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OH HAI THERE B3TA

ITS A HORSE DOING XTREME IRONING!

Also:
I am cooking for my Hausmates tomorrow but I am all out of ideas, any fucking suggestions
_{No fish, or spicey foods(I love spicey foods but a couple of peoples cant handle them)}

From the Extreme Horses! challenge. See all 371 entries (closed)

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:55, archived)

Cook icecream.

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Ttssattsr, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:56, archived)

I need a main

Not a desert

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:58, archived)

Beans on toast!

sorted

Edit: Also, your "horse" looks like an axolotl!

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Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:56, archived)

I got gammon, pineapple, salad, jacket potato, beans and cheese today

Beans 2 days in a row isnt good

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:59, archived)

Nonsense

It makes you into a COWBOY!
(that and bumming)

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Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:00, archived)

Lasagna.

I would love to see you fail, Englishman.

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:57, archived)

We've already had a lasagne, I wanna try something new before going back to something we've already had

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:59, archived)

Lasagna!

LASAGNA!

What is wrong with you people?! I even typed it right there!

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:01, archived)

No you didnt

Google that shit

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:03, archived)

I don't need google to tell me that lasagne is the plural of lasagna.

I'm am Italian!

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:04, archived)

cook your housemates

but make sure you get a takeaway, just in case they taste like shit.
or hippies.
or vegetarians.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:58, archived)

Hahaha

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:00, archived)

that could be the bastard child of a sea cucumber and a weasel.

eggplant parmigiana.

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postbear has metal knees, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:58, archived)

Hahahaha - its a horse I promise you

Is there meat in parmigiana?

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:01, archived)

no. i'm vegetarian.

ingredients
-1 eggplant
-olive oil as needed*
-2 cloves garlic, chopped
-2 red or yellow peppers, diced finely
-28 oz. (1 can or 3-5 fresh) diced plum tomatoes
-salt and pepper to taste
-3 tbsp. (45 mL) chopped fresh basil
-1 cup (250 mL) grated mozzarella*
-1/2 cup (125 mL) grated fresh parmesan

preparation
preheat oven to 350°F/180°C.
slice eggplant in rounds and poke with fork a few times. sprinkle with salt, both sides, leave 10 minutes. rinse with cold water, pat dry, then lay on a baking sheet. lightly brush both sides with oil. bake 20-25 minutes.
in a pan, brown garlic in 15 mL (1 tbsp.) oil. add peppers; soften over medium low heat.
add tomatoes; simmer 5 to 8 minutes. adjust seasoning; add basil.
pour sauce into an oven dish. add eggplant and top with mozzarella.
bake until cheese browns.
serve topped with freshly grated parmesan.

edit: whoops, forgot the herbs somehow. oregano and rosemary salt, not just salt salt.

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postbear has metal knees, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:08, archived)

That sounds tasty

But I'd have to put some form of meat in there
Either Bacon or some kind of beefs

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:15, archived)

no, no, no.

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postbear has metal knees, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 3:17, archived)

cous cous

or soup.

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connor, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:58, archived)

I was half thinking a sort of meaty stew

But cous cous soup could work :D

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:01, archived)

cous cous

soup??
sounds veggie. KILL IT

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:03, archived)

With meats of course

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:03, archived)

MEAT IS MURDER

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connor, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:05, archived)

Tasty Tasty Murder

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:10, archived)

The flesh you so fancifully fry
Is not succulent, tasty or kind
Its death for no reason
And death for no reason is murder

And the calf that you carve with a smile
Is murder
And the turkey you festively slice
Is murder

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connor, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:14, archived)

PLANTS ARE ORGANISMS TOO!

Except wheat which is actually a form of dry sneeze.

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:15, archived)

take a good look at your teeth.

are they shaped like cow's teeth? no. they're not. that is because the human diet is meant to include meat. it's called the food chain.
DON'T FUCK WITH NATURAL SELECTION, MAN!

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:18, archived)

i'm pretty sure the human digestive system is evolved mainly to eat grain/nuts and stuff like that

by eating meat you polluting the environment with cow farts and depriving the poor of food. and its murder.

