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MJ (via Guy Warley)

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:12, archived)

that made me jump

when i refreshed the page.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:23, archived)

yes

but definitely an improvement. perhaps B3TA should offer to supervise his next plastic srurgery session

(

automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:29, archived)

that'll be the electrodes that I attached to your chair.

don't get up. breaking the circuit could be fatal.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:29, archived)

uh oh

is this going to be like that time you made me stand at the other end of the office while everyone threw knives at me?
is it?

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:39, archived)

ha ha - those were the days.

things used to be so much better than this didn't they?

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:43, archived)

I would like to aggree but the reconstructive surgery

was actually quite irritating at the time.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:47, archived)

I think hes got exopthalmia

a horrid word to look up in the google image search engine...

(

automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 11:09, archived)

The scariest bit of that picture is the nose. And that bit hasn't been photoshopped.

(

KQ, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 11:12, archived)

jacko again

i know it doesnt truly enter into the spirit of b3taism but im to busy and too lazy to do the jack thing so heres a repost 8¬)

(

hal9000 sme, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:09, archived)

BBC News Ticker has a headline

"Taleban in retreat across Afghanistan"

All I can see in my minds eye are thousands of little Taleban fella running across a vast amount of sand in a Monty Python-esk "Run Away!" Sketch.

(Sul, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:06, archived)

Bush meets war.

http://www.btinternet.com/~hodzic/ Check the video.

(mo, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:56, archived)

Fruity Jacko with bad feet

(

crab_bloke), Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:52, archived)

that looks like

a potato.
It's beautiful. And is it eating its hands?

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:46, archived)

It's a papaya

Is a papaya different from a paw paw, or are they the same thing? I've been wondering about that for ages. I want to use a character called big chief squidgy paw paw for something- he'd be a paw paw (or papaya?) with a big indian head-dress.

(

crab_bloke), Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:28, archived)

erm

I don't know. my Papaya knowledge is limited. I don't think they do it in my Tescos. But I love the Indian chief idea.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:34, archived)

hooray!

i found out. they're the same! my life is soooo much better now I know that.

(

crab_bloke), Wed 14 Nov 2001, 11:51, archived)

I was actually just trying to find that out

Here's one.

"A delicious sweet, soft and juicy fruit.
Air freighted for freshness. Halve, remove and discard seeds before consumption."
see?

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 11:52, archived)

awww

You gotta love Sainsburys To You... When it works... and its not giving you dodgy pricing... or denying you access because your out of a designated postcode even though you know full well your not.

I love it, errr I dont work for Accenture, the guys that run STY, no! I'm just an innocent party, honestly guv!

(Sul, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 14:35, archived)

I LITERALLY just

can't look at that. I can't.
and I wont.
it's feet make me feel... arrgghh. No, i can't/

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:55, archived)

at least its only chewing

its fingernails. the alternative is too horrid to contemplate

(

automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:06, archived)

belinda as god intended...

Belinda with her bits out

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:43, archived)

is that real?

There appears to be a line between her neck and face.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:44, archived)

It is real

beleive it or not

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:46, archived)

rocks naked?

gently back and forth while mutteriing to herself?
cool.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:52, archived)

Hubba Hubba

Having seen the inside of that mag and the curves of Belinda I have to say she is one of the wonders of this world. MMMmmmmnnnnn

As is Cap'n Big Beards Tour Company

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:00, archived)

can i just point out

the headline about Bon Jovi - ugh!

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:56, archived)

oh look

clicky

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:38, archived)

SEETHRU MUST DIE

THEY MUST DIE.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:38, archived)

what's the actual

link between seethru and attachments?

I've never watched more than 5 minutes of the show - do they write the web site?
If so, why don't they make penguin animations that bizarelly cross into their everyday sub-'this life' days and make it more Pink Windmill show in style?

I would like that.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:14, archived)

Zeppotron made the site ...

... and a number of freelancers write for it.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:25, archived)

but what about the TV show

the site doesn't seem to reflect the Shed 7 soundtracked drama.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:28, archived)

Fook knows. I suspect there isn't much connection

- 'cept some lowly member of the TV lot giving the nod on occasionally. And then demanding for it all to be different - by tomorrow.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:32, archived)

it was supposed to be about setting up a web company

when the web was like, cool, but now it's not - so I think they play down the website in this series.
or something.
I think making it about b3ta would be way cooler. We could get real penguins in and make lots of soup and everyone could come round for high powered meetings and have cups of tea.
Any wifey could look after our company cars in the beer box garage and prawnzilla could be our guard dog, and it wouldn't matter that AGAIN I"VE DONE NO WORK.
oh god oh god.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:33, archived)

You're

sacked.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:36, archived)

if you replace me with

squeaky lady I will be SO pissed off.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:40, archived)

is squeaky lady

coming on wednesday? I have heard so much about her, that I'd love to meet her. Really. Or can you record her? Covertly?

