b3ta.com board

Home » Messageboard » Alternative Xmas Cards » Message 7862093

Merry Christmas Children.

An image from my childhood...

From the Alternative Xmas Cards challenge. See all 279 entries (closed)

(

op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:26, archived)

You spent your childhood in my worst nightmares?

explains a lot...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:27, archived)

evil creatures!

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:29, archived)

N for Nundetta?

Also, I've just realised, Noel Edmonds doesn't actually look any older these days than he did about 20 years ago..

Is he ageing incredibly slowly, or did he age SUPER fast, and his body has just stopped getting older for a few years?

10 marks.

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:29, archived)

Clarkson's stopped ageing as well.

Although that's good, that gives me time to catch up and then rape him.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:31, archived)

Rape in the lighter sense of the word?

Or rape is in the "I hate him and want to make his butt bleed" sense of the word?

Also, flicking through the TV guide, both Question of Sport AND Coronation Street are starting.

TV IS LOOKING AT B3TA.

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:33, archived)

Lighter

I really, really would.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:33, archived)

Go for it.

Sounds like youtube material to me.

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:35, archived)

Phwoar.

There is no good porn on youtube. Youporn is better.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:35, archived)

Does that ACTUALLY exist?

Sounds like a goldmine.

Well, a pornmine.

Or a porcine.

Poor swine.

pours wine.

pores whine..

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:38, archived)

www.youporn.com

www.redtube.com

Happy Wednesday.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:39, archived)

Crikey!

There are... things!

And they're putting THINGS in them!

MY INNOCENT YOUNG EYES!!

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:44, archived)

Ahhhhhhyeah.

If everyone watched porn more often, the world would be a much happier place.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:45, archived)

I think this is true.

Try and get a government grant.

I think it would be an entertaining experiment.

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:47, archived)

I'm still trying to get my head around shooting the next big thing in adult entertainment.

Watch this space.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:48, archived)

We could combine the living room not touching the floor prospect

And create hover porn.

I'm fairly sure that hasn't been done =]

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:50, archived)

That might mix with what I'm planning actually.

Sort of.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:51, archived)

*patents*

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:53, archived)

The zero G cumshot

has been done

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:56, archived)

That would be an entertaining bit of space litter.

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:57, archived)

Jeremy Clarkson?

Ugh

(Pachey, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:37, archived)

I know, I know.

It's like the Lemmy thing, I suppose. But Clarkson's big, which is an important factor as well. Big cantankerous arsehole. Mmmm, lovely (there is something wrong with me).

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:38, archived)

Big? I never noticed that.

Fancying Clarkson is very very wrong.

(Pachey, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:40, archived)

I know, I can't help it.

I quite fancy James May as well.

And Hammond.

But mainly Clarkson.

*cries* I'm broken...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:41, archived)

Who's James May?

Is there anyone you don't fancy?

(Pachey, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:42, archived)

LOADS OF PEOPLE!

Anne Widdecombe, Condoleeza Rice, Ming Campbell...

He's the other old one off Top Gear.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:43, archived)

Condi is hot as fuck!

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:47, archived)

And people call me wrong.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:48, archived)

Not any more...

Waspy - that's just sick.

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:49, archived)

back to the roman showers?

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:55, archived)

CAPTAIN SLOW.

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:45, archived)

He's got a very nice bottom.

I saw it on that thing he did with Oz Clark.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:46, archived)

The wine thingie?

I saw a few episodes of that. My dad is a wine bummer.

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:48, archived)

Yeah the wine thingie

They had to sit in a jacuzzi and then get hosed down, and he's got a really lovely arse.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:48, archived)

I wouldn't know, as I've never seen it.

I shall take your word for it though...

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:52, archived)

It's lovely.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:53, archived)

No need to ask which bit of the Venn Diagram he's in then...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:39, archived)

In the same bit as Dara O'Brien

Or however it's spelt.

I know, I have the eyes of a blind person.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:40, archived)

What about Mark Kermode and Michael Portillo?

I have found both are alarmingly popular...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:41, archived)

Kermode yes, but only in full billy gear.

Portillo can fuck off.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:43, archived)

Thank God not Portillo at least...

See, you obviously do have SOME standards. Unlike a friend of mine who thinks he's all of teh sexeh...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:44, archived)

Bleurgh.

I wouldn't touch him with yours.

Any more?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:45, archived)

Phil Mitchell is another one she mentioned...

Mrs. Doom has a fondness for the following:

Ethan Hawke
Ed Norton
John Cusack
Other slightly weasely looking men.

I feel deeply flattered by this...

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:47, archived)

John Cusack....

There isn't a thing I wouldn't allow him to do to me. He's in the top five.

Ed Norton yes, but only when murderous.
Ethan Hawke yes, but only in Reality Bites.

Phil Mitchell NO.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:49, archived)

You have way better taste than my friend then...

That's two of her hotties crossed off now...

The murderous thing is slightly worrying.... Pol Pot?

(

Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:51, archived)

HAHA!

You wish. No, I do not fancy Pol Pot.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:53, archived)

I can understand Norton and Cusack

But Hawke is just a bit meh.

NOBODY CAN JUDGE ME, I OFFICIALLY HAVE LADYBITS NOW.

(

MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:54, archived)

I think she ment the sexy fun rape

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:36, archived)

If you wouldn't, I probably would.

Rule of thumb.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:38, archived)

Well, I wouldn't with Bernard Manning

(

fross Read your email on, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:40, archived)

Ah, neither would I

there are, of course, exceptions.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:41, archived)

Would

n't

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:29, archived)

have

___________________________n't

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:30, archived)

Wou....

Ashley no. No. NO! OH DEAR GODS MAKE IT STOP!

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:30, archived)

Good Grief!

Also - that's a very small pool cue....

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:30, archived)

Or are you just far aw...

*shot from stage left*

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:31, archived)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:33, archived)

thats a cane used to whip the skin off of the exposed hides

of excitable children on christmas day. Not a small pool cue, although, now that you mention it...

(

op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:34, archived)

They had the liquify tool during your childhood?

Lucky you ;P

(

PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 12:41, archived)