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# Don't know if you've seen this...


Its apparently true - My mate is at Durham - sorry couldn't get it larger but it says:

We have recently found several blockages in the showers in university accommodation, most commonly caused by human hair.

However, over the last term we found many of these blockages to be caused by large quantities pf what we have now determined to be semen. This is intolerable, and we shall be tracing the culprits by means of DNA matching if the problem persists

May we advise students who wish to masturbate to do so in the comfort of their rooms, rather than in the showers

....
(dethsd, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:19, archived)
# yes, seen it
there's a thread on the links board of different versions... but ta anyway...
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:20, archived)
# We have
seen this
(I helped save b3ta! Bazmonkey baws!, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:20, archived)
# this was in the newsletter/
Don't worry, they won't DNA test it, it'll cost hundreds.


/oh, links, apparently
(I helped save b3ta! drunkenoaf, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:21, archived)
# That and the fact that
universities always threaten to do stuff that is not legally enforcable
(I helped save b3ta! Bazmonkey baws!, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:22, archived)
# I just know the cost of reagents + technician's time + admin
and you're looking at £200 +

Unis are for the most part nice, but there are some total cunts in admin.
(I helped save b3ta! drunkenoaf, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:23, archived)
# not only that
but wouldn't it be hard to find a pure sample? you'd have hair, skin flakes and all sorts of things in there with bits of DNA.
And after multiplying the DNA with PCR it would be impossible to tell which of the strains where from the semen....
well.. you could look at the highest percentages of DNA (as it should be the stuff from the semen)
with the aid of RT PCR, but that would be very expensive indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:49, archived)
# do you watch too much csi?
or are you involved in a course about this kind of thing?
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 20:02, archived)
# em
I'm educated me. I know how to do DNA analysis and all that jazz.
in sweden my profession is called Biomedical Analyst. I think you people have another name for it
(I helped save b3ta! The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 20:28, archived)
# take a chunk of spunk
if there's a clear answer, hurrah! If that spunk is mixed spunk, however...

Paternity tests cost that much, as I understand it.
(I helped save b3ta! drunkenoaf, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 20:13, archived)
#
there would also be a human rights issue with enforcing students to provide a DNA sample with which to compare it against. assuming they dont already have students dna on file.

i think its some student who has got a temporary job in admin and nicked some uni headed paper
(I helped save b3ta! Ceteri, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:45, archived)
# newsletter
(I helped save b3ta! abandonnship, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:21, archived)
# We all have
(7ilby is somewhat nifty..., Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:21, archived)
# Well Deserved
(Wook13 Been away but is now ducking a fuck on, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:26, archived)
# That reminds me of that artist who made a mask of someones face out of 8 pints of his own frozen blood
Frozen blood penis?
(I helped save b3ta! Lizzy_Bee is a mac user now, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:32, archived)
# that
is a very horrid thought
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:35, archived)
# Was it flaccid at the time???
hyuk hyuk
(Wook13 Been away but is now ducking a fuck on, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:38, archived)
# what exactly?
(I helped save b3ta! Lizzy_Bee is a mac user now, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:41, archived)
# more
the frozen blood penis than anything else


but aren't they made of blood anyway?

confused..
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:45, archived)
# muscle surely
(I helped save b3ta! Lizzy_Bee is a mac user now, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:46, archived)
# who knows
to me they are a mystery.
i don't have one so have no idea and biology gave up on me at school
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:48, archived)
# Same.
but I'm not sure what else it could be made of really.
(I helped save b3ta! Lizzy_Bee is a mac user now, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:50, archived)
# aaaaah
thats vere true

perhaps we should ask the men on the board what their willy's are made of as opposed to just speculating
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:53, archived)
# Kind of a sponge like material
So I'm told. Basically we fill that spong with blood, and the volume and pressure of blood makes it point northbound. Hence why its not a good idea to chop one off without medical help!
(I helped save b3ta! DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 20:00, archived)
# could be a QOTW
(I helped save b3ta! Lizzy_Bee is a mac user now, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 20:05, archived)
# that could be an amusing tale
"if willy's were made out of anything else, what would they be made from"
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 20:09, archived)
# Answer suitable for girlies
Fluffy pillows, kitten purrs and puppy smiles!

Lets all awwwwwwwwwwww..........

ahem
(I helped save b3ta! DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 20:10, archived)
# hahah!
yeah, that.
(I helped save b3ta! Lizzy_Bee is a mac user now, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 20:20, archived)
# establishment notices
I had them going for ages with my photoshoped, printed-nicely-on-headed-paper notice which read

"due to a number of breakages, shits in excess of 5 KG must now be lowered by hand"
(Jack Rarebit ...We like chillies, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:49, archived)