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:41, archived)

she would make your ears bleed

it's safer if she doesn't come.
I think.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:45, archived)

how would she do that?

with a mallet and nails?

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:45, archived)

you've met?

I didn't think she got out much.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:49, archived)

she's my best friend

She actually copies her voice off me. I am her idol.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:06, archived)

you DID say you're

busy next wed didn't you?

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:10, archived)

i am going to a

squeaky voice convention.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:16, archived)

everyone

has to drink out of plastic cups at those conventions.

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:31, archived)

so you've been as well

I don't think I saw you at the last one. Were you an African King or a Doctor?

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:33, archived)

i was in my natural form

which is pure energy.

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:40, archived)

anyone else notice that

Unnovations (another Zeppotron thing) starts on Friday on PlayUK?

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:38, archived)

Can't help but feel

that PlayUK thought 'E4 have the rights to tv go home - what can we get. I know...'.
That said, they are responsible for Rock Profile so that's something.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:53, archived)

i do like

tv go home and unnovations - but it always amuses me that Zeppotron put "Formed by the writers of the 11 o clock show" in their press release - like that's something to be proud of.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:41, archived)

you guys are

such media junkies - how do you know all of this?

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 9:58, archived)

er... 'cause I once tried to get a job at zeppotron ...

... and they were having none of it?

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:13, archived)

did you not swear enough?

what was the job?

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:15, archived)

no specific job

I just contacted them & met them for a drink. Maybe I should have sweared more.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 11:35, archived)

oh dear...

who was it that did this ages ago here, was it you?

hmm, seethru is so shite, one of the bands they feature, and who do the music, drawbacks, i was their tour dj for a while. woohoo!

(Zannusi-Beatz, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:42, archived)

the goatees are nice, just

here look at Martha Stewart and Tinky Winky and Marilyn Monroe.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:54, archived)

it's true

facial hair is evil.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:02, archived)

as is that little chappie off Pop Idol

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:27, archived)

nice beard

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:03, archived)

thankyou - I lost all

ability to post an image.
oops.
I was listening to that American bloke over there (in our office) who talks like Kermit.
I could swear he just said "I don't really want them to bury the body".
What the hell was he talking about?

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:08, archived)

he's talking about you.

we've been plotting. I want to leave you in the canal - but chappy wants you behind Kings X station.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:11, archived)

chappy's HAD me

behing kings cros...
wha?
oh no not again.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:15, archived)

your loose morals disturb me.

I think you need some corrective therapy.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:26, archived)

really?

fantastic.
:)

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:27, archived)

Nothing beats

That popgirl-beard interface...

(David, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:21, archived)

WOOHOO!

nothing much to say really, so woohoo! again.

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:50, archived)

he's pretty.

will he be my friend?

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:27, archived)

mini image flood coming ...

(i've been lazy posting the emailed images)

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:28, archived)

laurence & parrots again (via Dave Palmer)

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:29, archived)

Cheer Up (via Julia Bauer)

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:31, archived)

yes she can...(via Matt Leach)

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:32, archived)

DRGS loooves you (via DRGS)

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:34, archived)

Adam (via Maeve Quigley)

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:36, archived)

the controversy grows (via SuperDuperKimbo)

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:40, archived)

The flood is over

Thanks to everyone who contributed.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:40, archived)

No web site sucks

It was late, I don't know squat about html or Java, and I didn't feel like making my first attempt perfect. (a.k.a. SuperDuperKimbo)

(Kimbo, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 10:51, archived)

Oh yeah

I made this guy on Microsoft Paint, not photoshop, so don't laugh, okay?

(Kimbo, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 11:08, archived)

should I feel

slightly bad about getting extremly turned on by this?

(Sul, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:45, archived)

Yes.

Feel bad.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:49, archived)

no don't

but keep your hands where we can see them.
And no naked dancing ok?

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:01, archived)

but

drugged up, knickerless, cheap, black and white, vietnamese whores just do it for me every time, is it so wrong? is it?