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connor, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:23, archived)

WRONG

it's actually cow burps that produce methane.

and water (vapour) is a bigger constituent of greenhouse gasses in our atmosphere than CO2

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:27, archived)

we have canine teeth, which are designed for meat-eating.

we evolved as hunter-gatherers. i don't know about you, but i've never been tempted to stalk the wilds for a bunch of fucking carrots.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:28, archived)

Well animals murder other animals all the time then. Which means that presumably if we stop then we have to make them stop.

At which point the majority of them would die as they are not omnivores and the food chain itself collapses.

Would that it were you could get synthetic meat, or that animals could not be so intensively farmed, but it doesn't seem on the cards with the population numbers barely able to be supported by normal means.

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:31, archived)

well no. to say that we must do as the animals and kill each other for food

then we should also not have societies and not do things for other people and murder people for resources etc. as humans we have developed beyond that so we can make moral choices. anyways. i am not vegetarian for moral reasons. it's just fun to pretend so. goodnight.

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connor, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:39, archived)

self awareness is over-rated

and we-re over-populated, individuals of any species should only produce one copy of themselves, no more, no less. This ensures healthy propogation of species, and maintenance of ecosystems.

anyways, we've only got a couple of million years left on this planet. whatever we do doesn't matter

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:42, archived)

You had a point up until

"and not do things for other people and murder people for resources etc."

I think people are way ahead of you there. And as much as I believe humanity should not act like savages, the path to hell is paved with good intentions - morality is never a good addition to anything despite how simplistic and trueist murder and such may seem.

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:43, archived)

^this

there's a reason there are so many essential fatty acids that are only found in animals. it's how we've evloved.

edit: ashually smash, some of them are. but not the important ones

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:25, archived)

Our teeth are actually best suited to eating bugs

which is why people shouldn't use that argument.

"red meat made early humans grow bigger brains" is a far better one.

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gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:30, archived)

so what are bugs made of, marzipan?

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:35, archived)

We would have very different teeth if we were meant to eat large animals.

That doesn't stop me, but it still fucks the "we evolved to eat steak" argument.

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gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:46, archived)

there's a slight counter-argument

which is to do with the congruence of the upper and lower sets of teeth, and the reason we evolved only two sets of neat teeth whilst sharks evolved multiple rows.

in short we evolved to eat a varied diet which includes meat, fruits, veg and some bugs (although not so much these days)

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:50, archived)

the point i'm trying to make is

that claiming that humans are meant to eat only vegetarian foods is nuttier than connor's veggie shit.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:53, archived)

Ben Zephaniah?

I disagree vehemently with vegetarianism. The eating of the flesh of reared animals is not murder as it is their purpose. Wild animals is a different story, although I'm not at all opposed to that either.
I do try and buy good quality meat/eggs/dairy from animals who've been well treated and allowed to roam (I know with Dairy these days that's nigh on impossible, but that's the supermeercats fault) and would love to have some chickens or sheep in the future which i would happily rear to the slaughter, and partake in the eating of (although i couldn't eat a whole sheep, that'd be greedy, and unprofitable)

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:20, archived)

Shotgun some of that sheep

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:21, archived)

you or your housemates fans of marmite?

someone on here made a recommendation of coating potatoes in it before roasting them a while back and i can confirm it is tasty. although i find it nicer to only do some of the spuds like this, and have a mix on the plate

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:37, archived)

I dont like it

I dont know about the others

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:47, archived)

nice

zoom in on the horseh!

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enceladus, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:58, archived)

cook breakfast food

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PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:59, archived)

I live with girls and they want less fat in it then the last meal I made

Which was only bangers and cheesey garlicy mash
Apparently I use too much cheese in cooking

I wouldnt mind a fry up tho

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:03, archived)

QUICHE LORRAINE KELLY!

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monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 0:59, archived)

QUICHE HER YOURSELF!

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:01, archived)

i'd rather kick her up the arse

than kiss her

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:02, archived)

HOW?

