Windy Pig thread.
No mod intervention allowed.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:29, archived)

y Pi ba
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:31, archived)

Oh boy, this is gonna be good

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:35, archived)

Well that was fucking disappointing

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:58, archived)

Despite the comedy name
Windy Pig has never broken wind, even in private.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:35, archived)

that would make him highly inflated

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:41, archived)

trapped windy pig.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:43, archived)

w +, mon
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 13:01, archived)

He is.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:44, archived)

I fancy a pint of cider

( SuperMatt, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:58, archived)

I've just realised none of my superiors seem to be around today and it's my last day of work this week.
Might go for a lunchtime pint.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 13:04, archived)

I think this is a good idea

( SuperMatt, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 13:05, archived)

and is the feeling mutual, or is this love just not meant to be?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 13:09, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 6:04, archived)

Alright, Grrrry
How's tricks?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:09, archived)

alright
it's pushing 30 degrees and the aircon on my car broke, so I'm sweating like a [ insert comedy euphemism ]
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:16, archived)

[paedo in a playground]

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:17, archived)

Sweating like a condom in a chocolate teapot factory?
You're not even making any sense, man.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:18, archived)

cheap cheese at room temperature

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:40, archived)

[set of twin babies in a Mercedes Benz with the windows up when the temp goes up to the mid 80s]

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:51, archived)

fucking hell that bloke is a talentless prick

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:58, archived)

^ bit harsh
Way to crush my self esteem before my stellar rap-hop career even gets off the ground :(
( H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:03, archived)

[An ex-pat in a car with no air con]

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:07, archived)

I've never been a postman m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:09, archived)

[An unfunny prick in a crappy old Jag]

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:11, archived)

[An adult lego enthusiast]

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:11, archived)

I haven't had my trains* out in yonks
*strikethrough this word for maximum comedy effect
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:14, archived)

[An obese person when they feel the first flutter of a heart attack]

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:14, archived)

[MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES]

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:24, archived)

happy candles, 2 Can

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:31, archived)

Blimey, 9 years.
ON THIS DAY

1993: Two boys charged with toddler's murder
Two 10-year-old boys are charged with the abduction and murder of two-year-old James Bulger in Liverpool.

1983: Hundreds die in Assam poll violence
Hundreds of people are reported to have died in Assam as fierce fighting rages in the run-up to Indian elections.

1989: IRA bombs Tern Hill barracks
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:08, archived)

Candle icons are for pricks

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:31, archived)

I feel less special now. Thank you for ruining my b3taday

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:40, archived)

fair's fair
you've ruined the entire site
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:44, archived)

I'll ruin it again in a minute, I haven't washed for a fortnight and am complaining of a mysterious lump in my scrotum that comes and goes

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:45, archived)

Sounds like you have finally discovered your penis

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 10:03, archived)

Morning /talk forum chums

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:18, archived)

hello Official /talk Chum H.B.Mupps

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:23, archived)

Yeah, whatever.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:29, archived)

^ throwing dice in the alley, officer Leroy came up

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:39, archived)

Hello hello, how are you?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:08, archived)

I'm alright now
I've had my breakfast, done some deals, made some cash, I'm drinking coffee and counting my dolla dolla bills y'all
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:09, archived)

I haven't had my fairly regular 8.15 poo.
Bit concerned.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:13, archived)

what's Gerald's advice?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:15, archived)

I try not to engage wth him if at all possible.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:18, archived)

but he probably knows quite a bit about bowel movements
considering he's so full of shit
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:30, archived)

Careful mate, if you don't shit you die.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:36, archived)

I heard about a thing where if you get constipated enough you can vomit poo.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:47, archived)

That doesn't sound very fun.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:48, archived)

I don't think it is.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:50, archived)

It has to get pretty bad to get to that point.
My wife thought her nan had it, but it was more likely to have coffee grounds vomit, which is still pretty bad.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:58, archived)

Alright

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:31, archived)

alright mark morrisons prison shoes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:32, archived)

Nice to see an old account being revived.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:20, archived)

I think I need a cup of tea first

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:32, archived)

fucking get one then, you prick

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:35, archived)

I have
it looks as though someone has baked some cakes as well
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:49, archived)

gezz

( mongychops, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:32, archived)

alright mongy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:35, archived)

Looks like another win

( mongychops, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:42, archived)

easy pickings at the bottom
is your boy gonna join in? I don't wanna rob loot off him if he fancies a chance at a 3-star
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:47, archived)

Dunno, he's currently making the most of an all inclusive buffet in lanzarote, filling up on chips and dessert

( mongychops, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 8:54, archived)

I never knew your ex was such a classy bint

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:04, archived)

i'm glad they are having a proper holiday instead of the usual cultural grand european tour the get subjected to every summer

( mongychops, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:10, archived)

'sup?

( SuperMatt, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:07, archived)

alright SuperMatt

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:10, archived)

alright
*nods*
( SuperMatt, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:12, archived)

Just got the rough mixes back from thr recording we did a few weeks ago.
I know they're supposed to be rough, but they sound like a deaf retard has done them. I'm Livid.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:15, archived)

Deaf Jim tries his best :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:24, archived)

Dead jim is a prick and you know it.
He fucked your sister.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:26, archived)

It's worse than that, he's Dead Jim!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:28, archived)

He's dead now?
Poor Jim.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:28, archived)

Ah, no, see, I've had a shocker here, sorry no, he's not dead, I hope no one contacted his family.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:35, archived)

ffs I've booked the funeral and everything.
Can you just kill him now? Fricking spent a fortune on this.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:41, archived)

Anything for you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:49, archived)

xxx

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:51, archived)

Something about silk purses and sows' ears.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:27, archived)

Yeah, well. Fuck you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:34, archived)

something about polishing a turd

( mongychops, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:32, archived)

I was really pleased with what we recorded, honestly. This is just bad mixing.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:34, archived)

morning
new thread please
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:53, archived)

COCKNBALLZ©

( PooPants, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 2:54, archived)

you know you like 'em

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 4:04, archived)

Eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:25, archived)

hey, hey, hey!