(Sul, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:02, archived)

black and white vietnamese whores?

Zebra Prostitutes? To think that they'd sink so low.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:08, archived)

well

they do, and I thank them, and god, for the poverty on the plains where the zebras roam... in vietnam

(Sul, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:25, archived)

blimey. it's like

summer was in the b3ta office. Parrots everywhere. Damn things.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:55, archived)

and that squeeky voice woman

who the fuck is she?

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:11, archived)

the one over there?

the newish one? I have no idea, but i would literally fucking KILL myself if i sounded like her.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:14, archived)

I certainly wouldn't promote her ...

... she sounds like betty boop on helium. For all I know she might be a genius - but with a voice like that - she'd be pretty hard to take seriously.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:21, archived)

sorry but I'm confused

I work about 200M up the road from here and no-way is it that dark, is it possible that bush house is casting a shadow of woe over the thames?

(Sul, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:26, archived)

I've got to go on TV tomorrow to talk about b3ta:

They said, "The channel I work on is called 'The Circuit' which is an energetic and funky youth based show (14-25 year olds) focusing on technology and web/digital culture. We would love to have yourself on our show to talk about B3TA. This would involve a 3 minute chat with one of our presenters while we are going out live. I was wondering if you would be available between 15-16.30, this Thursday 15th?"

Eek. I'm scared.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:17, archived)

did Wired

ever write that article?

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:21, archived)

Doesn't look like it.

They phoned up & had a chat though. They were asking stuff like, "Is the photoshop this a growinfg trend?"

Maybe it'll turn up when they have a dull news day. Or not.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:23, archived)

Wired are stupid

they are basicaly asking

"Is this growing trend a growing trend?"

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:29, archived)

14-25 year olds? oh. I'm too old to play.

I was on the radio this morning doing impressions of a non electric hoover in the Eddie Izzard style, going "Hoddur-dur-dur-dur-dur Hoddur-dur-dur-dur-dur"

(Nacho, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:24, archived)

Me too.

eek.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:25, archived)

We need an MP3 of that

please.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:26, archived)

I didn't record it

But do you know the sketch I mean, from "Glorious"?

(Nacho, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:31, archived)

I love his blue eyebrows

For some reason they just said to me 'Mandrill'

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:12, archived)

brill

iant

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:13, archived)

fan

tastic.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:14, archived)

magni

ficent

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:21, archived)

bra

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:22, archived)

quick

someone do Bubbles with Mike's face. Or is that just silly?

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:32, archived)

that's silly

;)

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:50, archived)

at that size he has the cheekbones

of Belinda Carlisle.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:16, archived)

Similar amount of surgery

I reckon. Although she looked pretty good in her recent Playboy shoot.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:24, archived)

Belinda Carlisle did Playboy?

But she's about 70 isn't she?

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:29, archived)

Aahh, it's good to be back on the B3ta site

I have missed you all loads!!
And look at that Jackson llama. Very good. I shall email it to my friend who looks like a llama and see if he fancies it.

(Nacho, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:11, archived)

Hey Nacho. Did you have a nice birthday?

Did your mum get you some new animals for your zoo?

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:14, archived)

My mum got me

a bottle of perfume called "Madness" cos I like the idea of reeking of Madness!!!

(Nacho, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:19, archived)

Suggs? He'd smell of boot polish & sweat.

sexy.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:21, archived)

hey chicken lips!

how's it going?

d'you wanna come for a drink with us next week (see earlier posts about DRINKS NEXT WEEK)

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:22, archived)

That's exactly how a lady should smell!! Stunning

I'd love to come out for a drink with you, but if it's a Wednesday it's a no-no cos I can't get home. And if it's a Friday do mean this Friday or the Friday after? Could possibly make the 30th November.

(Nacho, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:30, archived)

Framley Examiner

They've got a personal page now:
www.framleyexaminer.com/pages/personals.html

(

mrbrong, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:43, archived)

was it you who originally

put up the link for the fram exam?

If so I have to thank you - it is one of the funniest things ever, of all time, ever, in the history of anything.

Ever.

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:45, archived)

good.

didn't expect to laugh - bit it's funny. do you know these guys? or just found the link?

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:05, archived)

crab bloke - is this

duncan's ad?

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:17, archived)

I think

the link to their classified section was on here, ages ago (it was also in ntk, weeks later). Someone wrote "I laughed so much I forgot to kill myself". Ring any bells?

