on.... and he isn't changing windows at all.
Speaking of which, does anyone want my WORK msn ? I've totally got an MSN account just for work.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:58, Reply)
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I have skype but it only has one contact on it.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:10, Reply)
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It's back up to like LA/K
That's half an A btw
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:15, Reply)
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apart from one knitted one that I never wear
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)
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Imagine your crazy ranting, add some condescension, and a healthy amount of 'convinced I'm right about everything despite the facts proving otherwise'. Remove the bit where you admit you're a psycho. Serve heated for half an hour, bringing back to the boil whenever you fucking feel like it.
Yeah.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:16, Reply)
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I DEMAND MORE BEER OR I'LL CRY!
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)
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and maybe getting drunk and sending threatening sarcastic emails to the bloke I'm suing last night was a good idea.
Because he's apparently transfered some of the money I'm owed over.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)
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You haven't submitted a defence, I've requested summary judgment but as I have no confidance you're going to pay at all, I've started a criminal case for fraud against you and I have 3 witness statments overhearing you telling me that you'd protect the deposit, the recipt and your signature on the tennancy agreement. (There's no limited liability in criminal cases)
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)
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then he might not realise you were pissed.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)
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Or is that a bluff? I am all for you taking on a cunty landlord.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)
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given them the details and what not, I had to give a description of him I enjoyed putting "hair type: none".
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)
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An old landlord made ridiculous demands off of me and two mates after we left a house, totaling 3k plus with-holding the deposit.
We fought it all the way to small claims court, where the judge ruled out a vast number of the charges for various reasons, my favourite being the 'receipts for repair work' being invoices from his wife's company with the words "Labour: £1,500" on. Dodgy as fuck.
We were ordered to pay a small amount, basically £100 on top of the deposit (there were some damages and stuff left behind), and the landlord was livid.
He tried to take us back to court again to pay for more repairs and his court expenses, but Rachelswipe helped me with a letter that categorically told him to fuck off, and if he tried I would counter-sue for harassment.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:54, Reply)
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( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:06, Reply)
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mine's a double grey goose on the rocks and a diet coke on the side, thank you! oh, with a straw.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:10, Reply)
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*feels glares from Monty*
It's cool, dude, just a 'thank you' drink.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:12, Reply)
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monty isn't the possessive type.
it's all the others you have got to watch out for. ALL OF THEM.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:14, Reply)
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Makes no odds to me!
Because they'd probably panel me
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:15, Reply)
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you will be able to get them all to fight each other
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:16, Reply)
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And willed herself cancer.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)
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the rest of us have got that covered
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)
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it's just a crocheted rainbow coloured cloche. I like it.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)
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It's not your fault. Listen to me son, it's not your fault. It's not your fault.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)
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And I'll find that this room will get a bit dusty all of a sudden.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:59, Reply)
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But will bring cheers whenever a dino chomps on a stupid human.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:13, Reply)
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and a Russian Tank Commander hat that is ludicrously warm and has earflaps. That's plenty of hats for a man. Any more would be a little effeminate.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:54, Reply)
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I have several but only for special occasions. Once a man goes past 21 he is not permitted to wear baseball caps anymore. That's my only hat rule.
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)
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For cold weather (people who wear beanies indoors in warm weather should be shot), a real fur russian hat with earflaps for skiing and a cricket hat for the beach. I wish I had an excuse to wear a top hat...
( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:00, Reply)
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( , Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:04, Reply)
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