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# Half a fucking meg!!!
TJ: FFS! IKEA areso fucking moronic it's unbelieveable! I ordered a bed, I've had it delivered, I've taken everything out of the boxes and arranged them for easy assembling.
But wait a minute, they haven't delivered the bed slats.
I call them up and after two minutes of adverts I get put through to some bint on the other line.
I tell her the problem and she happily informs me that I needed to buy the bed slats seperately!!!
WTF?! Their beds don't come with slats?!
I should have known it was trouble when I bought a bed called the Malm!
Grrr.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:15, archived)
# You didn't know you had to buy the slats seperately?
hahah you mong :D

With Ikea you have to buy everything seperately :D

edit: ups, with that, I'm off. Have a good 'un, all
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:16, archived)
# No.
It's a fucking bed. Slats are part of the fucking thing. What next? You have to buy the sides and the top and bottom seperately?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:20, archived)
# Haha cant you use the slats from an old bed for now?
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:16, archived)
# No this is a double the previous a bunk.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:18, archived)
# Gaffer tape solves everything
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:23, archived)
# Yup
gaff slats it is then.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:25, archived)
# The zip fell off my suitcase in france and I just gaffertaped it up
held like a charm
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:26, archived)
# pics or it never happened
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:30, archived)
# I dont think I got any pics of it im afraid
BUT IT DID FUCKING HAPPEN!
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:31, archived)
# I didn't like it
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:35, archived)
# shit man, you gaffertaped france up!
no wonder it's been holding like a charm
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:40, archived)
# *spits drink out*
Malm.

That shouldn't even be funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:16, archived)
# how the fuck does that work?
(I helped save b3ta! the idiot Did I say it was funny?, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:16, archived)
# The sodding slats are in the assembly manual as well.
Why would you put them in the manual if they're not included!!!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:21, archived)
# I don't think I could contain myself!!!!
I'm sure this would bring on a fatal embollism, instantly.

It's like selling an electric kettle without the element!

Unbelievable. Really.

*edit* Is this technically a bed without the slats? Surely it's a frame and not a bed.
(I helped save b3ta! the idiot Did I say it was funny?, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:26, archived)
# Well, according to the website,
it *is* a frame.
www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S69849849
It does also state fairly clearly that the slats are sold separately.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:41, archived)
# Malm is Swedish for frame.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:42, archived)
# Yeah, it does say it in all the literature
in all fairness but you're right, it's a stupid fucking nickel and dime decision to not sell beds with slats. I mean they're integral not an optional extra,
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:17, archived)
# Might as well sell them with out the bed as well!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:18, archived)
# You gonna take that like a pussy then?
No, I thought not. Get a rifle, walk into your nearest Ikea and start shooting, that's what I'd do.
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:21, archived)
# I have timber, a tape measure and a saw.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:23, archived)
# You can't fashion a gun out of that.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:40, archived)
# I read that as 'wank into your nearest Ikea', and thought.. hmnnn, damn good advice
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:23, archived)
# fucking hell
They still haven't told us how much they spend on alan keys yet, what did you expect?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:22, archived)
# A bed:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:23, archived)
# ^
alan key details first, then we deal with the slats issue
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:24, archived)
# It is a very pressing matter, true.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:25, archived)
# Riverghost awlways 'as issues with slats
at least 'e aint murdured any yet though.

/cockney accent blog
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:27, archived)
# slats sold sperately
good name for a band
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:29, archived)
# I like a good pub quiz
My local does a great one. You have bingo forms as answer sheets and at the one you play bingo for the main prize but you can only cross off the ones that have a correct answer.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:33, archived)
# umm having worked in a call center
I should mention... they probably lied to you to get you off the phone.
Personally I would check to see if there is anything on display that says slats sold separately if not then the bed slats are yours.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:40, archived)
# someone called me from yahoo today
"No we aren't interested in your advertisment services"

and he responded, most petulantly "well, your boss doesn't know the kind of services we offer" and hung up

I think he went off to cry

AHAHAHA

good.

we still don't want your services. :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:43, archived)
# Hahaha
I get loads of sales called. I'll never forget I asked someone if this was a sales call and he happily told me, 'No!. It's a opportunity call.'
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:47, archived)
# fuck me honestly
"I wish to speak to owner about opportunity"
"what opportunity"
"are you business owner sir"
"what opportunity"
"I can only speak to business owner"
(good luck cockhorse)
"Well, he's not in the building right now" (he's standing next to me talking to someone)
"very well, I will call back"
Good luck, twat :D

and repeat

more annoying are the faxing spamming twats

FAX NUMBER: for faxes
PHONE NUMBER/VOICEMAIL: NOT for pissing faxes, or the same shitting fax sent 5 times till you realise "uhhhhh it's not going through... *droool drool* urrrrrrrrrr"BANG

twats


edit: yay food alarm just gone off, lets see if my processed slop is done

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:51, archived)
# Don't get me started faxes!
I moved into a new flat about ten years ago and obviously we got the phone connected and unfortunately it turned out to be the fax line for a defunct charity.
We had to change our number as we got fax calls (we didn't have a fax) every 10-15 minutes 24 hours a day.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:55, archived)
# it's the exact same shit daily (repeatedly)
you'd think they'd learn that nobody gives a fuck
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:59, archived)
# The worse in my books
are the people that so completely lack respect for other members of the human race and should be rounded up and shot are the people responsible for the recorded phone sales calls!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:02, archived)
# those are harmless, just don't press any buttons
lest you be connected to a premium rate number in kyrgyzstan
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:25, archived)
# It does one the main bed page
However I just search double beds and on the individual pages it has it in small writing at the bottom.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:43, archived)
# doh
but it might be worth speaking to
www.oft.gov.uk/oft_and_cd/
and explaining that you felt this was underhanded. They like to smite big companies from time to time.
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:45, archived)
# I'd fucking give them a good fucking malming, I would like
*malms*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:29, archived)
# That's bloody ridiculous
It's not like they have a wide variety of designs of slats. Complain loudly, even if it is in the fine print. Just a way of charging people extra.
btw, my Ikea bed managed to collapse a while ago. Central strut attaches to a bracket on the headboard piece which is held on by 4 screws to chipboard. Required some heavier-duty screws to fix.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:38, archived)
# surely it's the heavy duty screws that caused it to collapse in the first place
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:39, archived)
# The truth is boring:
Yes, they do have a wide variety of designs of slats.

I've just sent an Ikea bed back because it failed. (They were reasonably nice about it though). Buying beds is just impossible.
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 18:51, archived)