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# this reminds me of FHM
there was a story about an old bloke who turned up at A&E with a jam jar wedged up his arse. made me laugh quite a lot, that did.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:12, archived)
# I vaguely remember that
I've seen various incarnations of that story, sometimes with ketchup bottles, wine bottles, etc. Sometimes with an excuse like, 'I went shopping, and locked myself out of the house, so put the shopping down and tried to climb up into a first floor window, and fell on the bottle'.

EDIT: 'ning, Smash
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:14, archived)
# the only shopping accident i've had
was tripping over whilst carrying 2 bottles of cheap plonk. got a 5-inch scar on my right elbow thanks to landing on the bottles, but neither of them got below the waist
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:15, archived)
# Ouch
I childishly slid across an aisle on my knees when I knew no-one was watching a few weeks ago.
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:17, archived)
# arf!
the actual cut didn't hurt, it was so clean and quick. 3 hours later, i was morphined off my tits, stitches in place, celebrating my best mate's 21st in true drunken style!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:22, archived)
# Hooray!
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:24, archived)
# it takes more than a sliced arm to stop me partying!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:33, archived)
# also, is anyone else watching the women's darts?
those are some ugly bitches!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:37, archived)
# Noooooooo horrid
off to smoke guitar and play a beer now, bye.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:44, archived)
# bye!
have fun!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:49, archived)
# Hoorah!
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:36, archived)
# i won't miss a party!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:38, archived)
# Are you sure that's FHM?
Because I've heard about a video of this
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:14, archived)
# positive
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:17, archived)
# if it is thwe video I have heard about
that particularr glass jar breaks while it is still inside.

I have yet found my self desiring to see it.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:22, archived)
# I believe that's a similar, but much more disturbing incident
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:27, archived)
# Fell asleep halfway through that sodding film last night.
Again.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:15, archived)
# heheheh
i stayed awake till the end :)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:18, archived)
# did they fill it with concrete, shove a broom handle in it and wait for it to set?
that way you'd be able to shove it all the way back out of the top with minimal damage.
Imagine swallowing a jam jar, what a twat!
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:16, archived)
# hhahaha!
i can't remember how they got it out!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:19, archived)