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# the local farmers wanted to play a rousing game of keep away.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2004, 23:55, archived)
# I fulfilled a long-term desire the other day
by finally managing to purchase a rubber chicken.
I have no idea what to do with it now.

EDIT:HOW RUDE! Sorry WOO YAY and indeed, Houpla!
(, Thu 22 Apr 2004, 23:58, archived)
# i plan to buy
a mullet wig and meshback hat this weekend
(, Thu 22 Apr 2004, 23:59, archived)
# choke it
choke it hard



/inevitable
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:00, archived)
# You'd be amazed how unsatisfying that was.

(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:00, archived)
# bet it won't stop you from doing it again!
Wanking is like Pringles. Taste disgusting, but once you pop, you can't stop.

or something...
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:03, archived)
# Hiya...
... do me a favour and mail me? I've *temporarily misplaced* your email! :P
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:05, archived)
# well, ok
but you owe me BIG TIME!
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:06, archived)
# Thank youuuu!
I will be a subserviant chicken for the night if you wish*.


* Won't.
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:08, archived)
# what if
I asked nicely?
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:09, archived)
# Then I may reconsider.
*Goes and finds garters and stockings and such to look the part*
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:11, archived)
# Purleeeeease
be my subservient chicken!
My last one died on me.

don't make 'em like they used to
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:12, archived)
# I recommend stopping
when bleeding starts.

FACT taken from 1001 Mastabatory Tips for Kids- out now at all good booksellers
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:07, archived)
# (:
wise wise words
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:08, archived)
# starts?!
Oh crap, I thought that was normal!!

/faints
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:10, archived)
# Find a house that you can only reach
by zip line.
Utilise rubber chicken*

*May require a pulley-in-the-middle
/monkey island
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:00, archived)
# Haa Haa
Someone else remembers that evil game
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:01, archived)
# Evil?
I lived the best years of my life* inside the first 3 (4 was evil!)

*not entirely true
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:05, archived)
# Too much
sanity was lost playing those games
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:14, archived)
# ever since monkey island
i have always had a secret yearning for one
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:02, archived)
# I think mine came
from watching Fozzie bear on the Muppetts. He seemed so happy with it.

I was an impressionable youth.

What? Why are you all looking at me like that?
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:04, archived)
# mind the urine!
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:06, archived)
# can you make a tea towel chicken?
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:09, archived)
# woo yay!
that's great!
(, Fri 23 Apr 2004, 0:00, archived)