(

mrbrong, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:39, archived)

Mid Week Challenge! Bonus Ball! Mid Week Challenge! Supermatch Game! New Challenge! Bonus! Free! Gratis!

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:21, archived)

how can you make that look any

more weird than it already is?
Well I can but try.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:31, archived)

god you are quick. I thought I'd be quicker... but no.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:33, archived)

i find that

strangely more attractive.
hmmm.
would contribute but am trying not to look at the board or anything until I have achieved something of the work vareity.
am failing miserably. my takeover bid to run the meeja industry of london is falling periously behind schedule.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:35, archived)

love me

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:11, archived)

ha!

BTW: MJ has used so much laxative to control his weight that he uses tampons up his arse. And so - quite appropriate.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:13, archived)

Hang about b3ta blokes - did

you say you worked on clerkenwell road?

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:10, archived)

and girls ...

... there are women too in b3ta world.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:12, archived)

well whoopee!

I work in farringdon - we should go out drinking or summink...

I might even dust off that useless pervert Ozy & get him to come along....

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:15, archived)

yeah ... why not?

Lets have a beer next week? Exmouth arms, Wednesday, 7.00pm, off Exmouth Market. Andy K? Crab Bloke? Pep? Let's take over the world.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:17, archived)

Ozy, Ozzbourne?

Lets ROCK! No smokin' tho - he's given up apparantly, and gave away £10,000 worth of cigars.
FOOL! Shouldv'e had a bonfire and invited people over.
world takeover sounds cool. Rob - d'you have shares in the Exmouth arms. You are the only person i know that goes in it!

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:30, archived)

It's the best pub in the world, and on fridays they have a disco

and the discoman has a machine connected to the P.A. which makes zapping noises.

I like that.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:34, archived)

that sounds amazing

I shall have to um... make an effort to... get there on a friday. perhaps.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:36, archived)

Or the real reasons that I like it are quite dull:

a. You can get a seat.
b. The beer is cheap.
c. It's the nearest pub to the office.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:39, archived)

that sounds like

a lot of very good reasons to go there. Apart from the last one as it doesn't really apply to me. But the sentiment is the same.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:59, archived)

you never said that before.

I'll go anywhere for a zapping noise as well you know. Count me in.

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:37, archived)

Excellent!

Me and the perv are very much looking forward to that!

Whats wrong with the exmouth arms then?

Shouldnt we go to the griffin instead?

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:38, archived)

a griffin is surely

a fabulous beast with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion.
how can we go there?

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:48, archived)

its just up clerkenwell road

the beer is cheap, you cant get a seat, but the naked ladies are quite entertaining...

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:50, archived)

nekkid ladies... ?

I went to a pub in borough a while back for a quick drink with someone i worked with. Normal pub, full of postmen. tho. Went to the bar, ordered some drinks, was amazed to find all the bar staff in skimpy underwear & suspenders (yes, women). at 5pm on a friday! Apparantly Friday was the day thay did that

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:58, archived)

sounds good to me.

where do i sign?

do i have to become a postman?

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:02, archived)

was it

in south london near Vaxhall?

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:13, archived)

it wasn't actually but

rob & i were just discussing that one

(

pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:41, archived)

i went there

once - I had to put 20p into a tin so that the women would dance.

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 8:49, archived)

This add is great..

It really makes you wanna buy a commodore. "The power of 64k memory.."

(Tomas Sparris Harris, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 5:57, archived)

it looks like

an oscilloscope.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:06, archived)

did you

know that they did all the special effects on 'Knightmare' on one of those

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:07, archived)

I think that

bloke in the corner could make me buy anything.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:11, archived)

AndyK

I am gonna have to send you a bill soon - due to your cunning photoshop trickery I have now had to replace about 3 keyboards and a monitor over the past month or so, because I keep gobbing my coffee all over them...

Keep up the good work fella!

:)

(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:17, archived)

if you look closely

you can see he is on the b3ta.com web site...

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:17, archived)

cool. as. fuck.

respect.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 6:19, archived)

tru

(ash, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 12:49, archived)

Finally - you can play Attack of the Mutant Camels

On the move, in the office or beside your pool.

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 7:09, archived)

what *really* happened to

Stefan Dennis.

(

AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 5:23, archived)

and who would have thought that?

btw: I liked "don't it make you feel good." Is that wrong?

(

rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 5:36, archived)

Very wrong

Very wrong indeed

(milk_explosion, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 5:47, archived)

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