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# stick him up your hit parade
number ones and number twos.

anyone want to guess what i have just done?
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:06, archived)
# you have smeared a shrew with baba ganoush
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:09, archived)
# no, though it sounds like a adequate activity for an evening such as this
and i am a fan of all things brinjal
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:14, archived)
# you have invented a method of watching television using the medium of osmosis
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:53, archived)
# no, though i don't tend to find television particularly absorbing.
HA! SEE WHAT I DID THERE! HA!

:)
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:58, archived)
# you have just googled baba ganoush and osmosis
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 0:00, archived)
# i refute that.
i eat a lot of middle eastern food, and indeed have a table booked at one for my birthday on tuesday.

nd osmosis, i did go to school you know... :) and i make sausages, using non-osmotic skins. so i knows. (Blows raspberry)

i am not above a bit of googling though.
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 0:10, archived)
# OK I give up, what have you just done
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 0:13, archived)
# taken my anti-biotics
though how you would have seen it is beyond me. have you got a camera in my house?

stop stalking me.
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 0:16, archived)
# You look great in the blue shirt
However the novelty polar ear paw slippers were a poor choice
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 0:21, archived)
# i know, ear slippers SOUND good!
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 0:31, archived)
# I meant to type bear but I typed ear
and I salute the way you have created a terrible pun from my ineptitude
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 0:57, archived)
# Burnt down a cow.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:11, archived)
# no, though a trip to milton keynes to incinerate their bovine sculptures would please me
being a womble.
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:16, archived)
# concrete
doesn't burn though

sadly :(
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:20, archived)
# surely, it is only a matter of temperature....
everything burns in a supernova.

maybe dissolve them in acid?
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:32, archived)
# give them cancer
of the concrete variety?

apparently concrete can melt: answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080212001028AAD4e5X

but it doesn't get that hot in Milton Keynes.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:34, archived)
# it does if you take along some acetylene torches
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:38, archived)
# run naked around a pretzel factory with an imaginary lion
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:13, archived)
# no, though i do own two cats, they are not of such feline stature as to be considered lion-like
however, this makes me reminisce for the days when you could get white chocolate covered, but still salted, pretzels in bags in the sweetie shops.
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:17, archived)
# ah, pretzel flips
the brown chocolate ones were best
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:19, archived)
# had a massive shit
that made your ring bleed
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:18, archived)
# no, that was me
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:21, archived)
# goatsepoo
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:21, archived)
# the perfect advert for dulcolax
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:23, archived)
# oh don't
I had to listen to my mum going on about her fucking bowels on the phone yesterday.

again.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:24, archived)
# i had to listen to my mum
telling me how lovely and warm it was in spain yesterday, while i was sat here listening to howling winds and torrential rain.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:25, archived)
# mums.
fucking slags.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:27, archived)
# hahaha!
my parents have been married almost 40 years, they're still at it like rabbits, it's sickening
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:28, archived)
# What's up Doc or more Jessica?
(I helped save b3ta! Bob the mul Don't look at me that way, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:34, archived)
# definitely jessica
of all the women in the world, that cartoon vixen is the only one i'd ever consider turning rug muncher for
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:39, archived)
# what, eating their own poo?
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:48, archived)
# um
no
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:57, archived)
# no, though as a sufferer of quite obdurate haemorrhoids, it is by no means a bad guess.
makes cycling an S&M pleasure.
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:31, archived)
# Conquered a small South American country using only a cardboard tube
and some Marmite.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:23, archived)
# marmite should be used more to decide important political issues
no more left-wing right-wing bollocks.

just love-it hate-it.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:26, archived)
# marmite conquers all
and coats it in a delicious beefy blanket
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:27, archived)
# nononononononononononono!!!
marmite is not beef.

you're thinking of bovril.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:28, archived)
# but it tastes beefy!
although bovril is also delicious
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:29, archived)
# no, though as a professional structural packaging designer,
i would have confidence in my wood fibre based weaponry, yeast spread or no yeast spread. i would probably go for French Guiana.
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:28, archived)
# anywhere with french in the title is a viable target
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:30, archived)
# They'd surrender within minutes
It's traditional.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:34, archived)
# that's why their arrogance confuses me
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:37, archived)
# having looked into it a bit more...
...french Guiana is still part of france - it uses the euro and everything! and though small compared to lots of other SA countries, it is still the size of portugal.

perhaps we should try an island, or an african country?
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:40, archived)
# Isle of Wight
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:42, archived)
# Too many panthers
How about Rockall?
"Come to Rockall, we don't have panthers."
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:48, archived)
# i've always fancied a trip tot he isles of scilly.
somehow, that sounds right for a b3ta military junta...

the B3tan Scilly Republic.

i don't mind bringing the sandwiches, if someone can source the knives and guns,
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:56, archived)
# french connection?
where do I sign up?
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:36, archived)
# under the white flag
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:38, archived)
# Posted your letter to Santa?
(I helped save b3ta! Bob the mul Don't look at me that way, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:30, archived)
# no, though i plan to pen one for my daughter this weekend at some point...
what i did, was in fact, to pickle 18 eggs, in home made chilli pepper, all spice and black pepper vinegar.:)

the whole house stinks of boiling vinegar vapour now!

sorry for the build up!
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:36, archived)
# build up
of gas when you eat them?
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:36, archived)
# well, the record for eating boiled eggs is 60+ in about 5 minutes....
...i'd love to know what is possible with the pickled variety.

tried it with my home made scotch eggs once - felt pukey after only seven. :(

anyone want to put a wager on it? i think it could be woven into a sheffield B3ta meet.... :)
(I helped save b3ta! moke a man, a plan, a canal, panama!, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 23:42, archived)