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# Nasty penguin
Someone just mailed this to me. Is anyone here responsible?
penguin mpeg (389Kb)
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 5:18, archived)
# penguins
can be so mean.
(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 5:35, archived)
# the Metro has a
daily whinge section where annoying people get arsey about other people on public transport. I thought that was bad. I was wrong. This is worse. Metro.co.uk
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 5:11, archived)
# After watching
The World's Wildest Police Videos III for some weeks now I decided to learn the Police call codes. I did not realise how many there were...

www.pimall.com/nais/n.radio.code.html

Favorites are:
10-91h Stray horse
10-99 Open police garage door
Code 7 Mealtime
266h Pimping
266i Pandering

There are so many more.

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:38, archived)
# Strangely
there is no code for polar bears abducting antarctican wildlife. I find this hard to believe.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:43, archived)
# M Jackson through the years
in this nice short flash movie.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:10, archived)
# how much longer
can he go on?
(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:15, archived)
# truly
disturbing
(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:15, archived)
# his skin complexion is particularly worrying
perhaps he needs a good moisturiser
(I helped save b3ta! automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:38, archived)
# Arty Stuff
I was admiring what great works f art the BBC London Webcam can produce at times:



but then I saw this


(Sul, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:00, archived)
# is she a living work of photoshop?
how did she get her head so long?
(You're right tho - the top pic is lovely.)
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:03, archived)
# ARRRG!
Is it the London version of Godzilla? She really looks like the giant monster that would love to stand ontop of BigBen knocking down airplanes...
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:08, archived)
# I seem to remember
GLR doing an advertising campaign similar to this at some point. Maybe they actually *are* doing it?
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:28, archived)
# she is looking down
at her horrid feet all messed up from stomping on citizens:

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:41, archived)
# What's this about?
(I helped save b3ta! Harold, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:54, archived)
# The scientific approach..
As the two skulls were found like this we can clearly see that they died while fighting over a banana... They both suffocated on the banana while trying to get an upper hand since there arms had been ripped off during a storm earlier that week and could not be used...
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:00, archived)
# Ah yes
but what does this tell us about the origins of mankind?

Discuss.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:11, archived)
# hmm...
Mankind loves bananas...
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:16, archived)
# No wait..
The missing link between monkeys and humans is a banana.
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:21, archived)
# I like that
This would clearly explain the symbolism in the pic. Originally I thought these were two pre-human simians that struggled for a banana, died (possibly also due to this storm you mentioned) thus paving the way for homo sapiens to conquor the earth.

But as I say, the missing link explanation is much better, simply because it's so simple it has to be true.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:39, archived)
# is it fake or not?
Test yourself - how many of the images are Computer Generated and how many are real photos. FakeOrFoto.com. I got 8.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:04, archived)
# I also
got 8 out of 10.
(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:28, archived)
# I am positively weak
With my 7 out of 10. *sniffle*

Still, this signed pic makes me feel better. Don't it make you feel good, feel good inside etc. etc.


(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:37, archived)
# I think he is
definitely computer generated. Unlike Craig McLachlan.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:50, archived)
# First go
"Excellent, a superior performance--ten out of ten answers were correct."

I'm well chuffed :)
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:42, archived)
# But
Only got 2 on the bonus round. I'm unchuffed. :(
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:46, archived)
# Definitely
computer generated is this one - that Photoshop filter 'Hairspike' was especially exploited

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:05, archived)
# i thought they were all computered
i find life confusing sometimes.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:11, archived)
# this one is C.G.
they have used the chimp filter on Mr Oakenfold here

(Esteban, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:13, archived)
# This One
ISNT computer generated

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:19, archived)
# on the subject of swearwords beginning with "I"
Ripped without permission from the profanisaurus - the modern swearing man's (or indeed lady's) bible:

I can’t believe it’s not batter Possible advertising slogan for KY Jelly. See fanny batter.
ICBM acronym Of modern day state of the art trouser weaponry, Inter Cuntinental Ballistic Missile. See also meat seeking pissile, guided muscle.
iced fingers n. Bakers confectionery-speak for the results of glazing the knuckle (qv).
I.B.M. 1. Itty Bitty Meat. A small penis. 2. Inches Below Muff. The units in which a skirt is measured.
interior decorating v. To apply the population paste (qv) with a purple headed womb broom (qv).
in the club adj. Up the duff; pregnant; pregas. abbr. in the pudding club.
impersonate Stalin v. To perform oral sex on a woman; don the beard; eat hairy pie. As in “Hold tight up there love, I’m just gonna do a quick impersonation of Stalin”.
Irish 1. n. Heterosexual anal sex, supposedly as a means of contraception. Compare Vatican roulette. 2. rhym slang ‘Irish jig - wig’
Irish shave n. A dump.
Irish toothache n. Erection; bone. As in “Is that a gun in your pocket, or have you just got Irish toothache?”
iron (hoof) rhym. slang Poof.
I.R.S. Itchy Ring Syndrome. Irritating anal affliction caused by insufficient wiping of the chocolate starfish (qv), or by inflammation of the farmers (qv).
I say! interj. Caddish expression of delight upon seeing an attractive woman.
itch n. The feeling of sexual attraction towards his wife which a married man gets on average once every 7 years.
Itchypoo Park n. The area around the chocolate starfish (qv) during a bout of I.R.S. (qv).
(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 2:47, archived)
# Blimey. Me & Crab Bloke were making an A to Z of swearing yesterday
and we got stuck on I. X was easy for some reason. "Xylophone Buggery"
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:05, archived)
# Xylocock
shoorly?
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:13, archived)
# I played them all back to Lucy ...
without telling her what they said. We re-did the ones she couldn't make out.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:16, archived)
# my favorite of all time in that
is 'monkey fag break' - a crafty wank at work
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:07, archived)
# my kind of magazine
(Shoehorn, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 1:34, archived)
# As an echidna fan, I would have to say
that this is the best magazine ever.

EVER!

apart from VIZ, which I still love more.
(bastardizor, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 2:48, archived)
# Briliant
Where can I sign up?
(I helped save b3ta! Harold, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:09, archived)
# if you're in the industry
you can pick up a free subscription at MonotremeWorld, which I believe is being held in Perth this year.
(Shoehorn, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 5:04, archived)
# My B3ta Poster


Kinda crappy, but hey, Fuck you.
(Fidel, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 21:05, archived)
# that is a truely lovely
line drawing of a pengiun.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 4:01, archived)
# I am watching Hot Reels on
CH4 and I have fallen in love with cartoons all over again. Somebody at Ch4 please tell me that all the films will be available on a vid. Some of them seemed like B3ta on telly.
(I helped save b3ta! chimpy, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 20:19, archived)
# Frogman

i love you
(pretty boy lloyd, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 20:09, archived)
# Damn me...
I wanna make a b3ta poster, but I need the original penguin dude...
If anyone wants to re-post it, I would appreciate it.
(Fidel, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 20:09, archived)
# Nevermind
I found it.
(Fidel, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 20:18, archived)
# just found this funny
(rik, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 18:04, archived)
# Is this his friend?

They seem to have had a rough night.
(thellama73, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 18:27, archived)
[challenge entry] jüppzi
What?!
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 17:43, archived)
# Is this crap or is it art?
Or maybe i should just shoot myself.
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 17:37, archived)
# well
its got a penguin... It has to be art!
(Sul, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 17:50, archived)
# ...
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 18:01, archived)
# I'm not too sure
what that penguin is holding up, is he abusing me, if so, can I have more penguins abusing me, I'd love to make a photo-tiled pic of me out of abusive penguins, that'd really brighten up my flat :-)
(Sul, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 18:31, archived)
# wel..
The sign reads: "Alright. Go Sul!!!" The penguin was cherring you for the remark that it had to be art if it got penguins... But sure.. if you want some abusing penguins I think i can arrange that.
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:22, archived)
# PERSONALLY I THINK THIS IS ART
(rik, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 18:13, archived)
# Yes
And very good art as well.. It got love, passion, friendship and hate all rolled into one...
(Tomas Sparris Harris, Wed 14 Nov 2001, 3:25, archived)
# New Film Just Out
A really shit attempt. Probably in bad taste but never mind

(Sul, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 17:04, archived)
# this happy lady

can't eat corn on the cob
(Pio, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 13:20, archived)
# I couldn't just let her live that way.
(The Wrong Di, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 19:56, archived)
# Does anybody know a good swear word beginning with the letter "I"?
Hmm? Iguana Bollocks doesn't work for me.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 10:04, archived)
# hmmm....
even rogers' profanisaurus is a bit lacking.
(Zannusi-Beatz, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 10:09, archived)
# insurance salesmen
iain duncan smith
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 10:09, archived)
# Try
Ian Beale

Iron Hoof

Or this one.

I'm bored by the way.
(james, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 10:12, archived)
# best I can find is...
itchy eye (noun)
hemorroids another term for hemorroids referring to one of the symptoms. That symptom being the itching sensation of the sphincter. "I've got the itchy eye!"

found here - www.notam.uio.no/~hcholm/altlang/stat.html
(Esteban, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 10:12, archived)
# Found this
How to swear in swedish.
www.santesson.com/curshome.htm
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 10:13, archived)
# Ipne
is turkish for asshole.
Amazing what you can learn on the net.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Tue 13 Nov 2001, 10:32, archived)

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