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[challenge entry] Plug-in baby

Crucifies my enemies... Not sure how, like...
And they are useless, aren't they? What are they for? Can't even brew a cup of tea properly. PFFT!

From the Pointless USB devices challenge. See all 247 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 12:42, archived)
# ONOES!
I has Jeremy's head staring eyes!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 12:54, archived)
# But none of Jeremy's magnificent teefs.
Tis a slow time on the board... How goes it, Ghosty?
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:00, archived)
# Well obviously they'll grow in with time.
not too bad. At work. Dealing with idiots.
Just had to deal with someone at the other place that was giving shit to one of my staff as they'd booked a non-en suite double room for £50 and assumed they would get an en suite.
When they got exactly what they booked for they started shouting at people.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:44, archived)
# Do you get anyone saying:
"Haven't you heard of the phrase 'the customer is always right'?"
And then they proceed to look like a smug bastard and expect you to fold to their irrefutable logic?
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:49, archived)
# Yes I have.
I just politely tell them the phrase is actually, 'The customer always thinks they are right.'
I did have a complaint against me once with a booking agency as a guest demanded, 'Why are you so fucking fat?' to which I replied, 'Because each time I fuck your mother she gives me a pie.'
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:58, archived)
# HOW IS BABBY PLUGGED IN?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:18, archived)
# WAY INSTAIN MOTHER??
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:41, archived)
# Well plugged into a motherboard obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:45, archived)
# He doesn't look much kop in the crucifying department does he!?
Unless you can update him to a killing machine via the USB!

Hello Zumf!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:24, archived)
# Hello Roman numeral man!
Where've you been?
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:47, archived)
# Hiding in my work I'm afraid!
But with it being January trade has slowed enough for me to have a bit of spare time again! :)

I often think of you as someone who lives near my mate has Zumf in his number plate I keep meaning to get a pic but never do....
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 14:42, archived)
# What, a proper custom numberplate?
Blimey! I know that after I started using the word I found out there was a very obscure Russian band called ZuMf. I have no idea what kind of music they play...
I'm not going to tell the story of how the word was invented becuase it's one of those stories that seems very interesting until you tell it.
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 15:00, archived)
# No it wasn't a proper custom but somehow it says it or it's very close.
I'm going to have to go and take a pic now....
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 16:09, archived)
# They'll just grow up and break the laws you've loved.
Is that a New Born? You won't be Feeling Good when it gets a bit Hyper in the terrible twos. But before you know it, it'll become a Screenager and not long afterwards leave home. It'll be Bliss with all the quiet and extra Space, at least until you get old and develop Dementia.
(I helped save b3ta! R.Soul hmmm, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:31, archived)
# It was a bit Overdue
But when it Escape(d) it turned out to be albino and got terrible Sunburn. The papers offered me quite a bit of money for the story, so I felt a bit Forced In to sell my Plug in Baby into the Showbiz lifestyle. I'm Ashamed.
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 13:45, archived)
# Maybe you should have put up more Resistance to them,
but I dUno some people find dealing with the papers a bit Problematique.
(I helped save b3ta! R.Soul hmmm, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 14:00, archived)
# You are a worthy adversary.
I wanted to end by calling you a Supermassive R.Soul, but you've been too nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 14:06, archived)
#
So you suggest we call a Recess to stop us Endlessly HAARPing on?
(I helped save b3ta! R.Soul hmmm, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 14:10, archived)
# Yes Please
We MUST have an Interlude before I Blackout.
(I helped save b3ta! Zumf Ham banjo, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 14:13, archived)
# Best. Thread. Ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 17:40, archived)
# Yayyy
(I helped save b3ta! Notorious P I G is deep undercover and reporting back on, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 21:04, archived)