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Let it be known:

James T. Kirk can and will get into your pants.

From the Star Trek challenge. See all 522 entries (closed)

(Caustic Armadillo consists at least 30% out of custard, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:23, archived)

I find this strangely compelling

in my penis.

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:23, archived)

I find my penis strangely compelling.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:46, archived)

*bums*

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:24, archived)

*points*

(

Sir T. Skellington, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:24, archived)

I would have done him.

Not like this, obviously. Is he allergic to space bees?

Woo!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:24, archived)

I would only do him like this.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:26, archived)

I know I would

(

mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:32, archived)

I called him first.

Wait your turn.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:34, archived)

*whispers 'Denny Crane'*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:35, archived)

I had to look him up.

I'm too hungover to understand these references.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:39, archived)

His character in Boston Legal.

Gets turned on when the lady whispers his name at him.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:41, archived)

Ah right, I've never even heard of the show.

/out of touch

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:42, archived)

It's ace.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:43, archived)

Did someone say

"Bees"?

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:27, archived)

Aw, what a lovely bee.

what a lovely bee.Have an IGCSCEW*:

*Inter-Galactic Cross Series Compo-Entry Woo

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:39, archived)

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!

*hyper-hugs*

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:41, archived)

Yay!

Hello son!

Y'alreet?

EDIT: Off sick...

But feeling better now - my hangover's easing ;)

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:48, archived)

aisde from not being able to shift this cold,

yes!
the wifey starts her new job next week!
and my mum has signed up for the london bash!

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:50, archived)

London Bash

Still undecided whether to go

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:52, archived)

I'll be there

surely this is a good reason to come?

(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:54, archived)

GO GO, GO GO GO GO ,GO GO GO GO

GO GO THERE'S NO LIMIT!

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:54, archived)

But I think i'll feel out of place

On the grounds that I'm at least 15 years older than anyone else on this board!
I remeber when all this was fields etc

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:56, archived)

But b3ta is ageless

Seriously, it won't be a problem...

And even if you're 15 years older than me, you won't be as old as some of the b3tans I've met

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)

just do it!

how old are you?

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)

as old as my hair and a bit older than my teeth

as my nan use to say till the nasty accident with the pliers and her life savings

43

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:03, archived)

COME ON DOWN!!!

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:04, archived)

well maybe

I'll have to get my hair done though

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:06, archived)

yay!

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:11, archived)

Well there you go, you're not 15 years older than me...

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:06, archived)

he is from my age!

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:09, archived)

pfft

that's no age. I'm 43 this year. ( and a fine figure of a man. In Vino Veritas said so, so it must be true )

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:11, archived)

I think it's lovely that she decided to humour you in this way.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:12, archived)

you might have

5 years or so on me but I'm not nearly the eldest.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:07, archived)

Hurrah!

\o/

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:55, archived)

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:57, archived)

he's talking to me.

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:59, archived)

^ this

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:01, archived)

I was celebrating the fact that ives' mum is attending the bash

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:00, archived)

i hope i get the cash to go!

it sounds like she'll need protecting from all you perverts!
=D

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:02, archived)

I'm hoping my hangover will ease up before my 3 hour train journey.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:54, archived)

I hope this too, I wouldn't wish a 3 hour train journey on anyone with a hangover...

...or without a hangover either, for that matter

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:55, archived)

I should be able to handle it so long as there's noone with loud headphones or talking loud on a phone.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:57, archived)

James T. Kirk has space bees for breakfast.

and the occasional shag, when there's no comely green lass around.

(Caustic Armadillo consists at least 30% out of custard, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:35, archived)

I might do my fairy make up again.

Looks very odd, but makes me slightly green without making me look like I'm about to vomit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:37, archived)

make yourself blue

and bleach your hair.

*awaits smurfette fantasy*

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:47, archived)

Nah

Red Skin and Green hair this time
Pwetty Pwease

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:50, archived)

Someone (years ago, not b3tan) shopped a picture of me to look like smurfette.

This one.

b0.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00950/00/09/950879000_m.jpg

I'm either 14 or 15 there.

It was terrible, it really was. I honestly could have done better scribbling on the monitor with a crayon.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:52, archived)

bloody kids.

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:53, archived)

I was an awesome kid and a mad teenager.

That was mid 'off the rails' period.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)

You look like Lauren Lavern

Or whatever her name is

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:53, archived)

I'm much posher.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:03, archived)

I would have gotten away with it as well

If it hadn't been for those meddling kids and thier darned dog

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:54, archived)

cor!

*buys deloren*

*makes time machine*

*1.21 giggawatts at 88 MPH*

*nonces*

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)

\o/

NOW I remember you!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:01, archived)

it's like an episode of ashes to ashes

or something.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:10, archived)

that makes me want to cry...

*cries*
=D

(

ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:26, archived)

that's what it is

I though I'd pooed myself

(pdjpdj, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:29, archived)

That is rather fucking uncanny, in a sexy way

(

mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:32, archived)

Cor!

I can't remember his name, but I've had him!

'nings everyone

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:38, archived)

Is it just me?

Or does he have that "Elvis in his later years" look about him?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:39, archived)

Haha, I think it might just be you =)

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:39, archived)

My brother saw it and said

"why did you shop Dad?"

(Caustic Armadillo consists at least 30% out of custard, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:40, archived)

OMG

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(Oobla, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:39, archived)

hahaha

old skool gnops FTW!

WOO!

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 13:46, archived)