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# Some double acts aren't meant to be....


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Crudely done (by all means feel free to a remake), but I think it sums up what we're all thinking. Bonus points for sending it to the BBC Comedy department (should you decide to accept that mission)
(Interceptor Returns to b3ta after over a YEAR!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:45, archived)
# Sod that! Where are the Chuckle Bros.?
also: I can't stop playing BrokenPictureTelephone it's driving me insane!
(I helped save b3ta! Brims Spurts., Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:49, archived)
# What the hell is brokenpicturetelephone? PICTURE EDITED:
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:07, archived)
# Pfft
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:09, archived)
# It;s true thought isn't it?
Why can't people just be funny anymore? I went mental and smashed my ankle yesterday! It was fucking hilarious! I was lying at the bottom of the stairs in pain afterwards and I actually thought to myself, if Horne and Corden did this I would well LOL! BRING BACK LAUREL AND HARDY AND ABBOT AND COSTELLO AND THE MARX BROTHERS AND CHARLIE CHAPLIN AND HAROLD LLOYD AND SHIZZLE!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:11, archived)
# proof positive you're rooting for a zombie apocalypse
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:34, archived)
# Too fucking right!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:43, archived)
# Speaking of Abbott and Costello, this has had way too few views so far
www.vimeo.com/3307967 (t's mine so I'm biased)
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:36, archived)
# Ha ha ha ha ah!
Fucking win :D

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME!
TAKE ME OUT TO THE PARK!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:40, archived)
# pfft
www.brokenpicturetelephone.com
(I helped save b3ta! Brims Spurts., Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:41, archived)
# mitchel and webb were better on the radio
the tv one was possibly still worth it for sir digby chicken cesar though
(totally going to bed now)
(I helped save b3ta! ms morbo lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:49, archived)
# Everything is better on the radio.
That's what they always say, people on the internet couldn't be wrong!
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:52, archived)
# ^this
see also Dead Ringers
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:53, archived)
# CANDLE!
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:54, archived)
# Nice candle.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:02, archived)
# Totally agree.
Ha ha....look at the fat man.
Ha ha....gay joke.
Ha ha....look at the fat man.

And repeat for 30 mins.

It was on a par with tittybangbang for shitness
(Tivert, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:50, archived)
# Speaking of the nigh-on homophobia, there was an excellent review in the london paper the other day
it went a little something like this:

"Horne and Corden have described this programme as the most gay sketch show ever made. Maybe. But only in the same way that Schindler's List was the most Jewish film ever made".
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:55, archived)
# I think it would just be more accurate to say
"Anything on BBCThree: Unfunny"
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:50, archived)
# Oh thats just unfair, what about...
erm....

2 pints?

ok, that's shit, I fancy Sheridan Smith
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:53, archived)
# what about the wrong door
made by a b3tan...so err...it must be good, right?
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:55, archived)
# I forgot about that, quite enjoyed it
was it really made by a b3tan?
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:58, archived)
# Yup, many of the sketch ideas were supplied by b3tans, several from HappyToast
The producer was Ben Wheatley : www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=10296
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:05, archived)
# indeed
let's hope his next series doesn't redex as bad as his profile!
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:06, archived)
# Ah ok cheers
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:08, archived)
# That's what I hoped
but how wrong I was. Great animation, zero laughs.
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:00, archived)
# it was definitely less enjoyable
than I wanted it to be. But there were some awesome parts. I liked the car infestation and the level up interviews especially. :)
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:05, archived)
# I thought the trailer looked absolutely amazing.
Sadly as with things which come from brief youtube/b3ta style ideas, they just didn't suit being stretched out into the full length thing.

MrandMrsWheatley did produce possibly two of finest b3ta videos ever though, their "Unseen Rally Highlights" and The Actors which you literally need to watch RIGHT NOW!
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:11, archived)
# I saw them
they're insanely talented
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:20, archived)
# yes
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:55, archived)
# nice underwear beneath the pasties
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:56, archived)
# She just would, pie or no
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:59, archived)
# Ah yes,
The highlight of Two Pints of Lager.... Please note, not a single word was mis-spelled in this response.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:09, archived)
# Tell me again who was the target audience for this show
I forget
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:14, archived)
# I'm too busy wanking
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:24, archived)
# I think Monkeydust was literally the only genuinely funny thing I can think of to come from BBCThree and that was hit and miss at times.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:58, archived)
# I grabbed a couple of series of that but have never got round to watching it
I just assumed it would be shit so has been consigned to the rainy day section of the hard drive
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:00, archived)
# oh nononnono
it's one of the best programmes ever. Watch it. Watch it now!
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:04, archived)
# The darkest humour imaginable
a truly brilliant show.
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:07, archived)
# Oh really?
You clearly never watched Brasseye.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:13, archived)
# Brasseye had some GOOD SCIENCE clips,
one of which was vertical farming. I think it was Tanya Bryer yapping on about it.