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:47, archived)

soz mate gonna bed now innit

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 31 May 2016, 23:28, archived)

not sure I can keep up with the pace of /talk anymore :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 May 2016, 23:31, archived)

Carla Lane is dead.
My wife just told me off for pointing out that Bread was rubbish.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 0:12, archived)

i keep hearing her name read out to the tune of arnold layne by the pink floyd sound
and thinking she had a strange hobby
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 1:05, archived)

Totally pushing that prick down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:37, archived)

Alright?
How's your face?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:39, archived)

It has a bit of the bridge of the nose bloody scar
The homophobic prick. Otherwise, fine. You have fun in Brizzle?
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:41, archived)

Shit man
Oh well, you massive bummer.

I did. It was all nerds and booze and beards and Swedes. All good.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:42, archived)

I'm sure other non-homosexuals have been the subject of homophobic assault.
Still.I did retaliate quite firmly. life goes on.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:44, archived)

True.
I was sorry to read it though :(
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:44, archived)

Eh. I'll live.
Anyway, what's going on? You're here.stuj is here. Supermatt appears to have returned. Is it the second coming of /talk?
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:48, archived)

Na they're all spanishfly

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:55, archived)

But in the end, aren't we all baldmonkey?

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:53, archived)

Nah.

( FoldsFive, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:30, archived)

a g-g-g-g-ghost!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:49, archived)

rob carehome is back on qotw, all we need now is Albert Marshmallow!!!!!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:00, archived)

this sounds utterly rubbish
hope you're ok, etc
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:10, archived)

hahahaha yeah

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:30, archived)

You should have bummed him hard, that would have learned him.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:52, archived)

Please try to keep conversations inclusive
In jokes and private conversations should be kept to private messages
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:17, archived)

Someone try and knock your block off?
Sorry to hear it my man.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 21:08, archived)

wtf

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:25, archived)

the complete shit :(

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 23:41, archived)

alright pebbles

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:53, archived)

Hello. How are you. I am fine.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 21:05, archived)

woah that's not cool

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:49, archived)

New Plaid album out soon eh?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:04, archived)

I farking love Plaid
I was a massive Warp nerd when I was your age.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:04, archived)

I do love me some warp stuff. Squance is probs my favorite Plaid track, and Double Figure's probably my favorite LP of theirs.
I've got loads of squarepusher stuff as well.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:09, archived)

Yeah Double Figure is gr8.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:10, archived)

I too have loads of squarepusher gear innit

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:10, archived)

which one?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:17, archived)

alright mmps, been a while eh

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:21, archived)

alright, yeah guess it has.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:26, archived)

#secondcomingoftalk

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:22, archived)

I'll get the tissues.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:26, archived)

Alright scum
Movie recommendations anyone?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:23, archived)

I'm going with my stock response of Nude Nuns With Big Guns.
Even though it isn't very good.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:33, archived)

And yet it still seems like I might enjoy it

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:34, archived)

It's somewhat Ronseal.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:36, archived)

you can creosote your fence with it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:37, archived)

Nunjuices are well known to be sticky, waterproof, and dark brown.
So, yes The LOVELY tangles. You can creosote your fence with them. The difficulty is getting the nuns aroused enough to splutch out sufficient quantities. I find that giving them a a copy of 'Hot Crosses' or 'Stud-Saviour' works quite well.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 31 May 2016, 20:02, archived)

i.imgur.com/xotSSib.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:06, archived)

Sister Mary just collapsed from fluid-drain.
Nice one Beardolith.
:(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 31 May 2016, 20:10, archived)

the precious bodily fluids

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:14, archived)

Michael Clayton

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:35, archived)

I saw this a few years ago and thought it was terrible

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:39, archived)

You've yet to be right on anything

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:41, archived)

I am right that that film was terrible.
Secondly that you have terrible taste in movies.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:46, archived)

Alright, tell me a film that you think is good, so I can point out why it's shit and you are stupid

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:52, archived)

Michael Clayton

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 31 May 2016, 19:08, archived)

Take a dvd, snap it and use the jagged edge to saw through a major artery or 2.
Actually, better use bluray, better quality.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 19:20, archived)

Ok

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 31 May 2016, 19:35, archived)

Michael Clayton

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 31 May 2016, 19:27, archived)

Excellent film.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 31 May 2016, 19:35, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt1949228/
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 19:34, archived)

Cheers you miserable cunt.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 31 May 2016, 19:35, archived)

oh aye, i'm dead miserable, me

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 19:41, archived)

Conspiracy
Conspiracy IRON SKY!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 31 May 2016, 19:58, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt1674223/
( broadsword w⚓, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:14, archived)

Get Bent 2: The legend of fuck off you prick

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:20, archived)

a rare case of a sequel that improves on the original

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:52, archived)

Eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:02, archived)

Up yours, dickface

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:03, archived)

Thanks pal

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:10, archived)

Quite a bit of bullying going on on /talk today.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:21, archived)

U ok

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 31 May 2016, 18:28, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 19:52, archived)

Hey

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 31 May 2016, 20:32, archived)

So, this is awkward.
Anyone read any good books, lately?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:08, archived)

When things fall apart

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:10, archived)

when things get knocked over, spill or fall out of cupboards

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:28, archived)

knock knock

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:35, archived)

who's there?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:37, archived)

it's mono, his name's right there

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:38, archived)

can't be too careful these days with identity theft and what have you

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:39, archived)

A pile-up

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:42, archived)

No, YOU'RE A POO!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:43, archived)

ok, ignoring monster munch
a pile-up who?!
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:44, archived)

Now I know how a Double Decker feels.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:46, archived)

you poor bastard

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:48, archived)

lol

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:17, archived)

that's not a very good punchline

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:21, archived)

knock knock

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:22, archived)

who's there?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:25, archived)

mono!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:58, archived)

mono! who?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:58, archived)

mono! the big stupid joke-ruining prick that everyone hates including his mum!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:58, archived)

ahahaha best joke ever

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:59, archived)

Sbumhole.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 17:55, archived)

when love breaks down

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 17:23, archived)

no, i only read social media, the first paragraph of news articles and youtube comments

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:11, archived)

Star Smashers of the Galaxy Rangers by Harry Harrison
Without a doubt one of the worst books I've ever read, absolutely loved it, would highly recommend to any sci-fi fan.

