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# Hello, I am very drunk. This is unusual for me.
Typing is a puzzle.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:13, archived)
# tell me more
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:14, archived)
# We had a barbeque. There were about 20 lesbian women there.
And me, and one other guy, and some children. And a nice lesbian left me half a bottle of vodka to go with all the cider I'd drunk. You'll be glad to know I was a good man and cooked the MEAT over FIRE and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:18, archived)
# :( wish I got invited to lesbian barbeques.
They were fit lesbians, right?
Not the scary manly ones
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:19, archived)
# Oh no. As far as I can tell the lesbian hierarchy goes of how fat and short they are.
We had some Lesbian QUEENS there tonight. There were perhaps two straight women there. One of whom was unearthly thin, not in a good way. The other was 23 and nicely curvy, but completely uninterested in me :(
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:24, archived)
# Well sounds like you had your chance with the curvy one, she's mine now.
You definitely mean curvy as opposed to sturdy?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:26, archived)
# As far as know she has a boyfriend.
I've known her since we were young, and I once made her cry by refusing to let her win at connect four. I wouldn't normally be interested, but she was the only straight girl there and I was already drunk when she arrived.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:32, archived)
# ...plus you know you're better than her at connect 4
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:33, archived)
# I'm not even that good at connect four.
'ello mof.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:34, archived)
# Hello :)
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:37, archived)
# Well, maybe you should have offered to let her win at connect four this time in return for sex.
I had a scary night out with the ward staff last night. Just 20 letchy nurses in their mid-30s and me, as my consultant abandoned me in the pub fairly early on.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:35, archived)
# Now THAT sounds like a missed opertunity right there.
I;ve spelt opertunity wrong. Fuck it.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:38, archived)
# Or said something SAUVE like...
"Play connect two with me and we'll BOTH win".
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:38, archived)
# With 20 lesbians there, including your mum, it's not quite that easy.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:43, archived)
# I have just been shopping. I bought a crate of sol beer, a litre of sainsburys gin, a litre of Tanqueray gin and 6 litres of tonic water.
I already had a crate of carlsberg, a crate of real ales, a litre of whiskey, a bottle of vodka, a bottle of Captain Morgan's spiced rum, a bottle of coconut rum, a full 20 bottle wine rack and 3 bottles of champagne. but didn't fancy any of them.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:17, archived)
# I've been sent to the shop four times today, for ice and wine and plastic cups and milk and coke and stuff.
People are rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:20, archived)
# Hahaha, the lesbians made you their shopping bitch
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:27, archived)
# Well, one is my mum. And another is her "Partner"
So yeah.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:29, archived)
# Ah.
No offence meant
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:30, archived)
# None taken. I'm drunk and cheerful and not entirely sure what's going on.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:33, archived)
# I'm not sure if I'm drunk. I took a picture of myself on the webcam but still can't work out if I look drunk
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:47, archived)
# I'm happily sure I'm drunk out my skull.
I still have half a plastic cup of vodka and coke here, and a full can of strongbow for afters.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:50, archived)
# You should get hold of some red wine to even it out.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:54, archived)
# There's a bottle of red wine downstairs.
With enough encouragement I'd probably go and get it. But I like not having to have my stomach pumped.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:57, archived)
# We don't really do stomach pumping.
Well, during 4 months of A&E I never saw it happen. We generally just left them to sleep it off in a pool of their own sick. If I was feeling generous I'd put a drip up so their hangover wasn't so bad.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 0:00, archived)
# No, on closer inspection I appear to be pissed off about something. I'd better start acting like it.
FUCK YOU ALL FOR WHATEVER REASON
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:51, archived)
# As shall I. Mu, go out and buy me lime for my gin and tonic!
chop chop
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:30, archived)
# There is a 24 hour Spa up the road.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:33, archived)
# Well you'd better hurry up then. BUY ME LIMES

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:37, archived)
# Well this has cheered me up
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:39, archived)
# The lime bra!
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:42, archived)
# lol :D
(herman:D, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:50, archived)
# Oooh, just went to make myself a gin and tonic and found a bottle of bombay sapphire, a bottle of baileys, a bottle of limoncello and some weird raspberry liquor I'd forgotten about.
I should totally have a party!

if I had any friends.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:25, archived)
# Are you squinting at the keyboard
to try to stop the letters from moving?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:19, archived)
# Not quite that bad. But I'm having to go slowly, and am making copius use of the delete key.
It only took a couple of tries to type that.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:25, archived)
# You're doing well
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:28, archived)
# This means a lot, coming from an ONLINE GIRL.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 23:40, archived)
# Don't be silly
There aren't any real girls on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 0:04, archived)