b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Making Safe Things Dangerous » Message 7467923

[challenge entry] perfect for halloween trick treats

From the Making Safe Things Dangerous challenge. See all 476 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! maclondon, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:39, archived)
# I doubt that would be as painful
as the 50000 mouth ulcers I have at the moment. :(
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:40, archived)
# SALT
make use of salt... employ the power of salt!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:41, archived)
# and plenty of nice
bitter citrus fruit XO
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:43, archived)
# Is there anything that cannot be cured with salt?!
I say no!

Except perhaps hyperkalemia.
(I helped save b3ta! Doomladen ms paint lover, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:45, archived)
# with hyperkalemia you just have to keep going until you
push on through to the other side... or at least that's what they told me in Texas
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:48, archived)
# *potassium chlorides*
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)
# :(
rub salt into them

its yukky but it works
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:42, archived)
# eep!
*passes 3 litre tube of bonjella*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:42, archived)
# *passes wire brush and dettol*
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:44, archived)
# Hahahaha!
you nawwty!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:49, archived)
# Hee hee !
You started it !

It's now my catchphrase for the week.

Suggested wire brush and dettol for cleaning toner out of the photocopier yesterday....which (unsurprisingly) got some funny looks :D
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)
# I thought I was
passing a wire brush this morning.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)
# ewww !
*clenches*
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:59, archived)
# *realises tbe is not bonjella, bu is KY and there's pubes all over it*
(likeajackhammer, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:44, archived)
# bugger!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:45, archived)
# There's a really amazing cure for those that I found once in a chemist.
It was a tube of gunk, I guess a bit like Bonjela but in a smaller tube, and more opaque - and it dried into a sort of medicated 'skin' over the ulcer about 30 seconds after applying it, so you could sleep in relative comfort. Then, when you woke up the next day, it had honestly healed by like 70%. I had one tube which lasted a year or so, then I didn't have any mouth ulcers for yonks and forgot all about it.

Have I been able to find it anywhere since? Have I fuckerslike. And I can't remember what it was called. Anyone have any ideas? :/
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:45, archived)
# DON'T TEASE ME LIKE THAT
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:48, archived)
# *applies it to nips*
*gyrates*

more like this?
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:49, archived)
# I have seen this advertised
the advertisement features a man dressed as a mouth ulcer being suffocated with clingfilm. It is deeply erotic and turned me into a blubbering mess of spluff.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:48, archived)
# nooo, isn't that just the Bonjela ad,
with the clingfilm represening its 'cooling' properties?
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)
# maybe
I was too busy coming out of every orifice to take in the detail.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:52, archived)
# totally...
(likeajackhammer, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:50, archived)
# Adcortyl (in orabase)
A kind of cement. It does work, but the ulcers need to be in the sort of place where the paste won't get rubbed away by the tongue.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:54, archived)
# THIS!
I'm sure that's it. Yeah, you're right about the rubbing, but if you can just fold your lip down or whatever for long enough for the stuff to set, you should be fine. Do it just before sleep, when you're not likely to be doing much, um, mouth stuff, and you'll wake up feeling shitloads better.

edit: Yep, I checked - that's definitely the stuff. Worked wonders for me, honest.
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)
# Yes.
I do have some, but the ulcers I have right now are in places where it gets rubbed off quite easily.

Boots have a relatively new thing which seems to burn the ulcers with some kind of burny acid applied from a cotton bud. It's really unpleasant to apply (and for some reason tastes of bacon), but it often really stops the ulcers from being painful.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 11:00, archived)
# i had some of that too
i suffer really bad from them, me doc perscribed it, forget the name tho :( But Coltan pelets are just as good. Little pills you wedge near the ulcer. Also use antibiotic mouthwash, really helps.

feel your pain tho! mouth ulcers are the devils work!
(Lexachu A buh? no, not a buh, a bomb!, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 11:11, archived)
# IGNORE THE SALT!
get some Boots "sore mouth gel" - it's bonjella with local anaesthetic.
Use the powers of pharmacology Luke!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:45, archived)
# SSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
lovely lovely salt
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:47, archived)
# quiet you
SALT salty salty salt is the only real cure... everything else is shamglam!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:49, archived)
# Anbesol ftw
Although it does look like piss in a bottle
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:48, archived)
# Anusol?
no that's summat different!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)
# mmm bottle of piss
www.b3ta.com/board/7390552
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:51, archived)
# fruit tea?
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:54, archived)
# o_0
(I helped save b3ta! Aenesis, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:54, archived)
# Why DID you do that?
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:55, archived)
# I haven't got the faintest idea.
It's not like I was a little kid or anything, I did it when I was about 19
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)
# this^
5 seconds of excruciating pain, then nothing.

you'll be able to jab pins into your ulcers, and feel no pain*

*not a recommended practice
(I helped save b3ta! - D - SharkTrousers, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:53, archived)
# Now he tells me!
*removes all the pins from her mouth*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:57, archived)
# Yes,
as a regular sufferer I know this to be the daddy of pain relief. I find that it affects the healing though. :(

It tastes nice, mind. Yummy. :D
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:56, archived)
# what's the cause of this recurrent horror?
i was always told the biggest cause of mouth ulcers was tiredness. unless you have teeth like a hacksaw and acid phlegm, obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:59, archived)
# It seems to be a genetic predisposition
and also I've had an awful lot of stress what with moving house and having to work. :(
I also seem to bite my mouth a lot too. I think my teeth have a vendetta against my mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 11:02, archived)
# Hmm.
Try a propolis tincture mouthwash, which should speed healing up from a week to about 3 days. 15-30 mg of zinc supplements daily might help, and you'll want to avoid tea and coffee which knacker your zinc reserves. Vitamin B pills can help an' all, and try brewing an infusion of sage and using it as a mouthwash.
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 11:16, archived)
# :)
You're a wise healer.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 11:29, archived)
# I don't care too much about the healing
As long as I can't feel anything!
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:59, archived)
# ver nice
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 10:42, archived)