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# I made these


Saw the post by cake lady and thought I would share this.

Been doing these for the past 6 months and saved a fortune.
Age it for a month and tastes like a good german white.
Better than a 5 quid supermarket job at any rate.
Takes 2 weeks to brew and a week to clear.

Works out about 40p a bottle.

recipe per gallon
1 litre carton 100% pure orange juice.
1 litre carton pure pressed white grape juice.
1½ lb sugar.
1 tsp nutrient
G.P. yeast
½ tsp tannin
1 tsp Pectic Enzyme
1 tsp glycerine
Water to 1 gallon

Desolve sugar in a pint or so of boiling water.

Stir all the ingredients into 1½ pints cold water till well mixed and aerated.

Top up to 1 gallon, check initial S.G. which should be about 1.090 and adjust if necessary.

Ferment as usual under air lock. Rack at 1.000 (or ferment to dry and back sweeten) and add 1 crushed Campden tablet plus potassium sorbate.

Not my recipe, got it from another forum.

(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:52, archived)
# You've bottled your piss for the past month.
Go on on admit it. We're all friends here.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:53, archived)
# My piss doesn't have that tangy aftertaste.
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:55, archived)
# eat more lemons
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:22, archived)
# Eat beetroot
for a red.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:00, archived)
# Mmmmmm. Tannin....
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:56, archived)
# You can probably buy cooking sherry for cheaper if that's your thing.
Wine is not expensive these days - maybe look for some australian piss.

Everyone went crazy on vineyards in beautiful climates five years ago and you can get that shit for $2 a bottle over here, can't be much more over your way.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:56, archived)
# 40p for a bottle? Not sure
Besides I cant stand bad tasting wine.
This tastes good!
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:02, archived)
# Well as long as you like it I can't argue with you
I wish you all the best on your moonshine endeavours.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:04, archived)
# Yeah it is nice, friends and family keep asking for more.
Funny you mention moonshine, I was looking into making a still a while back....

Decided not to as I need my vision intact.
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:08, archived)
# When I was a teenager my friends and I made a spirit from potatoes and fennel.
We called it "anal cunt".
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:20, archived)
# you should work for Brewdog
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:22, archived)
# I'd rather make alcoholic curry
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:24, archived)
# SHOTS OF 40% VINDALOO
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:24, archived)
# I made chili vodka that was really good.
1 litre of cheap asda vodka
40 chopped fresh peppers
3 table spoons clear honey
mix and leave for 3 months.

Strain through a filter paper and enjoy.
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:39, archived)
# Cheap vodka poured through a water filter a few times is actually quite palatable
mix it with melted mars bars or skittles if that is your thing, I prefer to just drink it neat (filtered).
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:51, archived)
# Try a water filter with an activated carbon pluggin.
Even better.
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:55, archived)
# Activated carbon absorbs all the intoxicants in your blood
that's why they give it to people that have overdosed on whatever.

Filtering alcohol through it is probably a waste. DRINK A WINE.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:57, archived)
# Haven't used one myself to be honest
But it's what they supply with those cheap moonshine kits to get something that doesn't taste of meths.
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:12, archived)
# Wrong, activated charcoal doesn't adsorb ethanol significantly.
They use it for larger toxin molecules.

/pedantic bastard
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:32, archived)
# Science!
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:39, archived)
# I went...
...for a check-up once. They stupidly asked for a urine sample. Last time I was asked for one
they needed the first deposit of the day as it were. Now, we all now the 'First of the Day' is
a bit of a monster. I'd had a few lagers the night previous and looked for a suitable item
to 'house' the sample to take to the doc's. The only thing remotely big enough was an old,
empty coffee jar which I duly filled like a reacehorse with red hot piss.

There I was in the waiting room, with a coffee jar full of luke warm piss inside a Tescos bag.

I was then called and handed over the jar only to be told that I could have done a 'Ickle bit'
in one of those sample bottles.

She smiled, took the jar and emptied my re-cycled lager into her sink...

...oh how I blushed...

::
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:01, archived)
# She would have binned it even if there was only a little bit
If it's not in a sample bottle, there's too much likelihood of contamination from the container to trust any results.
(I helped save b3ta! Fronds are waving gently on, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:04, archived)
# Some instructions say that you are meant to capture the middle bit.
So you have to piss for a bit, capture some in a sampler, then go back to pissing. It's a recipe for disaster...
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:05, archived)
# I was one of those people that handed out and accepted those small piss bottles
why didn't you just read the instructions?

I'll never forget the day I walked into the lab with a bag full of murder victim's poo. Didn't need a jar full of that either.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:10, archived)
# They just said 'You will be required to provide a urine sample'
Well, I always say 'Be prepared!' :D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:13, archived)
# i refuse to give urine
samples - they are always asking for them for diabetes checks - then i also refuse to give blood samples :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:58, archived)
# "tastes like good german white"
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxymoron
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:04, archived)
# There's heaps of lovely German wines
- be startling if there wasn't given that there's no real difference between south east France and south west Germany bar the language. It just tends to stay in the domestic market. I wouldn't touch a German wine you'd buy in Britain except if I'd run out of screenwash for my car.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:07, archived)
# don't knock a dry Riesling or gewurtztraminer
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:09, archived)
# Gewurtztraminer?
Why not just eat a bowl of pot pourri and say you're done with it!
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:16, archived)
# My word I think this is the most cultured argument I've ever seen on an internet Forum!
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:18, archived)
# Trust me
Drinking a lot of wine does not equal culture.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:21, archived)
# True...
But the fermentation of beers and wines along side agriculture is one of the driving forces behind groups of humans moving on from hunter-gathering and forming collectives.

Or, that could be a load of bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:37, archived)
# No it certainly is true
it's just that people have other reasons to meet these days. You need a pretty special group if you're going to get 100 people to all meet in a paddock to drink dirty spirits.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:40, archived)
# Sounds more like dogging...
but point taken.

(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:52, archived)
# I DRINK WINE
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:25, archived)
# YES!!!!!!
SO GLAD TO BE YOUR FRIEND!!!!!! YES
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:29, archived)
# bloody heathens!
best drunk with chinese food or curry

not on its own!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:32, archived)
# Spicy food goes well with a fresh pinot noir (duck, prawns, mint, chilli, coriander)
or on a hot day maybe a fresh riesling (prawns, garlic, scallops, lemon, basil)

Gewurtztraminer is for shadow-men, half-men and for dirty dirty men.

Let us drink some wonderful wonderful wine as manly stongmen.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:39, archived)
# I can live with those labels
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:41, archived)
# You're obviously quite wrong

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:11, archived)
# This is exactly what I thought.
There's no such thing. Climate does not equate to soil quality does it?!
(I helped save b3ta! JebediahSpringfield, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 16:42, archived)
# Rock me!
(AMadDayYes, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:04, archived)
# Is that you evil twin?
(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:06, archived)
# :)
Oh and shelf Sharwoods = win!
(AMadDayYes, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:07, archived)
# It looks like you're keeping deformed embryos
(I helped save b3ta! @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:21, archived)
# check initial S.G.
but i dont own a second suicide girl let alown a 1st one


(what the hell is S.G and how do i test it?)
(~MMD and where dose one what this so hard?, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 19:10, archived)