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# merry fatting chrimbo!
(flodge looking like a fool with his pants on the ground, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:38, archived)
# Do not want.
ka thnx bai
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:40, archived)
# You don't know on which side your bread is buttered
I would kill for a Monkey Beer but it's not for laydees, apparently.

edit: Have you done food science on expired Battenburg's?
I ask because we are risking bringing them in even though we know there's a good chance they will be a week past their expiry date.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:59, archived)
# I can answer this,
While the marzipan will not go off (though it may dry a little) I guess you do run the risk of the cakey insides going a bit stale.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:03, archived)
# At which stage you slice it up
and use it to make Battenburg Trifles. Yum!
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:05, archived)
# *hands over award*
I like your thinking!!!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:06, archived)
# Hee hee hee!
You would love my trifles then :) All full of cakey goodness. And sherry. Lots and lots of sherry.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:08, archived)
# they better not have any of that awful tinned fruit in them?
especially not yucky yucky tinned pears
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:13, archived)
# Absolutely not.
Tinned fruit is only ever useful for.... well I don't know what but it has no place in MY trifles. I only ever use fresh berries whatever the greengrocer has in at the time.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:22, archived)
# I KEEP reading that as "Tinned Peas"
and it keeps making me fell a bit sick.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:25, archived)
# *Considers employing wuffle bunny*
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:10, archived)
# Or failing that you could use them as bricks and build a nice cakey castle.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:10, archived)
# That's what I thought
I shall do the food science on the middle cakey bit and leave the marzipan for someone else to test.

I shall invent a Battenburg middle cakey bit remover before the new year when our ship arrives. I think it will be an indispensable item for marzipanophobes like me and may patent it.

We are also risking various Mr Kipling's pies and shall do food science on those.

(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:08, archived)
# oh you did not mention that they were Mr K's Battenbugs
I think that they are quite full of stabilisers and preservatives so you could possibly get away with it! (though please do not undertake any financial trnasactions based soley on my opinions) Do let me know if you try it though!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:12, archived)
# Some people here are so desperate they will try Mr K's, even a week or two past expiry
I have already parted with the money for the items but I have a backup plan in case the cakes aren't up to scratch.

A small structure, yet to be determined, will be made with the Battenburgs. Science will be ditched and art/architecture will replace it.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:17, archived)
# I found this
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:23, archived)
# Hahaha yay!
I don't remember that at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:27, archived)
# Architecture AND cayke?
*glees*
I'm in Heaven already.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:24, archived)
# is that monkey beer?
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:41, archived)
# :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:43, archived)
# HEY.
You've already posted three pics this afternoon.

Chill out.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:44, archived)
# Hey. HEY.
You chill out, man. You're bringing me down with your negative viiiiiiibes, man.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:46, archived)
# Good.
They do say misery loves company.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:50, archived)
# oh oh...
...once i posted alot...in one day....
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:54, archived)
# You ...
fucking ...

BASTARD!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:03, archived)
# OI!
You leaves atomic alone you Vagabond you. ;)
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:06, archived)
# Sorry Mr Wuffle Bunny, Sir.
*hangs head, shuffles feet*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:14, archived)
# Good.
As well you should be. :D
small niggling point but I'm a girly :)
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:25, archived)
# first i cried...
...now i'm laughing.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:47, archived)
# Where's Kelly?
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:50, archived)
# Fumbs up, mate.
Also: CHRISTMAS SHOPPING STARTED AND TERMINATED on December 22nd. Yes I'm good at shopping.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:45, archived)
# Being good at shopping is not something a gentleman should boast about.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:46, archived)
# No it's fine, because I left it to the last minute, panic bought and got it all done in a couple of hours. I also smoked heavily to ease the pain.
+10 manpoints.

Edit: Also I forgot wrapping paper.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:48, archived)
# Hmm. I'll give you the smoking.
But really you should have left it until tomrrow - preferably Thursday, and had a couple of pints first.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:49, archived)
# The plan actually was pool + beer first, but it was cancelled as the idiot left his car in a ditch.
I DEMAND MORE POINTS.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:51, archived)
# Save it for the judge.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:52, archived)
# I have to nip into Leeds this evening for a late last minute pickup...
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:48, archived)
# It's easier if you impulse buy everything due to the stress of leaving it late.
I'm much more efficient if I'm nervous.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:52, archived)
# Freebs in Leeds?
I though you were in Norfolk.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:01, archived)
# No My Dear Lady
You're confusing me with Archie and Benny Hill's Love Child
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:25, archived)
# I thought all three of you lived there
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:29, archived)
# too small to be a planet
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:47, archived)
# It could be a small moon
:D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:52, archived)
# My guinness was on fire?
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:48, archived)
# Guinness claim to make everything in their TV advert
I think the fire was the result of them learning to split the atom
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:50, archived)
# I love them more now.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:52, archived)
#
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:58, archived)
# And here was I thinking that pic couldn't get any worse.
*sigh*
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:07, archived)
# In the hands of b3tans there is no limit to how bad that, or any other, image can get
you should know that by now ;)
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:09, archived)
# maybe i should shop a penis over the can.......nah
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:10, archived)
# I was thinking either John Prescott's face on the belly
or replacing the man's head with that of that exstasy man or whatever he's called. Freebase.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:14, archived)
# hahahaha, they sure would worsen it
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:19, archived)
# OK, it's true. B3tans can - and frequently will - make anything worse.
it's true. B3tans can - and frequently will - make anything worse.I will never learn will I?
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:29, archived)
# Totally real now... :D
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:53, archived)