TEH B3TA DERBY BASH STORY ORDEAL. LOADZAWORDZ. SOZ.Soz folks, but I did promise several people I'd toss this onto the main board. On Saturday evening. I've just finished typing it up.
I'll put it in my profile too, for people who love re-reading utter crap.
(DrZaarlon)
Traditionally, the only way they could have predicted that particular outcome was to consult The Pig Man.
(ivesb)
'OINK!' he exclaimed, and the b3ta madness began in earnest;
before you could blink, rub-on tattoo cdc's had adorned ivesb's
rippling muscles.
(NeonBlue)
And once again there was talk of bumming, and merriment ensued;
Neon Blue gently but firmly took Wormulus in hand and began to
strok (that's what it says here, in biro - ST) his every erecting member
until it emitted liquid shards of molten silk all over the chest of...
(Watney's whatever. Talkboarders'll know. The bloke himself couldn't even be arsed to write his own pretend name)
Moira Stewart, who exclaimed: 'My life is complete; bury me next to Robin Day before leaving and seeking refuge...'
(Mrs Trellis)
Robin Day, wearing naught but his bow-tie, was not dead but fantasising about Sturdy Girl's tools.
(C3lia)
Girls' tools, so tempting but also destined to disappoint.
Girls receive 50% of the pleasure but only give 10% of the effort
(stats provided by [a deliberately nonsensical word].
So really fantasy is better than realesation
(Jolly Jack - yes, girls, he's real! And believe you me, in real life he's a proper fucking dreamboat)
So, for the the sake of Continual Narrative, let us focus on Fantasy.
Fantasy, and whipped cream. Fantasy, and whipped cream, and Hamsters.
(Jessie)
But continual narrative is the escape of the over-analytic or sober and so, sure as death and taxes,
we will inevitably step back into the sordid world of ogling breasts and (unintelligible)
the (unintelligible) bloke at the mic a big Jessie.
(mictoboy. [Oh Christ, here we go. I've got to type this stuff, you bastadz...;) :( )
I pulled hexachordal's cock out of my mouth to explain breathlessly: 'Oh Captain Wow, take your
finger out of my ass or I will explode;' she relented but instead massaged my perineum - I was helpless.
(Dixon)
Helpless was a state that Dixon immediately picked up upon, and, hoisting his jeans high,
headed off in the direction of the potential action.
(Chorizo Wagon)
Which was raging back and forth like a human octopus of limbs and juices - but which delectable subject
was next in line for a good squildo-graping?
(LD.D [I reckon this is Laird Dave Draws, but correct me if I'm wrong])
I TAPPED THAT SHIT, YEAH BOY
(Fluffy Elephants)
I said as I tapped him once more on the shoulder, 'Yeah boy, where's the airport?'
He looked at me confused, and I felt a wave of pity.
He didn't know what was coming next.
(hexachordal [who I liked very much, but, as you can see from teh forthcoming textual peeling wot he dun,
would probably benefit from a nice, relaxing decade of not being told he's 'talented'.
Yes, I am envious. Of course I bloody am.]) However:
He had a massive penis, upon which was impaled a hamster, now deceased due to the cock through its heart,
and in the distance was the sound of the sirens of the RSPCA vans, persuing him with the carcasses of foxes,
faUns and sea anamaonanoamemenaomes (soz - in-joke), all with Robin-Day's-cock-shaped holes through them,
lying limp in the back bouncing around as though they were excited about the imminent capture of Robin the Impaler,
who had by now turned his attention to a small finch.
(chunderbunny)
'BOUT YE,' said the finch, 'HAVE A QUART O' QUARK.'
(mstandot)
But the quart was his cock tod and thusly thrust it into her Hot Wet Pussy.
(Sea Tramp)
And they all lived happily ever after.
(I'll put it in my profile too, for people who love re-reading utter crap.
(DrZaarlon)
Traditionally, the only way they could have predicted that particular outcome was to consult The Pig Man.
(ivesb)
'OINK!' he exclaimed, and the b3ta madness began in earnest;
before you could blink, rub-on tattoo cdc's had adorned ivesb's
rippling muscles.
(NeonBlue)
And once again there was talk of bumming, and merriment ensued;
Neon Blue gently but firmly took Wormulus in hand and began to
strok (that's what it says here, in biro - ST) his every erecting member
until it emitted liquid shards of molten silk all over the chest of...
(Watney's whatever. Talkboarders'll know. The bloke himself couldn't even be arsed to write his own pretend name)
Moira Stewart, who exclaimed: 'My life is complete; bury me next to Robin Day before leaving and seeking refuge...'
(Mrs Trellis)
Robin Day, wearing naught but his bow-tie, was not dead but fantasising about Sturdy Girl's tools.
(C3lia)
Girls' tools, so tempting but also destined to disappoint.
Girls receive 50% of the pleasure but only give 10% of the effort
(stats provided by [a deliberately nonsensical word].
So really fantasy is better than realesation
(Jolly Jack - yes, girls, he's real! And believe you me, in real life he's a proper fucking dreamboat)
So, for the the sake of Continual Narrative, let us focus on Fantasy.
Fantasy, and whipped cream. Fantasy, and whipped cream, and Hamsters.