Well see this www.verticalfarm.com/

I'm off to get some bos bos and clarky cat. See ya.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:17, archived)
#
Brasseye Jam

Actually I still believe that Brazil has some of the blackest humour I have ever experienced, it also has possibly the best broken weary dystopian atmosphere of any film ever made too.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:18, archived)
# brazil is cocking awesome :)
one of my favouritist films, so good I bought it twice.

mostly because some qwunt stole/ i left it some where last time round.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:21, archived)
# I would say Gilliam for the fucking win,
but no,

GILLIAM FOR THE CUNTING WIN!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:28, archived)
# I'm an avid fan of anything Morris.
Jam & Brass Eye were extremely dark, but Monkey Dust was deep in the abyss.
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:22, archived)
# The radio series of Jam was incredible
especially when you think it was broadcast on Radio 1 and barely drew any complaints, the biggest fuss was the bishops lips sketch (episode 6 of series 1) and even then it was morning after complainers who didn't hear it.

The TV series did add some things but it also took away a lot, particularly the wonderful music he had in amongst the sketches.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:27, archived)
# To be honest I generally skipped past the music sections (having to scan through and see if there was any dialogue).
The really odd synthesised voice taglines for the show were brilliant though, there was one in Stephen Hawking's voice saying Simon Mayo was urinating on a tramp in a wheelbarrow or something...

Easily the best thing about Blue Jam was Morris' monologues though, that short film they made of My Wrongs 8245–8249 & 117 was no way near as good as the original narrated version in the radio show.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:44, archived)
# Yes the monologues were tops.
The thing with the music is for years after I'd get into different bands/albums and then find a track i recognised from Blue Jam. I would put Blue Jam on as driving music when I would go up and down the motorways and it was great when the songs kicked in to punctuate a really good sketch
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:49, archived)
# ^
this
(JoePesky, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 4:17, archived)
# it was like a more expensive version of m3tatweening
It was excellent and the internet says that it featured Goldfrapp's Felt Mountain album music before the album came out, only it took so long to make and get monkey dust on air the album had already been released and been a hit by then :)
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:10, archived)
# The heady days of history eh? :D
So what has brought you back recently Prof?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:15, archived)
# I've been hither and thither about the links pages.
It's kind of nice to see the pace of the main board has slowed enough to have a bit of a chat again.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:20, archived)
# similar reason as to why the later series never got on dvd
unauthorised use of music. That and one of the producers died. :((
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:22, archived)
# Yes I often watch the collected transition scenes where you go past
the electrics shop with Tony Blair yapping and the Lovely Head whistling, then into the bad excuse guy. When i listen to the song in genereal i always sing along "Education, education, education, education.."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAfsjLZr-K4
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:30, archived)
# I'm sorry,
but you are wrong here.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:53, archived)
# christ i hate those two cunts
i'd rather eat a chicken kiev filled with smeg than watch any more of their 'comedy'. also how come two shit actors get a show when some good comedians have been working for years and can't get a look in. looking forward to the stewart lee show though. starts on monday.
(I helped save b3ta! connor, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 1:54, archived)
# Same.
Fuck knows how he's literally had to battle with the BBC to get any programs despite having success after success and being critically acclaimed in the Stand-up circuit.

I think the last tv thing he actually did was Kombat Opera, and he only wrote one episode of that to my memory.

EDIT: I've got the CD of the bizaare Pea Green Boat spoken word set he did. Honestly it's in places the funniest and weirdest thing I've ever heard.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:01, archived)
# do you fancy sending me an mp3 if you have one ?
(I helped save b3ta! connor, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:30, archived)
# I do have an mp3, you couldn't actually rip it originally so I had to record it through audacity purely so I don't have to use the CD to listen.
I would sort of suggest buying it to support Stew, but if not I'll send it along seeing as it's not like anyone's losing out if it was never going to be bought.

I have all the unbuyable TMWRNJ (with the exception of series 2 episode 7 which I can't get a bloody uncorrupted copy of) and Fist of Fun shows as well in reasonable VHS rip format, as well as their earlier Radio excursions.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:38, archived)
# That should be pretty awesome!
I think that is a sign of his quality though, that he can just stand there for his advert and get you excited :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:06, archived)
# He had a tendancy to do that, it's not always just the material but his labourious interminable approach.
The opening to his Stewart Lee Stand Up Comedian set has got to be one of the best first lines of a thing ever.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:16, archived)
# New Stewart Lee?
Excellent! It'd better be on the iPlayer thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:07, archived)