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monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:03, archived)

i'm not sure

but bacon, eggs, cheese and a pastry case are involved.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:06, archived)

Tuna quiche is the best quiche ever

With some roast spuds and a bit of veg, maybe some spinach or summat.
*dribbles*

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Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:11, archived)

no fish?

fucking pussies

roast lamb; sear leg of lamb in a deap casserole dish or other large ovenproof cooking impliment with a lid.

then add 750ml dry white whine. 750ml water, veg (carrots, onion, spuds and the like work well) and some streaky bacon. whack in oven for 4-5 hours,
meat falls off bone, onto plate. veg is scooped out with spoon, sauce is dribbled liberaly

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:01, archived)

I dont have 4-5 hours, I basically need to do it in 1-1.5hours

But that sounds fucking delicious

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:02, archived)

it only takes about an hour to prep

just eat late ;)

i won't tell people where i got that recipe from, he's a bit of a cunt, but his food is good

i was trying to remember delia's chicken in barbecue sauce but i can't, basically involves browning chicken in a roasting tin with oil, onions and black pepper, mixing a sauce that definately contains soy sauce, chili powder and garlic and might also contain white wine. pouring sauce over chicken and cooking for about 30 minutes (turning and basting regularly) delicious with rice

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:03, archived)

I dont finish uni til about 4:30, then I gotta buy ingredients

So I cant really be doing with having dinner at 10pm!

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:05, archived)

OH MAN, DRIBBLES AT THE THOUGHT OF THAT CHICKEN STUFF

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:10, archived)

i was too

gonna have to make it again soon.

my mam's got a big italian cookbook which she's never used, and it's got some fantastic pizza recipes in it, did one a few months back and might do a couple if i get the house to myself at some point in the future (or when i move out i'll do em for a house warming)

tells you how to do the dough, sauce, and toppings for about 20, as well as ideas for smaller pizzas and quattros.

also has a chocolate ravioli pudding which i need a girlfriend so i can make it for her

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:12, archived)

I have no cookbooks,

I would cook a mexican, as I cook a fantastic mexican, but I make it hot and a couple of my housemates cant handle the heat

Homemade pizza shits all over any other kind of pizza, it always tastes soo much better.
Get off b3ta and go find one then :P

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:18, archived)

at this time in the morning?

i've got a pretty sure thing worked out with a lass from cheltenham, but she's too far away and too veggie for it to last. Need to get myself a job and a social life up here (and move out) and then start thinking about that kinda thing

still re-adjusting to moving back home

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:22, archived)

Move out of home then

Im planning on never moving back home once I finish my degree, well thats the hope anyway, I need to get a job first

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:26, archived)

no money

and i didn't get a degree, makes the job hunt that little bit harder

on the upside i'm not currently paying rent, and my mam's got a wii :D

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:31, archived)

*dribbles liberally*

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:02, archived)

You could hide a bunch of salmon inside a chicken

Then stand up and point at everyone who hates fish and tell them what they just loved eating.

It's great fun watching people try and convince themeselves that they're sick when they clearly enjoyed eating what they "hate".

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gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:03, archived)

Its me who doesnt like fish :(

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:04, archived)

so, you're a cock man, then?

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:07, archived)

No,

As long as I dont have to swallow the fish, its fine

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:10, archived)

i don't dislike fish

but i hardly ever eat it unless it's in sushi form.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:13, archived)

I BET YOU DO LIKE IT

YOU JUST LIKE TO BE FUSSY BECAUSE IT GETS ATTENTION

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gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:08, archived)

No I dont like it,

it makes me sick a little

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:09, archived)

SICK IN THE HEAD

I used to not eat some fish when I was younger, I think I used to be freaked out by the bones. Now I manage to weird people out by enjoying the skin you get under the fish which most people leave.

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:09, archived)

I dont give a shit about the bones or skin

Give me a rotissery chicken and Ill skin it and devour all of it.
I just dont like the taste, its something that may start liking as I get older, who knows

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:13, archived)

Differs from fish product to fish product though.

Scampi for instant is quite sweet, deep fried whitebait is sort of crispy like bacon. They were the only fish I used to eat before, never really seemed to like the white flakey appeal of normal fish.

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:15, archived)

I can sorta eat lobster thermidor

But thats about it really

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:16, archived)

Never had lobster.

Or crab.
Or any seafood actually.

Except I had some cold prawns once in a salad and they were the most pointless and cold things I've ever tasted. Not sure what they are like actually warm and in something nice.

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:21, archived)

MMmmmm prawns

The day's catch from Whitby, in a little tray with some vinegar.
Fuck yes.

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Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 2:01, archived)

What about seafood?

If seafood stopped existing I would die of woe.

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Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:18, archived)

Nope

apart from b3ta.com/board/8863364

I prefer my food walking around on solid ground

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:20, archived)

^THIS IN HUGE FUCKING SPOONFULS

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 1:21, archived)