Currently working my way through Rheingold, an 800-something page "re-imagining" of Wagner's Ring Cycle.

_{...lol, Wagner's Ring}
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:12, archived)

I reckon my next Scifi book will be Ready Player One.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:17, archived)

i've read that
it's alright
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:24, archived)

A mate lent me that claiming "it's amazing"
I found it to be a really dull sci-fi that's more pop culture references and shout outs than actual story.
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:28, archived)

Oh. That's a shame. The best Scifi I read in ages was The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.
I also want to read The Martian before seeing the film but it looks a bit long.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:29, archived)

Haven't read that, I do like a lot of Heinlein's books, but he was a bit of a strange guy
Time Enough for Love is a good one, does go on quite a bit though, similar to Stranger in a Strange Land, but they're both great reads
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:33, archived)

that basically is true
it's an ok story if you love video games and are over 30
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:32, archived)

Oh there's still hope then. I quite liked Wreck it Ralph.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:32, archived)

also, you'll probably finish it quite quickly as it's an easy read
so if you hate it, you haven't really lost much time
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:44, archived)

That is true, I guess
If you haven't read it, The Gap Series is a great little series of books by Stephen Donaldson, the first one, The Real Story, is really short too, so it's a good way to test if you like the setting and characters
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:05, archived)

not really interested in books about clothing shops, soz

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:25, archived)

lol

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:36, archived)

I don't tend to read books, but I do enjoy a good audiobook
Richard Dawkins' Greatest Show on Earth has a great section explaining The Lenski Experiment, which is worth a read/listen.
( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:13, archived)

do you own a fedora?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:15, archived)

I bet he has all the programmes neatly rolled up in each half pint glass from every beer festival he's ever been to, each one filled with tasting notes

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:21, archived)

I don't go to beer festivals and I don't own a fedora
I thought the chapter on Lenski was genuinely interesting, so I thought I'd share.
( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:31, archived)

:D
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:31, archived)

Yeah. I'm reading Anna Funder's Stasiland at the minute, that's quite good and she's a good writer.
After that I've got God Bless You, Mr Rosewater! to look forward to.

Read Player Piano a while back, that was great and all.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:16, archived)

I went through a phase of reading nothing but Kurt Vonnegut.
I'd happily go through it again.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:20, archived)

The only other one I've read is Slaughterhouse Five.
But I've not really ever heard anyone complain about him.

I'm trying to alternate fiction and non-fiction at the moment, mix it up a bit.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:22, archived)

that's the only one of his i've read

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:46, archived)

I would recommend everything he's ever written.
Player Piano is about the only one that's played straight, though - everything else is slightly bonkers.
I thought the film version of Breakfast Of Champions was an admirable effort, too.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:49, archived)

cat's cradle freaks me out to this day

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:53, archived)

So it goes.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:58, archived)

I probably should do that. I've got them all on my e-reader.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:56, archived)

Quran

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:21, archived)

I considered trying to read the Bible from cover to cover, a while back.
Then I remembered that I already knew how it ended.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:23, archived)

i read a significant portion of the bible when i was bored in a hotel one evening
hardly any wank material in it
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:26, archived)

I usually just go for a couple of pints then have a wank when I'm in a hotel.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:27, archived)

And that's why you're banned from the hotel bar.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:31, archived)

And occasionally help guests with their luggage.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:32, archived)

lol

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:32, archived)

What about the bit where Lot's daughters get him drunk and fuck him?
You could totally make a porno out of that premise.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:29, archived)

did he like that? not a LOT!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 17:00, archived)

Quran Quran

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:54, archived)

save a prayer (for allah)
girls not on film

i don't know enough about islam or duran duran to keep this up and i'm not sure i want to encourage this kind of behaviour on this particular forum so ah'm oot
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:25, archived)

haha, 'books'. what a square!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:27, archived)

I was going to ask if anyone had seen any films,
but I thought I'd make myself look clever by pretending that I can read.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:32, archived)

I red 'Pets' with my daughter. It has soft chewable pages and a mirror on the front.
It has 8 pages including the cover.
Page 2 has some squiggly lines
Page 3 has a picture of a dog
Page 4 has some dots
Page 5 has a picture of a rabbit
Page 6 has some zigzag lines
Page 7 has a picture of a cat.

Overall it was a good read, I felt the characters needed development but I'm looking forward to the next book in the series, 'The Farm'.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:27, archived)

I'd recommend the "That's not my..." series.
Get a bit samey, after a while, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:34, archived)

I'd recommend Burglar Bill.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:37, archived)

Anything by the Ahlbergs, really.
Although they're probably for slightly older children than babies.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:39, archived)

All I remember from Burglar Bill is that there was a tape that came with it where the bloke done the voices of Bill and the Baby.
And that I enjoyed it a lot.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:43, archived)

^28 at the time ahahaha

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:43, archived)

That's a pretty irresponsible suggestion, that book completely failed to show the severe consequences of crime and I'm not trying to raise a career criminal here.
Or at least not a shit one who steals peoples fucking toothbrushes.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:43, archived)

+bum

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:45, archived)

I went to the library the other week and they had at least 10 books from the series.

