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# that's MY DAD's swimming pool,
and he's like, a totally hot-shot LAWYER, and I didn't even INVITE that geek, and who are these LOSERS smoking POT in my fucking gazebo? You are all just sooooooooo busted. This was a College boys ONLY party. I'm calling the COPS.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:12, archived)
# I think you should be called Marni Kitten
.
(Mattyboy, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:14, archived)
# But, you let me
you know...touch.

*blush,snort,laugh,looks at shoes*
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:15, archived)
# I think
you're a little confused.

I'm SO not with Matt. I only date COLLEGE boys, okay?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:15, archived)
# *takes of nerdy glassess*
Ok, sorry to bother you.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:16, archived)
# *Puts friendly arm round weener*
lends him a $2000 armani suit, sunglasses and 3 kilos of hair gel

*straight to camera, but this time looking proud*
'and this guys my friend'...
(Mattyboy, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:54, archived)
# Gee,
thanks Matty, I'm sure Marni will fall for me now.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:56, archived)
# Bryan...
Is that... you?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:58, archived)
# Not yet,
as soon as Huey Lewis and the News turn up, then I'll change.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:59, archived)
# Yeah, they'll be along soon
I booked them to perform at the party as a favour as I'm improbably best friends with them. Even the bikers'll dance to them.
(Mattyboy, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 16:03, archived)
# on my GOD
what am I going to DO? Huey Lewis is nearly here already and my God-damn date stood me up! Stupid College boys...

I'm supposed to be going to be PROM QUEEN, goddamit! I can't be Prom Queen without a date!

...uh, Bryan?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 16:10, archived)
# Marni?
*twinkly eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 16:11, archived)
# Uh...
BRYAN?
(Bryan's Oddly Attractive Next Door Neighbour, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 16:14, archived)
# Sheri?
why, you're...you're...beautiful!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 16:15, archived)
# que gatecrashers riding Harley Davidsons
who drive around the house and generally scare the rest of the kids.
....what's that coming down the road? It's Dad and Mum in the car, they've come home early!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:15, archived)
# It's OK Marni
I'll talk with your mom (she does, after all, improbably fancy me).
(Mattyboy, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:18, archived)
# And the girls with the big breats
encircle the Dad, and he's soon happy. Whilst this is happening on the porch, the party holder and friends miraculously clean the house, and just before they open the door, one of them picks up the last beer bottle and hides it behind his/her back.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:22, archived)
# you guys...
...I, my God, I can't believe you'd do this for me... it's, like, totally amazing!

Jeez, and I've always been such a hard-nosed shallow bitch to you all...

I never realised...
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:25, archived)
# Thanks Mom,
Have you and Dad come to a decision about buying me a new car yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:28, archived)
# She's your mom?
Gee, she's so young...and I'm confused.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:29, archived)
# you're confused?
*gently takes spliff from Dr D's fingers*

You know what? I think you had a little too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:35, archived)
# Are you gonna
barf?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:37, archived)
# Look
her dad's joined us for a smoke too - yeah, even old people can 'hang loose' kids.

He, along with the 458,722 other groovy dads from various US sitcoms and films was also at Woodstock.

(I have a horrible feeling that Woodstock was entirely attended by 20 something Jewish actors from New York who had NO IDEA they'd end up spending their entire careers playing befuddled, mollycuddled but underneath it all quite groovy and kindly fathers that work in law firms)
(Mattyboy, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:43, archived)
# Now I just gotta hope my bitch sister doesn't grass me up
.
(Mattyboy, Thu 9 Jan 2003, 15:31, archived)