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[challenge entry] I really don't usually like doing this
but I popped in here as the new compo was being announced, and rushed off quick to make an entry.



I do apologise.

EDIT: edited to actually be in the compo. Let's not talk about what an idiot I am, mmkay?

From the Christmas Cards Of Truth challenge. See all 215 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:43, archived)
# Honesty is the best policy.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:44, archived)
# do you mean the card
or my admission of the amount of time I spent lovingly crafting it?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:46, archived)
# The lovingly crafted card ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:49, archived)
[challenge entry] This isn't really worth its own thread
So I'll leave it here.

This is actually based on a real event. One year I spent Xmas alone and had a rather nice peanut butter sandwich for my Xmas lunch.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:57, archived)
# my brother
who is far from dull, usually avoids xmas like the proverbial, and has a ritual Spanish omelette for his xmas dinner every year.

Actually, I think you can tell by his change of user name just how highly he rates the current season...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:00, archived)
# Hahaha
and awwwww!

I had a lovely 12-hour shift at work last Xmas. Not this year, oh no, it's egg nog for breakfast this year!
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:01, archived)
# I have three words for you
Egg. Nog. Omlette...
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:03, archived)
# Holy shit!
You, Sir, are a genius.
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:04, archived)
# Genius, maybe
Brave enough to try it?

Erm... maybe?
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:24, archived)
# Remember when I came to visit
and went to the b3ta Xmas bash?

Well, I was there picking up a girlfriend who had spent 4 months in London and she broke up with me in the hotel room that I had paid for...

That Christmas I spent alone. I don't even think I got out of bed. (2006)
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:02, archived)
# This year
I have offers to spend Christmas in:

a) Bognor Regis
b) Camberwell
c) Redditch

Maybe I'll just stay at home on my own.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:05, archived)
# I'd pick b)
Their carrots are quite renouned.
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:10, archived)
# True.
But I'm not allowed such vegetables in case I get tested at work.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:15, archived)
# Dear Jamie "C**t" Oliver
I tried your serving suggestion illustrated above. Frankly I found the salad leaves tough and spikey. The cranberries were hard and bitter - perhaps they should have more sugar. As for serving eggs - don't you know they are dangerous?

Yours

Edwina Curry
(Biff..., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 11:48, archived)
# You think thats bad eh?
I spent my 21st birthday in an army barracks.

God damn reserves.

Not to make it a competition of misery or anything...
(Komsomol, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 22:27, archived)
# Vouchers are a stupid present.
Here, have some money that you can only spend in certain places and in some cases now actually expires.

Unless of course you want to force a child to buy a book, then they're quite useful.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:46, archived)
# the way I look at it
money shows absolutely no thought at all. "I couldn't decide what to get you, so here - buy your own present."

Vouchers, on the other hand, show you have a general idea in mind, but are leaving the final choice up to the recipient. "I want to buy you a CD, but I'm letting you choose which one."

Having said that, I try to put a lot of thought into all presents I give people, whether they be bought, made or whatever.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:49, archived)
# personally
i love my woolies vouchers and i'm going to use them right after xmas! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:49, archived)
# Pffft.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:50, archived)
# But they're the perfect get-out clause for hard to buy for people
I heartily condone gift vouchers.

The expiry bit is a total gip though.
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:51, archived)
# "make an entry"
EHEH HEH HEH HEH.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:49, archived)
# This is really good.
I like that font.
(I helped save b3ta! BleachedEgo draw a cdc then get back to your teen porn.Pricks, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:50, archived)
# It's called 'Hurry up'
I can't remember where I got it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:52, archived)
# Cheers.
I'll take a looky.
(I helped save b3ta! BleachedEgo draw a cdc then get back to your teen porn.Pricks, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:54, archived)
# Woo b3th!
Now make a cock and balls with the carrot and two lumps of coal.
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:52, archived)
# what do you think this is, b3ta?
now sit down and eat your crayon
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:56, archived)
# compo it!
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:52, archived)
# done and done
See above for how we're not talking about my intellectual shortcomings.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:55, archived)
# top stuff
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 20:56, archived)
# praise indeed
; )
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 21:15, archived)