( Zuowan, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:43, archived)

Yeah they look good, an excellent indroduction to the principles of deductive reasoning.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:47, archived)

did her out of the ting tings write a book?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:48, archived)

You clearly win the book thread with this excellent article
And I can't wait for the follow up review
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:40, archived)

The next book introduces some exciting new characters (including and limited to cow, sheep and pig) and is a different colour.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:45, archived)

'red'?
sounds like you're reading at the appropriate level
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:40, archived)

Louise Mensch and her Magical Black & Decker Workbench

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:01, archived)

That woman is both dazzlingly stupid and quite unpleasant.
See also: Priti Patel.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:03, archived)

I bought Dostoyevsky's The Idiot about 6 years ago and I've still not been fucked to make it past the first chapter.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:01, archived)

Chapter two is just a mirror

( Zuowan, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:08, archived)

I managed nearly half of The Brothers Karamazov, before giving up.
Once I'd got to the bit that was referenced in The X-Files, I lost my motivation to continue.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:08, archived)

Apparently if you want to get into Russian literature it's best to start with some of the smaller books where not much happens before graduating to the massive books where not much happens.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:17, archived)

I shan't be trying again.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:20, archived)

gave up on atlas shrugged after 100 pages

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:13, archived)

Yeah, I know someone who went through it but on hindsight wished they hadn't bothered.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:15, archived)

radio times tv guide

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:16, archived)

Just press the 'guide' button on your remote grandad.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:17, archived)

fuck that, bbc told me to press the red button once and all it did was turn my tv off

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:20, archived)

I hope you put your foot through it and sent them the bill.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:26, archived)

Yeah.
it was alright.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 16:36, archived)

themetapicture.com/media/funny-wish-stars-space.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:37, archived)

so true
upvoting this
( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:38, archived)

i.imgur.com/go4GeUe.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:40, archived)

also upvoting

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:49, archived)

That might well be my favourite joke.
I really, really wish I'd thought of it.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 17:06, archived)

That poster seems to be writing a cheque that Christianity can't cash.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:43, archived)

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Lee Harvey Oswald
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:43, archived)

Well, that's just silly.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:48, archived)

Limp Bizkit were shit

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:47, archived)

"Back the fuck up while we fuck this track up"
At least they had the decency to warn listeners.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:50, archived)

And who can forget the great pear of wisdom that is -
"Hey, kid, take my advice / You don't wanna step into a big pile of shit"
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 17:07, archived)

They were a 'nu metal' act, what did you expect?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:53, archived)

castaway by lucy irvine
i've read it before, but i really enjoyed it
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 31 May 2016, 16:48, archived)

I confess that I've never heard of that,
but wikipedia lists Irvine's occupation as "adventurer", which sounds great.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 17:04, archived)

the 1980's oliver reed film by the same name was based on her book
she was rather naive, but it's a good read
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 31 May 2016, 17:07, archived)

No, I can't read, soz

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 31 May 2016, 17:20, archived)

Strange Tide: Christopher Fowler.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 31 May 2016, 20:03, archived)

since no-one seems willing to use that thread to imply that someone unlawfully entered mcbeef's orifice, let's have a new one
topic TBC
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 12:59, archived)

quite a few people here dropped out of university
What have you given up on, and what was the reason?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:01, archived)

I gave up in the UK, obvs
Broken britain etc
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:02, archived)

I gave up on /talk
I think the reasons why are painfully obvious.

#b3xit
( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:04, archived)

still came back though, dintcha
they all come back one way or another. ahaahhahahahahahahahaaaa
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:08, archived)

I'm Farage-ing it up in this business

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:09, archived)

The question is, why did he bother?

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:47, archived)

I'm in my last week of work here before I leave for pastures new
I just needed something to fill my time.
( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:54, archived)

I can think of 42 things on the internet that are better than /talk

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:03, archived)

i can't think of many that aren't pornography

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:05, archived)

I think we all regret fingering you as a diddler instead of a certain other board regular
Still, not taking back anything said about your matrix coat and shades
( Zuowan, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:47, archived)

Who should you have fingered for diddling?

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:09, archived)

the one that did all the diddling, probably

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:13, archived)

They'd probably enjoy all that fingering. Dirty bastard.

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:14, archived)

Can't believe you missed out on all the "fun"
www.dailydot.com/fandom/tom-milsom-underage-sex-scandal/
( Zuowan, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:35, archived)

Hexachordal was a paedo rapist?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 14:51, archived)

is this mock surprise or did you really not know?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:55, archived)

I didn't know.
Is he not in jail?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 15:08, archived)

Doesn't look like it
From what I've read, no one has pressed charges.
( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:11, archived)

Gosh, I had no idea

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:54, archived)

My hopes and dreams.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:06, archived)

having them in the first place is where you went wrong

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:09, archived)

True, if you don't have them you can't get sad when you fail to realize them.
These days I'm following the path of getting minorly wound up by the inconsequential instead.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:13, archived)

See also: children

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:14, archived)

If you have enough of them you become too exhausted to be sad.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:16, archived)

university is the biggest one for me
i'm sure i've given up on a project half way through but can't think of any right now. that sounds like i see everything through to the end but realistically it's just that i never start anything
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:07, archived)

there are videogames i've never bothered to complete. does that count?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:20, archived)

I feel guilty about the books I've never finished reading
but then again, fuck James Joyce
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:56, archived)

the only thing i know about james joyce is that one of my favourite bands are named after one of his short stories
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_Gallants_(band)
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:05, archived)

oh man, two gallants are boss
i saw them live a little while back
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:09, archived)

they're fucking brilliant live
i've seen them quite a few times over the years
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:14, archived)

I tried, I gave up

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:09, archived)

Having quit uni, I decided to teach myself html, but I got bored and gave up.
I then embarked on some Microsoft Certified course in network engineering, but the company running the course insisted I go through the Office User Specialist course, first - naturally, I got bored and gave up.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:35, archived)

I gave up on this po

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:40, archived)

i tried to give you up
but my heart won't let me
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:43, archived)

take a strong laxative

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:00, archived)

university, first time round
because I was an idiot and shouldn't have been there
( Zuowan, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:43, archived)

us, baby

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:49, archived)

I think someone probably lawfully entered your bum

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:02, archived)

yeah, i had to have a rectal thermometer administered once
that was weird
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:09, archived)

Nurses can be such a pain in the butt

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:10, archived)

Ask Gonzo, he can tell you about that.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:20, archived)

At some point I probably will
#stillbros
( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:24, archived)

cool

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:02, archived)

yeah man
for cats AND as a cucumber
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:05, archived)

never the twain should meet

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:10, archived)

scares the shit out of the cats

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:15, archived)

genetic memory apparently
cats evolved from french beans, marrows are their natural predator
or some shit I dunno
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:20, archived)

lol

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:24, archived)

Will Roy take Rashford? I dunno, I will later

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:07, archived)

I bet he does

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:07, archived)

Take all 5 strikers? Or drop sturridge?

