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# tree rat
nice barbecued
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:43, archived)
# Your a lady
wheres your ideal first date like?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:46, archived)
# What does she like?
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:48, archived)
# horses and bacon
:D
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)
# Skug
I've noticed your mentioning this a few times and cannot understand why you are talking about this woman as if she's an alien.

Wimmins are humans, just like you.

For many yonks, in my world, first dates start with dinner. TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER! She is human, she eats, you eat, what could be simpler or more civilised?

(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:49, archived)
# Yes dinner, not some where they serves spicy hot food or food that gives you stinky breath
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)
# And it's best to avoid Mexican food too
All those refried beans with black beans and more beans served on bean bread with bean sauce.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)
# Yes, you don't want to be stifling farts all night
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:56, archived)
# yes but i'm scared and shy and pathetic
i can't even look at girls in bikinis without blushing!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)
# Ok, tough love alert here
*slaps face*
Pull yourself together else you will end up a quivering wreck.

You are psyching yourself up for a disaster and this isn't the way to go about things.

She won't be wearing a bikini and will probably be nervous too.

I know this sounds a bit odd but have a wank and a beer before you go out to calm yourself.

Take her someplace that is quite dark or atmospheric. Avoid bright lights of a noisy pizza joint. Eat fud, drink wine and just let it flow.

Oh and ask yourself... WHAT WOULD SKUGOSAURUS DO?
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)
# When he said blushing he meant boner:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)
# Which is why I suggested a J. Arthur before he goes out
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)
# erm...
bite her in half and eat her... but i'm SkUG
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)
# This has been going on far too long for your health
FFS when are you going on this date?
We may have to provide you with telephonic backup.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)
# hopefully wednesday
:D
i'm not gonna be nervous on the day... its just i really can't think of where to go!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:20, archived)
# Wednesday!
Tell her you can't go out on a Wednesday as that's when the new B3ta challenge is announced.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)
# this is only on the condition that my car is back on the road...
she has offered to drive me :p
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)
# LIES!
WIMMINS YAM NOT HOOMINS!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)
# *prepares to jab toasty in the eye with a spoon*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)
# I am trying my best to lie to Skuggles to calm him
don't ruin it you inconsiderate brute!
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)
# at the cinema
watching a zombie film and eating cheesy nachos, with the promise of tawdry sex in the carpark after the film
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:50, archived)
# Not in tawdry sex in the cinema then?
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:51, archived)
# Nacho sex
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:52, archived)
# No, no, It isn't always nacho sex, just like the time the Fonz caught on fire and shot Ralf in head
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:54, archived)
# no
not since my ex got us thrown out of the showcase after asking for a blowjob in the middle of the mask
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:52, archived)
# Well, it was a shit film
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:53, archived)
# i thought it was okay the first time i saw it
after the first time, not so much.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:55, archived)
# cinema has sticky floors...
and seats and ...just no!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)
# What happened to the beach?
I thought the beach sounded good!
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)
# Kinda boring...
its okay if u don't live by it all the time...
there is a zoo, a farm, and a theme park (how on earth did i forget about that?) near enough though
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)
# THEME PARK!
if he took me to a theme park with rollercoasters and suchlike, i'd sleep with the fucking elephant man!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)
# ^ seconded
The theme park bit, not the elephant man sex bit.

Although you need to find out if she likes rollercoasters first.
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)
# Let's face it, Smashy
You'd shag anyone.

said with love, don't hit me!
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)
# heheheh
anyone except family members, best friends, exes and corpses
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)
# A girl with standards!
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)
# hell, yes
i wouldn't do chris moyles, christ evans, michael winner, david jason or danny devito.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)
# bearing in mind we prolly both been there like 1500 times and its right proper boring...
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:19, archived)
# it's boring when you're on your own
when you're on a date, it becomes magical and romantic at best or kitsch and funny at worst. either way, you can't lose!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)
# Sit backwards in every ride
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)
# been there...
done that
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)
# Not if you're both tripping your tits off
LSD date ftw!
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)
# fuck LSD, rohypnol ftw!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)
# interesting...
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)
# You wouldn't even have to go anywhere nice!
You could just lie in a field for 10 hours amusing the cows.
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)