(Jessie)
But continual narrative is the escape of the over-analytic or sober and so, sure as death and taxes,
we will inevitably step back into the sordid world of ogling breasts and (unintelligible)
the (unintelligible) bloke at the mic a big Jessie.
(mictoboy. [Oh Christ, here we go. I've got to type this stuff, you bastadz...;) :( )
I pulled hexachordal's cock out of my mouth to explain breathlessly: 'Oh Captain Wow, take your
finger out of my ass or I will explode;' she relented but instead massaged my perineum - I was helpless.
(Dixon)
Helpless was a state that Dixon immediately picked up upon, and, hoisting his jeans high,
headed off in the direction of the potential action.
(Chorizo Wagon)
Which was raging back and forth like a human octopus of limbs and juices - but which delectable subject
was next in line for a good squildo-graping?
(LD.D [I reckon this is Laird Dave Draws, but correct me if I'm wrong])
I TAPPED THAT SHIT, YEAH BOY
(Fluffy Elephants)
I said as I tapped him once more on the shoulder, 'Yeah boy, where's the airport?'
He looked at me confused, and I felt a wave of pity.
He didn't know what was coming next.
(hexachordal [who I liked very much, but, as you can see from teh forthcoming textual peeling wot he dun,
would probably benefit from a nice, relaxing decade of not being told he's 'talented'.
Yes, I am envious. Of course I bloody am.]) However:
He had a massive penis, upon which was impaled a hamster, now deceased due to the cock through its heart,
and in the distance was the sound of the sirens of the RSPCA vans, persuing him with the carcasses of foxes,
faUns and sea anamaonanoamemenaomes (soz - in-joke), all with Robin-Day's-cock-shaped holes through them,
lying limp in the back bouncing around as though they were excited about the imminent capture of Robin the Impaler,
who had by now turned his attention to a small finch.
(chunderbunny)
'BOUT YE,' said the finch, 'HAVE A QUART O' QUARK.'
(mstandot)
But the quart was his cock tod and thusly thrust it into her Hot Wet Pussy.
(Sea Tramp)
And they all lived happily ever after.
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:06,
archived)
look!a teal deer
(
Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:15,
archived)
But,I can't read!
EDIT: Oh, and why wasn't I invited?
(EDIT: Oh, and why wasn't I invited?
wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:08,
archived)
You really wantto pull at that thread?
(
Tu9 01100011011101010110111001110100,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:11,
archived)
Best offer I'vehad all day...baaaaaabeeee xxx
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:12,
archived)
Hubba Hubba!*drinks more wine*
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:15,
archived)
*snuggles* wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:19,
archived)
Lookjust take your cheap chardonnay and leave.
( Tu9 01100011011101010110111001110100,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:20,
archived)
Too late for that,bitch!
And, it cost £4.99
(And, it cost £4.99
wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:26,
archived)
It was supposed to be.But it turns out that people are
*censors self*
(*censors self*
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:29,
archived)
Used to bethat we'd whip people black and blue for this sort of thing (down with, etc.)...back in the days when this was all concrete foundations (can't quite remember the fields).
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:18,
archived)
those who were there should know about it, those who weren't shouldn't give two fucks
Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:17,
archived)
You're right.I just made the daft mistake of promising, at the time, to do what I just dun right there now there then now like.
Like some kind of silly sod.
(Like some kind of silly sod.
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:26,
archived)
Drunken promisesAre breakable promises.
( Tu9 01100011011101010110111001110100,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:32,
archived)
Don't I just know it.More than 40 drunk female lurkers've GAZ'D me
this evening.
And my punctuation isn't even working proply.
What the fuck can a po' boy do?*
*Rhetorical question
(this evening.
And my punctuation isn't even working proply.
What the fuck can a po' boy do?*
*Rhetorical question
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:38,
archived)
a cardinal error.I only do anything when I've been asked three times.
this weeds out the tedious bullshit people can fucking figure out for themselves
Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 4:25,
archived)
i saw that going round!interesting stuff, how are you doing?
it was nice meeting you.
(it was nice meeting you.
Cae1,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 2:55,
archived)
Surprisingly enough, I'm fukt.That's why I posted that garbage up there
when I should've just kept it in my profile...
Here's a suggestion.
Feb.
Brum.
Dr When.
(when I should've just kept it in my profile...
Here's a suggestion.
Feb.
Brum.
Dr When.
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 3:02,
archived)
I should be able to do it.Dr When seemed like an ace guy too, but i didn't really speak to him much. One night wasn't enough to meet 40 people :)
( Cae1,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 3:06,
archived)
More nights, mate.mooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrenizzzzzzzzzzz
Etcetera!
(Etcetera!
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 3:14,
archived)
i found a good mothra wallpaper and this guy on a toy site.
postbear has metal knees,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 4:10,
archived)
wowtl;dr
no picture and massive injoke only for those in the popular b3ta clique... and i bet some n00b gets ripped apart later for posting just a slightly oversized image...
(no picture and massive injoke only for those in the popular b3ta clique... and i bet some n00b gets ripped apart later for posting just a slightly oversized image...
yanmania... last shagged your mum on,
Tue 7 Oct 2008, 9:25,
archived)