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:12, archived)

drop sturridge

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:14, archived)

We'll see I suppose , roy is very loyal to his players

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:17, archived)

yeah, probably won't be any shock changes

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:22, archived)

5 strikers, blimey

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:04, archived)

god i hope so/not
delete as applicable
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:07, archived)

Italy don't look threatening this year

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:10, archived)

Nah, in transition I think

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:11, archived)

Doubt it, most of the lesser Houses in the Riverlands have turned away from Walder Frey since the Red Wedding.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:17, archived)

I didn't watch top gear, soz

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:23, archived)

Don't blame you, it went shit after Gus Fring died.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:54, archived)

more importantly, will ledley make the cut?
#prayforledley
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:56, archived)

also, here's a reminder of who's who in the sweepstake:

Country	                No.	User
Hungary	                1	Mr. Tea
Czech Republic	        2	The Doveston
Northern Ireland	3	Gormo
Slovakia	        4	wimbley
Turkey	                5	brian clough's pitchside guffs
Sweden	                6	Smash Monkey
Wales	                7	SS
Italy	                8	mongychops
Croatia	                9	2 Can Chunder
Romania	                10	Richard mcbeef
Switzerland	        11	Two Hats
Portugal	        12	Windy Pig
France	                13	broadsword
Albania	                14	tangledupinblue
Iceland	                15	Major Turd
Poland	                16	Moon Girl Technologies
Ukraine	                17	Grrrmachine
Russia	                18	spanishfly
Belgium	                19	Sir Sand GOBLIN
Germany	                20	MONO!
Republic of Ireland	21	Reverend Fister
Austria	                22	manolith
Spain	                23	artifus
England	                24	monster munch

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:59, archived)

go floreda!

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:05, archived)

That was ages ago.
Haven't they picked a winner, yet?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:06, archived)

shambles has some other name now but it's not like he's going to win so i doubt it matters
who's got the best chance of beating mono?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:07, archived)

spain - artifus

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:09, archived)

I'm sp-artifus!

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:12, archived)

no, I'm sp-artifus!

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:13, archived)

''''''||
==:(=====
''''''||
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:19, archived)

cool
fingers crossed then
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:16, archived)

france (broadsword) should do well, considering the tournament's in france
also, wales obvs
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:17, archived)

having looked at the groups it seems my lot may not even get to the knockout stage :(

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:21, archived)

Not if their footballers go on strike

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:28, archived)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-36304792

"I realized that on the internet, and especially on Reddit, it is possible to intrude on people's realities in a very unexpected way. If you have a bit of a knack for storytelling, you can redirect the thread of a conversation in any direction. With a single, strategically designed comment, a simple debate about cookware can become Klingon erotica. A discussion on urban planning can morph into an Edwardian romance with gay seagulls. The sky is the limit, really."
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:27, archived)

Some autistic prick on reddit accused me of 'whataboutery' because I posted an on-topic conversation but finished with 'the plp aren't much better though'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:33, archived)

as in the parliamentary labour party?

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:35, archived)

yes.
My main rant was about cameron being a slimy cunt who will say anything. As in keeping with the topic of him encouraging young people to vote after chucking them off the register.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:37, archived)

I just don't understand that 'whataboutery' criticism. It sounds like something somebody said once and then it got picked up like a traffic cone on the way home from the pub and now it gets stuck any old where looking ridiculous. like 'dog whistle'
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:43, archived)

and omnishambles

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:46, archived)

Or 'strawman'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:46, archived)

Not to mention "ad hominem".

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:50, archived)

I think you need to 'check your privilege' mate.
Although we might just harbour different views in which case you're clearly suffering from 'internalised misogyny'.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:53, archived)

ur nan suffers from internalised misogyny, m{x:x^2=64, x>0}.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:55, archived)

I ought to look up the meaning of that one.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:56, archived)

stop subtly oppressing everyone with your language
WOmeaning please
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:05, archived)

I'm using my mother tongue.
Can't get more matriarchal than that.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:08, archived)

I'm using your grand-mother tongue.
ON MY WILLY
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:10, archived)

#everydaymysoggyknee

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:13, archived)

Can you give it back to her when you're done?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:13, archived)

Someone needs to mansplain this to me

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:14, archived)

'dog whistle' just means 'platitudes that appeal to spastics' doesn't it?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:47, archived)

^ ^ ^ all of the above

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:48, archived)

I think it's a useful idea. Once you've learned to spot it, it's everywhere.
"Western military intervention is destabilizing the Middle East and helping to radicalize a whole generation of Muslims" -- "But whatabout ISIS? Are they justified in beheading Christians, then?"

"ISIS and other militant Islamist groups are committing terrible atrocities" -- "But whatabout American bombers killing innocent civilians? That's OK, is it?"

...and around and around it goes.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:53, archived)

Is it really whataboutery in that second example?
They're quite closely linked and ISIS would probably have fewer supporters and commit fewer atrocities if America committed fewer cases of infanticide.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:56, archived)

I dunno, I just pulled a couple of examples off the top of my head.
The point is just that when you criticize Islamist nutters, someone will assume you're a shill for the American/British/Israeli government. Criticize the actions of these governments in the Middle East and someone will decide you've got a hard-on for Osama bin Laden. Criticize some of the more extreme and counterproductive tendencies in modern feminism and someone will decide you're a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal who hates women. Criticize actual misogynists and someone will decide you're a 'Feminazi'.

And a very common way to express all this stupidity is to start sentences with "But whatabout..." and then describe some terrible thing that your opponent presumably supports or thinks isn't important.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:03, archived)

Well, I find the good thing about being a misanthrope is you don't really have to pick sides very often; it's just dickheads, dickheads all the way down.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:06, archived)

Mr Tea you should read this book
www.amazon.co.uk/So-Youve-Been-Publicly-Shamed/dp/0330492292/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:09, archived)

I've been meaning to read that. And The Psychopath Test.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:09, archived)

brilliant and frightening

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:11, archived)

Yeah I think I've heard of this book, sounds interesting.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:04, archived)

it's probably in this list somewhere
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_rhetorical_terms
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:01, archived)

^ projecting

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:05, archived)

it's true, I do look ridiculous

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:06, archived)

i reckon he should indulge in some fuckeroffery

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:36, archived)

I wish i'd have used that now.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:37, archived)

do... do they not know you can do that in a regular conversation?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:36, archived)

It requires you to be able to think faster than you talk.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:38, archived)

ha!
clearly a vanishing skill...
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:39, archived)

This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn't abide by our community standards. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs.
( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:29, archived)

OK I'd like to learn more
please tell me more
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:32, archived)

for instance, are there biscuits?

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:32, archived)

do you and mary have a communal tea/coffee fund or do you just bring in your own and keep them separate?

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:33, archived)

how do you go about booking time off? does there have to be cover all the time, or is it OK to close up the office sometimes and just kick back?

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:34, archived)

what's the most annoying habit mary has as a co-worker?

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:34, archived)

openly stroking her penis

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:37, archived)

Hello new person. Please read our <a href="http://www.b3ta.com/features/faq/">FAQ</a>. Cheers.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:38, archived)

the new top gear's quite good

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:38, archived)

^ Blatant lies from the Doveston right there ^

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:47, archived)

nah it's great, joey from friends is really funny
not sure about the guy they got to play chandler though
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:53, archived)

I'm going to watch it exactly as much as I did the old top gear

( Zuowan, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:49, archived)

^
Activism hasn't been so easy since they said I should be boycotting Soda Stream.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:57, archived)

:-D
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:47, archived)

the antichrist

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:49, archived)

8-D
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:52, archived)

8-O
( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 13:54, archived)

i can't believe it's actually named that because of ol' john wayne

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:10, archived)

that was how I stumbled across the little fellow...google seems to have forgotten the bobbitt saga, back in the mists of the last century

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:15, archived)

people getting their knobs lopped off are 10 a penny in this new fangled era
t'weren't like this in my day
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:19, archived)

^

( vladimir, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:20, archived)

bottom get

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:32, archived)

we need a new thread but two hats is on holiday
:(
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:44, archived)

the selfish prick could post from his phone

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:48, archived)

he'd accidentally join isis or something, the senile old fool

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:50, archived)

lol he's so old

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:59, archived)

haha i know

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:01, archived)

he would look good in a burka

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 14:59, archived)

he looks good in anything, to be fair

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:02, archived)

Whilst walking through Luton, yesterday, I saw a woman lift up her veil in order to sniff a perfume sample.
I saw part of her face, so I expect that her god will punish her.
Looking back, I should have warned her - no doubt she'll get a terrible shock when she dies and goes to hell.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 15:07, archived)

I've just noticed b3ta is hosted on German servers, so I'm going to vote leave just to spite you all.

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:17, archived)

I don't think you have the faintest inkling of how the EU works m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:19, archived)

Its just a thing that creates dirty forrins to come and take our jobs
Like the zombies in Plants VS Zombies
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:50, archived)

no stupider than some peoples' reasons

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:20, archived)

Pretty much my reason for saying it

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:29, archived)

Hooray for Captain Explainajoke!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:25, archived)

I don't get it

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:45, archived)

*organizes massive party with a huge hand-embroidered banner saying DON'T GO SUPERMATT WE LOVE YOU!!!*

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:20, archived)

sorry, i'm busy that day

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:21, archived)

GEHEN SIE NICHT SUPEMATT WIR LIEBEN DICH!!!

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:22, archived)

What makes you think we all live in the UK?

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:23, archived)

Easy access to Double Deckers.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:29, archived)

there are probably hundreds of double deckers within 5 mins walk from here
and they can fucking stay there too
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:31, archived)

#ignoringdoubledeckers

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:33, archived)

:(

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:37, archived)

:(

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:44, archived)

:)

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:47, archived)

:)

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:49, archived)

:|

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:05, archived)

:/

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:05, archived)

:O

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:07, archived)

* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
g                                               g
o /     \             \            /    \       o
a|       |             \          |      |      a
t|       `.             |         |       :     t
s`        |             |        \|       |     s
e \       | /       /  \\\   --__ \\       :    e
x  \      \/   _--~~          ~--__| \     |    x
*   \      \_-~                    ~-_\    |    *
g    \_     \        _.--------.______\|   |    g
o      \     \______// _ ___ _ (_(__  \   |    o
a       \   .  C ___)  ______ (_(____  |  /    a
t       /\ |   C ____)/      \ (_____  |_/     t
s      / /\|   C_____)       |  (___   /  \    s
e     |   (   _C_____)\______/  // _/ /     \   e
x     |    \  |__   \\_________// (__/       |  x
*    | \    \____)   `----   --'             |  *
g    |  \_          ___\       /_          _/ | g
o   |              /    |     |  \            | o
a   |             |    /       \  \           | a
t   |          / /    |         |  \           |t
s   |         / /      \__/\___/    |          |s
e  |           /        |    |       |         |e
x  |          |         |    |       |         |x
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:11, archived)

You go too far, Mr. Tea.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:12, archived)

It's what I do.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:12, archived)

Oh dear.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 10:13, archived)

this is the most pressing case for brexit i've ever seen

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:16, archived)

goatsexit

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:16, archived)

Now I want some Rolos :(

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:17, archived)

Awmayt
I haven't had Rolos in time
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:20, archived)

I feel a new hashtag coming on...

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:22, archived)

That sounds like you really need to do a poo.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:37, archived)

#brownloading

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:45, archived)

#ROLO

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:49, archived)

PP this NOW.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:46, archived)

That video you made to taunt Grrry was hilarious.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:40, archived)

Despite being on the side of loving Double Deckers, I have to agree with this

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:46, archived)

it felt good to make

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:50, archived)

I just watched it again.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:52, archived)

i got a tingle in my giblets

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:55, archived)

Our easygoing sense of humour.
You unutterable cunt.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:31, archived)

^Hitler Boy

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:33, archived)

i don't think that's how it works
hth
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:31, archived)

I'm voting dunno, soz

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:34, archived)

is that on the ballot or do you have to draw your own box?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:38, archived)

He's going to draw a little carp and then tick that.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:44, archived)

There must be a dunno option

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:54, archived)

I'd quite like the option to vote against having a referendum.
I don't get a say in anything else the Tory pricks do, so why are they suddenly so bothered about my opinion?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:06, archived)

they're not

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:07, archived)

You're right, they aren't.
I assume it's just to deflect any criticism of the inevitable Brexit?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:14, archived)

if i waste my time voting and the cunts do another one in a few years i'm billing them for my time

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:37, archived)

good luck with that

( $$ ✅, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:36, archived)

I don't think he needs luck, it can't be that hard to go to a place and tick a box
He might get it on the third or fourth go anyway
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:37, archived)

It's a cross, m8

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:40, archived)

either/or

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:45, archived)

there's a guy singing christmas songs in the office
i'm not sure how to deal with this, should i hit him?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:10, archived)

Yes.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 10:11, archived)

YES FAM

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:13, archived)

which ones?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:15, archived)

that one that goes "mary's boy child, jesus christ was born on christmas day"

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:17, archived)

no m8
it's Windy that works with Gerald. Besides, the production on that album is amazing
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:19, archived)

When a Child is Born blaring out until all hours

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:24, archived)

Why doesn't this make any sense to me?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 10:25, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=beCYGm1vMJ0
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:27, archived)

aw I like that one

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:21, archived)

^Best Christmas song, in all fairness

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:22, archived)

Stop The Cavalry is the best Christmas song.
Mainly because it isn't actually a Christmas song.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:40, archived)

By Boney M? That's an awesome song, only a complete cunt would resent someone for singing that.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:33, archived)

That one David bowie did about sex with children.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 10:17, archived)

"Our finest gifts," eh, Dave?

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:19, archived)

It's nearly Eid.
Insist that he sing something more appropriate to the season.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:17, archived)

Everyone has Eids

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:42, archived)

well apparently it's newsworthy that more4 showed 'white christmas' on a may bank holiday
so on reflection, yes you should hit him
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:25, archived)

Drown him out by shouting easter songs.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:28, archived)

There are Easter songs?

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:47, archived)

German servers? How do you know that?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 10:17, archived)

Found the IP of the server, and then did a whois against that

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:26, archived)

why?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:27, archived)

because he's a giant nerd
do you not remember supermatt?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:29, archived)

not really, no

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:31, archived)

Dunno. Was just curious for a split second.

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:32, archived)

they also host scat porn

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 10:28, archived)

bottom get

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 13:45, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 6:48, archived)

morning
are you excited that all your usual forum chums will be back today?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:11, archived)

excited isn't the word, manolith

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:23, archived)

SEXUALLY excited then?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:14, archived)

Is "filled with morbid existential terror that this represents the totality of my social interaction" closer to the mark?

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:31, archived)

Hey, I say hello to the girl in the corner shop downstairs occasionally

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:39, archived)

And I bet you get a right lob-on every time.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:48, archived)

I got one just reading about it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:09, archived)

Talking to girls is well gay.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:09, archived)

Girls heart teh cock.
Which is about as gay as it gets.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:11, archived)

Morning
I'm rough as fuck, my own fault though should have stopped drinking at a reasonable hour
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:20, archived)

no sympathy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:23, archived)

None expected
I had every opportunity to stop and just carried on, I blame the weather
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:02, archived)

m0rning

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:22, archived)

alright dr1mble

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:23, archived)

1337

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:33, archived)

5318008

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:59, archived)

-={([|\/|0|2|\|1|\|9_2(4|\|])}=-

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:00, archived)

^so 1337 he's basically Neo^

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:02, archived)

Neo wishes he was a 1337 a H4><><0R as me
I steal teh d4t4b4ses without even thinking m(64*0.25)/2
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:17, archived)

'ning, Grrry & co.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:40, archived)

which one of us is Sue?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:48, archived)

tangles

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:14, archived)

Ian?

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:51, archived)

Susian

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:53, archived)

Makes sens

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:01, archived)

no, that's for the shit place
here, he's a lady
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:02, archived)

yeah it's hilarious there

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:09, archived)

:D

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:18, archived)

Morning.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 7:50, archived)

Alright Windy not-Miller

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 7:58, archived)

I can mill stuff.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 8:20, archived)

go on then, mill something right now

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:24, archived)

I haven't got a milling machine to hand.
Although, if you know anyone that has a 3 axis or 5 axis milling machine, or a 3D printer that they can sort something out for me that would be ace.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 8:40, archived)

a *real* miller wouldn't let that stop them

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:43, archived)

I'll mill my cock in to your nan

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 8:51, archived)

yes, her diamond fanny will reduce your winkle to flour
self-raising flour, eh eh eh
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:18, archived)

I have access to a 3D printer, not my own but someone I know, if you pay for the materials he can print off anything
From a model of your penis to, say, a model of someone else's penis, or even a famous celebrity penis
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:53, archived)

Really? How does it work? I need a part made for a motorbike clutch, it's plastic.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 9:04, archived)

Is the part particularly penis shaped?
If not we might have some difficulty
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:09, archived)

It's a short tube with a thread round the outside. If I gazed you some photos would you be able to ask him?
Happy to pay, the only one I've found online is nearly 300 quid for the bit, so if he can make a couple and either sell the himself or I'll sell them and give him the money or pay him for his time whatever.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 May 2016, 9:21, archived)

Did HR Giger design your bike?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:09, archived)

It was a collaboration between him and Robert Maplethorpe.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:16, archived)

oi oi

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:26, archived)

'sup dude?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:30, archived)

naink, just chillin

( mongychops, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:38, archived)

Good morrow

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:29, archived)

good MARROW, more like!!!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:30, archived)

It's a big'un, make no mistake

( SuperMatt, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:36, archived)

morning grrrmachine
how good it is remains to be seen
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:31, archived)

alright Eyeore

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:39, archived)

Not at all, I just didn't want to settle for 'good' when it might turn out to be 'great', 'super' or 'totes amazeballs'.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:47, archived)

hi

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:34, archived)

well hellooooo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:39, archived)

+ nurse!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:44, archived)

Terry Thomas was far superior to Wakko m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:46, archived)

whevs

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:20, archived)

alright?

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:49, archived)

yer m8, you?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 8:53, archived)

yeah, hungry though

( MONO!, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:00, archived)

morning grrrmolene

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:08, archived)

alright tangled
glad you could be here with us
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:12, archived)

I'm only here for today and tomorrow, so make the most of me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:13, archived)

If I only had two days left to live,
I'd hope I could find something better to do than this.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:15, archived)

bit of a forlorn hope though, eh

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:21, archived)

I'd at least squeeze in one last wank to porn with the volume turned up.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 May 2016, 9:31, archived)

morning
Stephen Hawking disses Donald Trump haha
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 31 May 2016, 5:28, archived)

Totally pushing that prick down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 31 May 2016, 0:23, archived)

evening

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 30 May 2016, 21:16, archived)

Ok

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 30 May 2016, 21:52, archived)

It's got to the point where this looks like an incorrect spelling.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 30 May 2016, 22:47, archived)

afternooning

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 30 May 2016, 17:43, archived)

Ok

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 30 May 2016, 19:24, archived)

yeah yeah
just read all that stuff below, can't stand superhero movies, they can fuck off. They even turned Star Wars into a superhero movie, that can fuck off too.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 30 May 2016, 20:00, archived)

Its all superhero movie trailers in the cinema
They all look identical, what's even the point
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 30 May 2016, 20:10, archived)

Stan Lee the Jews fault

( mongychops, Mon 30 May 2016, 20:23, archived)

Apostrophe alert
And I think you've been watching too much Upstart Crow.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 30 May 2016, 20:58, archived)

Fuck of

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 30 May 2016, 21:01, archived)

the Serenes

( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 30 May 2016, 21:06, archived)

Fuck HAVE

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 30 May 2016, 21:09, archived)

haha

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 30 May 2016, 21:18, archived)

Yeh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 30 May 2016, 21:50, archived)

Night time here
But the sentiment is appreciated.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 30 May 2016, 20:48, archived)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 13:56, archived)

dozer.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 30 May 2016, 13:58, archived)

Gormo

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 14:08, archived)

Who's your favourite Philip Marlowe?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 30 May 2016, 14:22, archived)

sian williams

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 14:24, archived)

BRB, Just imagining a Film Noir with Bill Turnbill and Sian Williams.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 30 May 2016, 14:31, archived)

donny hathaway y/n

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 14:55, archived)

Yer.
I'm just listening to Charles Bradley's first LP.

It's very good and on Daptone, the same label that signed Sharon Jones. Like her it's very authentic/traditional soul.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 30 May 2016, 14:57, archived)

I'm listening to Cigarettes After Sex, I quite like that whole hazy shoegaze sound

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 15:05, archived)

Do you like The Duke Spirit?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 30 May 2016, 15:07, archived)

they're alright, I first heard of them via Unkle

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 15:11, archived)

got Throbbing Gristle on now

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 15:13, archived)

Radioactive Man the now

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 15:20, archived)

you might like this, dunno
soundcloud.com/easyflow/eazyflow-late-70s-early-80s-synth-pop-mix

Tracklist:

Human League – Being Boiled (Fast Product) (1978)
Gary Numan – Are Friends Electric? (Beggars Banquet) (1979)
Visage – FadeTo Grey (Polydor) (1980)
Gary Numan – Cars (Beggars Banquet) (1979)
Kraftwerk – The Model (Kling Klang) (1978)
Yazoo – Don’t Go (Mute) (1982)
Depeche Mode – Just Can’t Get Enough (Mute) (1981)
Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams (RCA) (1982)
Donna Summer – I Feel Love (Casablanca) (1977)
New Order – The Beach (Factory) (1983)
Thomas Dolby – She Blinded Me With Science (Venice In Peril) (1982)
Freeez – IOU (Beggars Banquet) (1983)
Yazoo – Situation (Sire) (1982)
New Order – Confusion (Factory) (1983)
Depeche Mode – Shout (Mute) (1981)
Ultravox – Mr X (Chrysalis) (1981)
Spandau Ballet – To Cut A Long Story Short (Chrysalis) (1980)
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark – Enola Gay (Dindisc) (1980)
Soft Cell – Tainted Love (Some Bizarre Label) (1981)
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark – Electricity (Factory) (1979)
Depeche Mode – New Life (Mute) (1981)
Depeche Mode – Any Second Now (Altered) (1981)
Ultravox – Vienna (Chrysalis) (1981)
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 30 May 2016, 16:01, archived)

if it doesn't feature 'Revenge' by Ministry, I'm not interessovated, soz mateyplops xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 May 2016, 16:02, archived)

nooning

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 30 May 2016, 12:02, archived)

radical new thread direction m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 30 May 2016, 12:29, archived)

yes

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 30 May 2016, 12:53, archived)

Alright 'Joey Deacon'

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 30 May 2016, 12:45, archived)